February 16, 2005

100,000,000 Democratic Voters Can't Be Wrong

The Confidence Man has spent some time herein discussing the Dems' need to cultivate some starpower to help swell their electoral ranks.

What, however, is required -- more so even than the whispering-in-the-ear of lefty celebs -- is the development of a strategic plan to "grow" celebs into viable candidates.

The Confidence Man is speaking here not of the "intensive political seminar" sort of thing (Ken Khachigian and his cronies tried that with Reagan in the '60s; it didn't work then, and it won't now).

No, we're thinking of a power-rail-to-office (or, if you prefer the aquatic metaphor, springboard-to-power): not necessarily the barely legal machinations of Schwarzenegger in Gullyvornya via the Recall, but a similar fast-track to legitimacy in a statewide forum to serve as a base for a plausible national executive candidacy.

Specifically, the Dems need to get a celeb elected governor of a large state (ideally, a Red or swing state, but in any event, not California or New York).

The obvious answer, given the Confidence Man's previous speculations, would be Oprah in Illinois. On deeper reflection, however, Oprah probably presents as many problems as she does solutions; she's also, shall we say, a bit more headstrong than one would wish for the ideal candidate to be (Oprah as a candidate would probably be more like Ross Perot than anyone else).

No, what is needed is a slightly more malleable individual, but who still has the requisite star quality, soccer-mom appeal, understated machismo, blue-collar ethos, and ability to do sincere line readings.

Our thoughts turn to New Jersey -- and we note that there is a gubernatorial race upcoming.

(First things first, we need to convince Sen. Jon Corzine to drop his candidacy. As much as we do admire Corzine, he's (a) not the future of the Party, (b) far more "Senatorial" than "Parsdinchal," and (c) is actually a fine Senator and rainmaker and would do more good in that role.)

So we think now of Native Sons of NJ -- no, not the first person who (ahem) "springs" to mind, but the second.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, we're talking about Mr. Jon Bon Jovi -- your next Democratic Governor of the Great State of New Jersey.

And, thenceforth, the leading candidate for the Dem Presidential nom in '08.

And, yes, we're quite serious about this.

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