February 27, 2004

Our Latest Billion-Dollar Idea

Piggybacking off the -- well, we were about to say "popularity," but "notoriety" seems more appropriate -- of Mel Gibson's Jesus Porn Film, we have come up with a most excellent marketing scheme.

We want to start a proprietary aerobic/toning workout regimen, based on scourging, flaying, and carrying around a weighted wooden crosspiece on one's shoulder's. This will tone the large muscle groups in the legs, the back, and the torso, while toughening up one's epidermis. It will of course require a group exercise leader -- but a reluctant drill instructor, who is egged on by a hostile crowd of supporters.

What do we call this exercise regimen?

Pontius Pilates, of course!

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