To all you under-30s out there who voted for Bush: enjoy your fucking draft!
What kind of blithering idiot thinks that with 90% of our armed forces tied down in Iraq we're somehow "safer"?
If the Confidence Man was China, synecdochally speaking, he would go right ahead and invade Taiwan, both Koreas, and maybe Japan and Alaska for the hell of it. I mean, really, what's stopping them?
November 03, 2004
Marketing vs Salesmanship
Here's the problem with the Democrats: they don't think like marketers, they think like salesmen -- salesmen with a dingy warehouse full of outmoded merchandise.
The post-Gingrich GOP genuinely does think like an organization devoted to marketing principles: they don't think, as the Dems do, "How can I pawn off this shoddy old merchandise on my unsuspecting customers?"
Rather, the GOP thinks, "How can I build a product that satisfies the demonstrable desires of the marketplace?"
The marketplace demands a candidate who is resolute, principled, and unwavering.
So the GOP builds a candidate to those specs. By being, in their devotion to the demands of the marketplace, irresolute, unprincipled, and wavering.
And, yes, the Confidence Man sees the irony therein -- but do not mistake that irony for anything less than a signal aspect of the Irony of the Modern.
That is, do not mistake this for a cheap and lesser irony, the irony of hypocrisy. The salesman is the hypocritical antimodern; the marketer is the ironic modern.
The post-Gingrich GOP genuinely does think like an organization devoted to marketing principles: they don't think, as the Dems do, "How can I pawn off this shoddy old merchandise on my unsuspecting customers?"
Rather, the GOP thinks, "How can I build a product that satisfies the demonstrable desires of the marketplace?"
The marketplace demands a candidate who is resolute, principled, and unwavering.
So the GOP builds a candidate to those specs. By being, in their devotion to the demands of the marketplace, irresolute, unprincipled, and wavering.
And, yes, the Confidence Man sees the irony therein -- but do not mistake that irony for anything less than a signal aspect of the Irony of the Modern.
That is, do not mistake this for a cheap and lesser irony, the irony of hypocrisy. The salesman is the hypocritical antimodern; the marketer is the ironic modern.
Who's The Man?
Whence the Next Great Charismatic Democratic Leader?
Edwards has the Mondalean Taint to him now. And there's little, if anything, he can do in the next four years to pump up his vitae. Unless he, say, sues bin Laden and/or the Saudis.
As much as we like Barack Obama, he's (a) too young, (b) too inexperienced, and (c) too black (sorry, but it has to be said; the mouth-breathing, queer-bashing red-staters who voted Bush in won't go for it) to contend any earlier than, say, 2020. He'll also have to get in a term or two as IL governor.
Gavin Newsom is Obama redux, but too gay (by association) instead of black. Again, a solid candidate in 2020, but not until then. And he, too, needs a couple terms as CA governor.
As for Hillary Clinton ... well, the Confidence Man has to confess to having had a serious crush on Hillary for over 15 years. Really. No, really. She's hot, she's smart, she's serious but with a goofy streak (remember "okey-dokey, artichokey"?) ... ok, anyway ... Hillary unfortunately is the Newt Gingrich of the Democratic Party. She simply has no national electoral future.
There is talk around the despondent left blogosphere that the Dems need to cultivate some more smooth-talkin', flouncy-haired Southern charlatans to paw at the electorate. This, in the abstract, is not a bad idea; but whence y'all gonna find 'em? The Dems are going to struggle to elect anyone to gubernatorial or Senatorial office in the South for a while; their farm system looks like the Yankees' right now, bereft of real prospects and in need of propitious draft picks. Which means that the Dems won't have any decent national candidates from the South for, say, at least 12 years.
The pro-Southerner argument is predicated on a negative proposition that is certainly true enough: that the Dems can not put forward a Northeastern candidate for the foreseeable future. If for no other reason than the constituency politics of a Northeastern state (excepting, perhaps, Pennsylvania) would necessitate too onerous a track record.
The Midwest and Southwest are much more fertile breeding grounds. If Obama can develop an effective Midwest machine, he could likely prove to be a real power broker in the immediate future. Bill Richardson's moment is probably over, gone with Kerry's rejection of him as a VP candidate. The new senator from Colorado, Salazar, shows some promise, but it's early yet.
Which brings us to ... California. Now, as moribund as the CA GOP is (Schwarzenegger is not even a figurehead for the CA GOP; he is a distraction from a state party that has zero support or power, and Arnold isn't interested in machine-building, he's interested in Arnold-boosting), the CA Demo party is itself in trouble. The CA Dems are in the same position the national party was in Congress back in the '70s: solidly in power, but out of touch and unable to develop charismatic leadership. Newsom is the only "name" Dem in the state right now: the rest are either Gray Davis/Al Gore-style technocrats or Willie Brown-style porcinoma barkers.
The wild card, of course, when one considers California is Hollywood. Now, the obvious activist types (Alec Baldwin, Rob Reiner, Sarandon & Robbins) are all obvious electoral losers; not so much because they're liberals per se (although that -- and their collective sanctimony -- doesn't help) but because none of them are superstars. When discussing actors-turned-politicians, most folks tend to draw the wrong lessons from Reagan. Yes, Reagan was a minor B-actor in his Hollywood days, but he really did make himself into a superstar, starting with the hard slog through the promotional appearances for GE in the late '50s. What Reagan did was to invent, inhabit, and sell a loveable persona. Which is precisely what Schwarzenegger did.
So, if one is to look to Hollywood for potential candidates, that is the sort of character one wants. Someone with either an established loveable persona, or someone with the capacity to develop one with the single-minded rapacity superstardom demands. In other words, someone who can "open a film."
The Confidence Man hereby nominates ... Jim Carrey. Really. No, really. Think about that one.
(And, yes, we know Carrey's Canadian; but we have Confidence that the Schwarzenegger Amendment will be ratified by 2012.)
Edwards has the Mondalean Taint to him now. And there's little, if anything, he can do in the next four years to pump up his vitae. Unless he, say, sues bin Laden and/or the Saudis.
As much as we like Barack Obama, he's (a) too young, (b) too inexperienced, and (c) too black (sorry, but it has to be said; the mouth-breathing, queer-bashing red-staters who voted Bush in won't go for it) to contend any earlier than, say, 2020. He'll also have to get in a term or two as IL governor.
Gavin Newsom is Obama redux, but too gay (by association) instead of black. Again, a solid candidate in 2020, but not until then. And he, too, needs a couple terms as CA governor.
As for Hillary Clinton ... well, the Confidence Man has to confess to having had a serious crush on Hillary for over 15 years. Really. No, really. She's hot, she's smart, she's serious but with a goofy streak (remember "okey-dokey, artichokey"?) ... ok, anyway ... Hillary unfortunately is the Newt Gingrich of the Democratic Party. She simply has no national electoral future.
There is talk around the despondent left blogosphere that the Dems need to cultivate some more smooth-talkin', flouncy-haired Southern charlatans to paw at the electorate. This, in the abstract, is not a bad idea; but whence y'all gonna find 'em? The Dems are going to struggle to elect anyone to gubernatorial or Senatorial office in the South for a while; their farm system looks like the Yankees' right now, bereft of real prospects and in need of propitious draft picks. Which means that the Dems won't have any decent national candidates from the South for, say, at least 12 years.
The pro-Southerner argument is predicated on a negative proposition that is certainly true enough: that the Dems can not put forward a Northeastern candidate for the foreseeable future. If for no other reason than the constituency politics of a Northeastern state (excepting, perhaps, Pennsylvania) would necessitate too onerous a track record.
The Midwest and Southwest are much more fertile breeding grounds. If Obama can develop an effective Midwest machine, he could likely prove to be a real power broker in the immediate future. Bill Richardson's moment is probably over, gone with Kerry's rejection of him as a VP candidate. The new senator from Colorado, Salazar, shows some promise, but it's early yet.
Which brings us to ... California. Now, as moribund as the CA GOP is (Schwarzenegger is not even a figurehead for the CA GOP; he is a distraction from a state party that has zero support or power, and Arnold isn't interested in machine-building, he's interested in Arnold-boosting), the CA Demo party is itself in trouble. The CA Dems are in the same position the national party was in Congress back in the '70s: solidly in power, but out of touch and unable to develop charismatic leadership. Newsom is the only "name" Dem in the state right now: the rest are either Gray Davis/Al Gore-style technocrats or Willie Brown-style porcinoma barkers.
The wild card, of course, when one considers California is Hollywood. Now, the obvious activist types (Alec Baldwin, Rob Reiner, Sarandon & Robbins) are all obvious electoral losers; not so much because they're liberals per se (although that -- and their collective sanctimony -- doesn't help) but because none of them are superstars. When discussing actors-turned-politicians, most folks tend to draw the wrong lessons from Reagan. Yes, Reagan was a minor B-actor in his Hollywood days, but he really did make himself into a superstar, starting with the hard slog through the promotional appearances for GE in the late '50s. What Reagan did was to invent, inhabit, and sell a loveable persona. Which is precisely what Schwarzenegger did.
So, if one is to look to Hollywood for potential candidates, that is the sort of character one wants. Someone with either an established loveable persona, or someone with the capacity to develop one with the single-minded rapacity superstardom demands. In other words, someone who can "open a film."
The Confidence Man hereby nominates ... Jim Carrey. Really. No, really. Think about that one.
(And, yes, we know Carrey's Canadian; but we have Confidence that the Schwarzenegger Amendment will be ratified by 2012.)
Where Did All the Nader Votes Go?
The Confidence Man is conflicted on whether to give any credence to the Diebold-machine-ate-my-Kerry-vote rumors. The diktat seems to have gone out to the major lefty bloggers to leave the issue alone, although commenters are popping up here and there to speculate.
But here's a thought: what if the Diebold touch-screen machines had been configured to change most/all Nader votes to Bush votes?
Who would notice? Nader was polling really low (although not as low as his final numbers, which is what spurred us to think of this possibility) and there's not really any organized constituency to complain. But that extra jot of votes would have provided the boost Bush needed.
(And, yes, we are aware that Nader was not on many state ballots -- including Ohio's.)
Anyway, just idle speculation ...
But here's a thought: what if the Diebold touch-screen machines had been configured to change most/all Nader votes to Bush votes?
Who would notice? Nader was polling really low (although not as low as his final numbers, which is what spurred us to think of this possibility) and there's not really any organized constituency to complain. But that extra jot of votes would have provided the boost Bush needed.
(And, yes, we are aware that Nader was not on many state ballots -- including Ohio's.)
Anyway, just idle speculation ...
Assassination Watch
[Let me preface this by saying that I do not condone any of the awful scenarios I outline below, and I hope against hope that they do not come to pass. But the election of Bush on the coattails of the 11 gay-bashing ballot initiatives across the country makes for a grim outlook.]
Well, the one silver lining for Senator Kerry this morning is that his electoral loss probably saved his life.
The Confidence Man is certain that had Kerry won, there would have been multiple attempts on his life.
As for other prominent targets, Hillary Clinton and Michael Moore are probably likewise spared.
Barney Frank and Gavin Newsom, on the other hand, ought to beef up their security. And that "random attack" on David Souter may get less "random."
And Americans had best prepare themselves for several Matthew Shephards over the next couple of years. As well as a Krystallnacht next year in the Castro and the East Village. Bigotry has been given free rein. There will be an aggressive terror campaign against the LGBT community -- and Bush's DoJ, under Ashcroft or a successor, will do absolutely nothing about it.
Update: Our colleague Astronaut Body thinks that the more likely targets for group attacks would be gay enclaves in the Midwest or South (e.g., Boys Town in Chicago). He may be right.
Well, the one silver lining for Senator Kerry this morning is that his electoral loss probably saved his life.
The Confidence Man is certain that had Kerry won, there would have been multiple attempts on his life.
As for other prominent targets, Hillary Clinton and Michael Moore are probably likewise spared.
Barney Frank and Gavin Newsom, on the other hand, ought to beef up their security. And that "random attack" on David Souter may get less "random."
And Americans had best prepare themselves for several Matthew Shephards over the next couple of years. As well as a Krystallnacht next year in the Castro and the East Village. Bigotry has been given free rein. There will be an aggressive terror campaign against the LGBT community -- and Bush's DoJ, under Ashcroft or a successor, will do absolutely nothing about it.
Update: Our colleague Astronaut Body thinks that the more likely targets for group attacks would be gay enclaves in the Midwest or South (e.g., Boys Town in Chicago). He may be right.
Going to Croatan
I'm Going to Croatan. Leaving my scrawl in the dust. Burying my hatchet in a stump. Burning my clothes in a heap.
OK, maybe not.
As ignoble as the sentiment is, it had to be vented.
And, of course, a lot of folks are going to be feeling similarly this morning.
And will be for some time.
The Confidence Man does in fact foresee several exodi from the Democratic Party over this result:
OK, maybe not.
As ignoble as the sentiment is, it had to be vented.
And, of course, a lot of folks are going to be feeling similarly this morning.
And will be for some time.
The Confidence Man does in fact foresee several exodi from the Democratic Party over this result:
- African Americans will accelerate their departure from the party; this departure will be fractured, however. The wealthy and the assimilated will continue to trend Republican. The Northeastern and Upper Midwestern will start to seriously question just what, exactly, the Democrats are accomplishing for them; the question in those locations is whether they push aggressively to take over urban Dem chapters, go Republican, go to some inchoate third party, or Go to Croatan. African Americans in the South will most likely stick with the Dems, as the alternatives there either don't exist or are unacceptable.
- "Progressives" will split violently. One-third (the careerists who make a living blogging or working for Lib Establishment organizations such as the Sierra Club) will stick with the Dems. One third will definitively abandon the Dems for the Greens. And one third will Go to Croatan.
- Labor will also split in thirds: the larger and more conservative brotherhoods (e.g., the Teamsters, various construction and building-trades organizations) will aggressively flirt with the GOP; the unions that went for Dean in the primaries will see a membership revolt and will snuggle back up to the establishment Dems; and a small coterie of various service organizations will try to make allegiance with the Progressives and go Green or other third party.
- The LGBT community will overall trend leftward: Republicans will move to the Dems, Dems will move to the Greens, Greens will Go to Croatan. And across the spectrum, gays will flee to urban areas and blue states, reversing any exurbanization trends among the demographic.
- "Centrist" DLC types will rive in twain, both trending away from the Democratic Party: half (mostly in the South and in foreign relations) will eventually defect to the GOP and half will attempt to start a centrist coalition with the disaffected moderate Republicans.
- Hollywood, for the most part, will remain solidly in the Dems' camp. The usual opportunists at the very top of the Hollywood food chain, following the Lew Wasserman model, will finally ingratiate themselves with the Bush-Rove-Cheney GOP. (Part of that movement will also entail unceremoniously dumping Billy Tauzin from his new position as head of the MPAA in favor of a Repub.) Some of the more activist types will probably go Green.
- Hispanics will rapidly accelerate their trend toward the GOP.
Disappointed!
Well, that certainly sucked.
The best metaphor the Confidence Man can dredge up this morning is an early scene from A Fish Called Wanda, wherein Kevin Kline's dimwit-who-thinks-himself-a-Nietzschean-genius discovers that he's been double-crossed by his criminal partner/rival. Kline stares at the open, empty safe where he'd hidden his loot, then starts furiously firing his gun at the yawning maw, howling "DISAPPOINTED!"
More disjointed, unorganized thoughts to follow throughout the day.
By the way, Mr. Jibbenainosay, we're still waiting for your reading of the whole Jim Bunning scenario.
The best metaphor the Confidence Man can dredge up this morning is an early scene from A Fish Called Wanda, wherein Kevin Kline's dimwit-who-thinks-himself-a-Nietzschean-genius discovers that he's been double-crossed by his criminal partner/rival. Kline stares at the open, empty safe where he'd hidden his loot, then starts furiously firing his gun at the yawning maw, howling "DISAPPOINTED!"
More disjointed, unorganized thoughts to follow throughout the day.
By the way, Mr. Jibbenainosay, we're still waiting for your reading of the whole Jim Bunning scenario.
November 02, 2004
Tilting to Bush, or the 'Murcan Projection
The Confidence Man dressed up for Halloween in an Edward Tufte costume.
There's been some carryover from the costume, as the Confidence Man notes the intriguing vertical-axis tilt of this electoral map. The top of the map appears to be tilted back at about a 10 degree angle from the Mason-Dixon line.
Many of the electoral maps the Confidence Man is seeing on network coverage this evening show an even more pronounced graphical tilt, with a 3D effect that enhances the land-mass distortion of the southern states.
The Confidence Man doubts that this is intentional, but visually, these tilted maps do seem to emphasize the geographic dominance of the red-colored southern states.
There's been some carryover from the costume, as the Confidence Man notes the intriguing vertical-axis tilt of this electoral map. The top of the map appears to be tilted back at about a 10 degree angle from the Mason-Dixon line.
Many of the electoral maps the Confidence Man is seeing on network coverage this evening show an even more pronounced graphical tilt, with a 3D effect that enhances the land-mass distortion of the southern states.
The Confidence Man doubts that this is intentional, but visually, these tilted maps do seem to emphasize the geographic dominance of the red-colored southern states.
Mmmmm, crow!
In the Confidence Man's first-ever post at Croatan, he expressed grave reservations about Candidate Kerry and projected some dire results.
Obviously, I was wrong. Kerry has turned out to indeed be an excellent "closer," and the DLC-centric team he has assembled has proved to be more assertive and shrewd than anticipated.
(Though I still insist that without Dean's aggressive attacks on Bush and his Fiasqo, Kerry wouldn't be in the position to win.)
Early exit polls look good. The Confidence Man is keeping his fingers crossed.
If Kerry loses, Mrs. Confidence Man has designs on Going to Croatan. Can't say I blame her.
Obviously, I was wrong. Kerry has turned out to indeed be an excellent "closer," and the DLC-centric team he has assembled has proved to be more assertive and shrewd than anticipated.
(Though I still insist that without Dean's aggressive attacks on Bush and his Fiasqo, Kerry wouldn't be in the position to win.)
Early exit polls look good. The Confidence Man is keeping his fingers crossed.
If Kerry loses, Mrs. Confidence Man has designs on Going to Croatan. Can't say I blame her.
October 29, 2004
That Explains a Lot
Via an intriguing precis by NewDonkey, the Confidence Man reads Andrei Cherny's TNR article on how Dems can potentially coopt Bush's "Ownership Society" shell game.
Now, there is an interesting and potentially fruitful conceit there (one that our good friend Aloysius Huntsley would praise for its fecundity). A conceit that NewDonkey's precis actually sums up better than the article itself.
However, this article is absolutely worthless. It's clumsy, awkward, tone-deaf, riddled with cliches and boilerplate wonk-pitchery. It's unfocused. It's unstructured. It's a terrible piece of writing.
So, the Confidence Man gets to the end of this excruciating piece of verbiage -- and finds out that the author Cherny "between February 2003 and April 2004 [...] was the director of speechwriting and a special advisor on policy for the Kerry for President campaign."
Oh.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Now, there is an interesting and potentially fruitful conceit there (one that our good friend Aloysius Huntsley would praise for its fecundity). A conceit that NewDonkey's precis actually sums up better than the article itself.
However, this article is absolutely worthless. It's clumsy, awkward, tone-deaf, riddled with cliches and boilerplate wonk-pitchery. It's unfocused. It's unstructured. It's a terrible piece of writing.
So, the Confidence Man gets to the end of this excruciating piece of verbiage -- and finds out that the author Cherny "between February 2003 and April 2004 [...] was the director of speechwriting and a special advisor on policy for the Kerry for President campaign."
Oh.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Nomencreature
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/americas/10/28/dog.names.ap/index.html
My god! Suddenly, I wonder what has been going through the minds of my poor little boy and girl, Halliburton and Fox, all this time?
Brazilian lawmakers want ban on human names for pets
Friday, October 29, 2004 Posted: 8:30 AM EDT (1230 GMT)
Federal congressman Reinaldo Santos e Silva proposed the law after
psychologists suggested that some children may get depressed when they learn
they share their first name with someone's pet, said Damarias Alves, a
spokeswoman for Silva.
My god! Suddenly, I wonder what has been going through the minds of my poor little boy and girl, Halliburton and Fox, all this time?
October 28, 2004
Retard Turnout
That phrase (used by Eric Alterman stand-in Siva Vaidhyanathan to describe a Salon item on black voter-suppression by the GOP) pretty much sums up the GOP electoral strategy for Tuesday, doesn't it?
Equally apropos whether the first word is the verb (in the case of Dem voters) or the subject (GOP voters) ...
Equally apropos whether the first word is the verb (in the case of Dem voters) or the subject (GOP voters) ...
That Sounds Dirty
"Lincolnalia."
And, of course, the context is appropriate.
Jibbenainosay, we await your input on this matter.
And, of course, the context is appropriate.
Jibbenainosay, we await your input on this matter.
More Professional Myopia
Richard Posner has an essay in Legal Affairs bemoaning the pitiful quality of academic legal journals.
Funny thing is, Posner postulates a decline in academic legal publishing standards and practices in comparison to other professional academic disciplines.
After l'Affaire Sokal several years ago, no one can say that humanities journals are genuinely refereed.
And the Confidence Man himself has some insight into the shady theatrics of medical and scientific journals.
The point is, every profession has its cads and bounders, its shady operators and Confidence Men. And professional house organs will always be institutional shills; and, being of necessity shills, their hegemonic imperative will outweigh their capitalistic imperative. That is, academic journals -- especially the house journals of professional organizations -- are loss-leaders. And the business units tasked with producing loss-leaders are institutionally incapable of driving organizational change -- and are generally under-budgeted.
All of which means that the editors of academic journals are underpaid and have very little power.
Which, in turn, means that criticizing academic journals for the shortcomings of a profession is like blaming enlisted men and NCOs for the failings of the chain of command.
Funny thing is, Posner postulates a decline in academic legal publishing standards and practices in comparison to other professional academic disciplines.
After l'Affaire Sokal several years ago, no one can say that humanities journals are genuinely refereed.
And the Confidence Man himself has some insight into the shady theatrics of medical and scientific journals.
The point is, every profession has its cads and bounders, its shady operators and Confidence Men. And professional house organs will always be institutional shills; and, being of necessity shills, their hegemonic imperative will outweigh their capitalistic imperative. That is, academic journals -- especially the house journals of professional organizations -- are loss-leaders. And the business units tasked with producing loss-leaders are institutionally incapable of driving organizational change -- and are generally under-budgeted.
All of which means that the editors of academic journals are underpaid and have very little power.
Which, in turn, means that criticizing academic journals for the shortcomings of a profession is like blaming enlisted men and NCOs for the failings of the chain of command.
Plus, All Those Trial-Lawyer-Induced Jury Awards Make It Hard to Get Historiographic-Malpractice Insurance
The Confidence Man reads with bemusement the latest quinquennial irruption of the "Historiography in Crisis!" swarm.
(Another neologism opportunity: "buzzing" cultural forms that run in unremarked cycles, and are dependent upon the unremarkedness to maintain their cyclicity and currency, should be said to operate on cicadian rhythms.)
(Another neologism opportunity: "buzzing" cultural forms that run in unremarked cycles, and are dependent upon the unremarkedness to maintain their cyclicity and currency, should be said to operate on cicadian rhythms.)
October 27, 2004
Fetching Naivete
Laura Rosen, who is usually a little more hardheaded about these things, waxes naive in her concern for the ability of the Bush White House lawyers to find gainful employ after their boss goes down in flames next Tuesday [emphasis added]:
Can the White House and Justice Department lawyers be prosecuted for war crimes? They are responsible for writing secret memos authorizing the CIA's disappearing of prisoners. Even after the Abu Ghraib revelations. Appalling. And are their tactics proving effective -- at all -- in Iraq? You judge. US and Iraqi death rates are only rising in Iraq by the month. After they inevitably leave government at some point, some will try to return to university law schools to teach. What students would possibly want them at their law school? These people should be treated like the international pariahs they are.
Laura, Laura, Laura.
Ken Starr found a job. (OK, it was at the Fundamentalist Surf Madrassah of the Far West, but it's still a job.)
Even John Yoo found a job -- at fuckin' Berkeley!
Yes, these people should be pariahs -- but they won't be. Neither will Cheney. Neither will Rumsfeld. Hell, Bush is going to be the next Commissioner of Baseball -- and what do you want to bet that Bush issues pardons to all those involved on his way out of the Oval Office (after stopping to pull off all the "J," "F," and "K" keys from the White House computers).
Can the White House and Justice Department lawyers be prosecuted for war crimes? They are responsible for writing secret memos authorizing the CIA's disappearing of prisoners. Even after the Abu Ghraib revelations. Appalling. And are their tactics proving effective -- at all -- in Iraq? You judge. US and Iraqi death rates are only rising in Iraq by the month. After they inevitably leave government at some point, some will try to return to university law schools to teach. What students would possibly want them at their law school? These people should be treated like the international pariahs they are.
Laura, Laura, Laura.
Ken Starr found a job. (OK, it was at the Fundamentalist Surf Madrassah of the Far West, but it's still a job.)
Even John Yoo found a job -- at fuckin' Berkeley!
Yes, these people should be pariahs -- but they won't be. Neither will Cheney. Neither will Rumsfeld. Hell, Bush is going to be the next Commissioner of Baseball -- and what do you want to bet that Bush issues pardons to all those involved on his way out of the Oval Office (after stopping to pull off all the "J," "F," and "K" keys from the White House computers).
Venn Diagram? Vhat Diagram?
The Confidence Man peruses his local job listings, and comes across the following in a posting for a marketing position:
Key requirements:
But -- Pepperdine?!? The Fundamentalist Surf Madrassa of the Far West? The place that hired this dickweed?
Key requirements:
- Excellent academic performance with degree from a highest tier university or liberal arts institution such as Harvard, MIT, Stamford [sic], Cal Berkeley, UCLA, Pepperdine, Amhurst [sic], Williams, Middlebury etc.
But -- Pepperdine?!? The Fundamentalist Surf Madrassa of the Far West? The place that hired this dickweed?
October 26, 2004
Red October Surprise?
Um. The Confidence Man can't think of any good reasons -- none at all -- why Colin Powell would go shooting his mouth off pro or con regarding Taiwanese independence a week before the US election.
Jesus. Is a shooting war between China and Taiwan the Bushies' October Surprise? The Confidence Man has to admit he didn't see that one coming.
I guess Colin figures that if Bush loses, there really will be war crimes tribunals ...
Jesus. Is a shooting war between China and Taiwan the Bushies' October Surprise? The Confidence Man has to admit he didn't see that one coming.
I guess Colin figures that if Bush loses, there really will be war crimes tribunals ...
Live From Forked Tongue, Wisconsin
... or, uh, no, fuck you, George.
The NYT is reporting that Bush now thinks that the GOP plank banning civil unions as well as gay marriage is wrong.
As Andrew Sullivan so rightly says, "President speak in forked tongue."
(The Confidence Man must suppress his initial instinct to respond to Andy, "What do you mean we, Paleface?" We think that supporters of the Bush pResidency should be subject to a domestic corollary to Colin Powell's Iraq "Pottery Barn Rule": you bought it, you own it.)
Sullivan also (wilfully?) misreads the pResident's statement as opposing individual state laws currently banning civil unions. Bush states quite clearly that he's in favor of letting states make the decision to ban civil unions on their own.
All that aside, this is quite a clumsy move by Bush. The Confidence Man doesn't see how this can't hurt him grievously among the Fundies and their fellow travelers, in numbers far outweighing any Log Lean-To and/or swing voters.
It's also, of course, grossly hypocritical and insulting for Bush to claim that he doesn't support a plank in his own god-damn party platform as well as a Constitutional Amendment for which he has been campaigning. Asshole.
The NYT is reporting that Bush now thinks that the GOP plank banning civil unions as well as gay marriage is wrong.
As Andrew Sullivan so rightly says, "President speak in forked tongue."
(The Confidence Man must suppress his initial instinct to respond to Andy, "What do you mean we, Paleface?" We think that supporters of the Bush pResidency should be subject to a domestic corollary to Colin Powell's Iraq "Pottery Barn Rule": you bought it, you own it.)
Sullivan also (wilfully?) misreads the pResident's statement as opposing individual state laws currently banning civil unions. Bush states quite clearly that he's in favor of letting states make the decision to ban civil unions on their own.
All that aside, this is quite a clumsy move by Bush. The Confidence Man doesn't see how this can't hurt him grievously among the Fundies and their fellow travelers, in numbers far outweighing any Log Lean-To and/or swing voters.
It's also, of course, grossly hypocritical and insulting for Bush to claim that he doesn't support a plank in his own god-damn party platform as well as a Constitutional Amendment for which he has been campaigning. Asshole.
Neologism
The Confidence Man reads Andrew Sullivan's surprising-only-to-himself-and-not-quite-so-much-to-Chris-Hitchens Kerry endorsement in TNR, and comes across an entertaining opportunity for a neologism.
In discussing the domestic aspects of Bush's atrocious record, Sullivan writes [emphasis added]:
Domestically, the record is horrifying for a fiscal conservative. Ronald
Reagan raised taxes in his first term when he had to; and he didn't have
September 11 to contend with. Ronald Reagan also cut domestic spending.
Bush has been unable to muster the conservative courage to do either. He
has spent like a drunken liberal Democrat. He has failed to grapple with
entitlement reform, as he once promised. He has larded up the tax code
with endless breaks for corporate special interests; pork has
metastasized; and he has tainted the cause of tax relief by
concentrating too much of it on the wealthy. He has made the future
boomer fiscal crunch far more acute by adding a hugely expensive new
Medicare prescription drug entitlement.
"Pork has metastasized": the Confidence Man herewith proposes porcinoma as the appropropriate term for out-of-control corporate welfare in government spending.
In discussing the domestic aspects of Bush's atrocious record, Sullivan writes [emphasis added]:
Domestically, the record is horrifying for a fiscal conservative. Ronald
Reagan raised taxes in his first term when he had to; and he didn't have
September 11 to contend with. Ronald Reagan also cut domestic spending.
Bush has been unable to muster the conservative courage to do either. He
has spent like a drunken liberal Democrat. He has failed to grapple with
entitlement reform, as he once promised. He has larded up the tax code
with endless breaks for corporate special interests; pork has
metastasized; and he has tainted the cause of tax relief by
concentrating too much of it on the wealthy. He has made the future
boomer fiscal crunch far more acute by adding a hugely expensive new
Medicare prescription drug entitlement.
"Pork has metastasized": the Confidence Man herewith proposes porcinoma as the appropropriate term for out-of-control corporate welfare in government spending.
L'Age d'Oh!
The Confidence Man reads Jibbenainosay's entreaty with a jaundiced eye.
We suspect that the link simply wasn't coded. A "human" error.
But, who knows? It certainly could be CNN policy -- which would not be surprising. The mass media is certainly a-roil with consternation over the threat to its information oligopoly.
We suspect that the link simply wasn't coded. A "human" error.
But, who knows? It certainly could be CNN policy -- which would not be surprising. The mass media is certainly a-roil with consternation over the threat to its information oligopoly.
Which America Was Attacked on 9/11?
Via Matt Yglesias, the Confidence Man reads Paul Waldman's Gadflyer article on Bush's mobilization of the "real America" meme to denigrate Kerry -- and the strctural impossibility of Kerry being able to counterpunch. It's a nice piece of analysis, especially the focus on the demographic trends that are dooming the GOP to premodern irrelevancy.
But there is a key question that needs to be brought to the table here: namely, which of these two Americas, the "real" or the Real, was actually attacked on 9/11?
The Confidence Man has spoken before about the fact that the America that was attacked on 9/11 was in fact the Modernist Real America, the land of economic progress, globalizing transnational corporations, secularism, hedonism, and pluralism. Look at any Fundie Islamist screed to see what the WTC actually represented to them.
The "real" America -- the red-state America of Fundie Christianity, small-town mores, economic protectionism, social conservatism, etc etc -- was most definitely not attacked on 9/11. Al Qaida couldn't care less about the backwards anti-Modernist red-state rubes. Al Qaida wants to kill the Liberals.
But there is a key question that needs to be brought to the table here: namely, which of these two Americas, the "real" or the Real, was actually attacked on 9/11?
The Confidence Man has spoken before about the fact that the America that was attacked on 9/11 was in fact the Modernist Real America, the land of economic progress, globalizing transnational corporations, secularism, hedonism, and pluralism. Look at any Fundie Islamist screed to see what the WTC actually represented to them.
The "real" America -- the red-state America of Fundie Christianity, small-town mores, economic protectionism, social conservatism, etc etc -- was most definitely not attacked on 9/11. Al Qaida couldn't care less about the backwards anti-Modernist red-state rubes. Al Qaida wants to kill the Liberals.
You Mean, That Movie Where Bing Crosby Sodomized Bob Hope With a Glowstick?
Phil Carter of the invaluable Intel Dump has an excellent Washington Monthly article, "The Road to Abu Ghraib," on the chain-of-command decisions that resulted in the abuses at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo (and, as Carter does not point out, god knows where else).
Carter has been hounding this story from its inception, and does a great job of filling in between the lines.
What he does not do, unfortunately (to distend the diagrammatic metaphor), is connect the dots.
Beyond written and verbal orders, beyond rules of engagement and legal opinions, what personally drove many (dare we say, most; virtually all?) soldiers on the ground in Iraq was the belief that Saddam Hussein was somehow "behind" or connected with the attacks of 9/11, and that Hussein harbored vaguely-defined "terrorists" who sought to further attack America. This entirely erroneous belief -- shared by an unconscionable number of Americans and a simply unconscious number of FOX News viewers -- surely worked in conjunction with the nominal and sub rosa orders in the field.
Which is to say, the chain of command -- from Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld on down -- knew that not only would a loosing of the Geneva Conventions result in lack of oversight and escalation of abuses, but that the soldiers' personal and patriotic emotions would be highly engaged in the matter as well.
And, of course, who is responsible for the erroneous belief that would drive the soldiers to seek personal and patriotic revanchism on Iraqis? Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld.
This interconnection of motivation and context is necessary for a complete understanding of the situation.
(The Confidence Man might also note that Carter does not address the fact that neither Bush nor Cheney nor Rumsfeld ever actually served in the military, which would certainly explain their inability to foresee the consequences of their actions.)
Carter has been hounding this story from its inception, and does a great job of filling in between the lines.
What he does not do, unfortunately (to distend the diagrammatic metaphor), is connect the dots.
Beyond written and verbal orders, beyond rules of engagement and legal opinions, what personally drove many (dare we say, most; virtually all?) soldiers on the ground in Iraq was the belief that Saddam Hussein was somehow "behind" or connected with the attacks of 9/11, and that Hussein harbored vaguely-defined "terrorists" who sought to further attack America. This entirely erroneous belief -- shared by an unconscionable number of Americans and a simply unconscious number of FOX News viewers -- surely worked in conjunction with the nominal and sub rosa orders in the field.
Which is to say, the chain of command -- from Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld on down -- knew that not only would a loosing of the Geneva Conventions result in lack of oversight and escalation of abuses, but that the soldiers' personal and patriotic emotions would be highly engaged in the matter as well.
And, of course, who is responsible for the erroneous belief that would drive the soldiers to seek personal and patriotic revanchism on Iraqis? Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld.
This interconnection of motivation and context is necessary for a complete understanding of the situation.
(The Confidence Man might also note that Carter does not address the fact that neither Bush nor Cheney nor Rumsfeld ever actually served in the military, which would certainly explain their inability to foresee the consequences of their actions.)
What About Anthropologists of Management?
... or, for that matter, Anthropology Department Heads, or Anthropologists elevated to the status of Dean?
The Confidence Man reads yet another admirable example of Our Gumptious Mayor standing up for what he believes in. To wit, in this instance, threatening to walk the picket lines alongside locked-out hotel staffers in an attempt to bring the hotel cabal to a resolution of the labor dispute.
But what really grabs the Confidence Man's attention is the gratuitous and irrational lefty bombast by the American Anthropological Association President Elizabeth Brumfiel: "anthropologists cannot, in all good conscience, meet in facilities whose owners are using the lockout of low-wage workers as a bargaining tactic."
If Prof. Blumfiel was truly on the side of the workers, she would best be advised to come up with something a little more snappy by way of a rallying cry: the Confidence Man suggests "Anthropologists cannot be Apologists!"
The Confidence Man reads yet another admirable example of Our Gumptious Mayor standing up for what he believes in. To wit, in this instance, threatening to walk the picket lines alongside locked-out hotel staffers in an attempt to bring the hotel cabal to a resolution of the labor dispute.
But what really grabs the Confidence Man's attention is the gratuitous and irrational lefty bombast by the American Anthropological Association President Elizabeth Brumfiel: "anthropologists cannot, in all good conscience, meet in facilities whose owners are using the lockout of low-wage workers as a bargaining tactic."
If Prof. Blumfiel was truly on the side of the workers, she would best be advised to come up with something a little more snappy by way of a rallying cry: the Confidence Man suggests "Anthropologists cannot be Apologists!"
Dept. of Irony, Blatant Visual Representations Division
Via Daily Kos, the Confidence Man gets a hearty chuckle out of this picture of Addled Cane-Break Solonic Candidate Jim Bunning, campaigning from his disadvantaged position.
Jibbenainosay, you have yet to weigh in on the Bunning "situation." What say ye?
Jibbenainosay, you have yet to weigh in on the Bunning "situation." What say ye?
Un CNN Andalus
http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/10/25/bush.cousins.ap/index.html
Oddly, or perhaps now characteristically, this story does not contain a link to the site that is its object. I'm not sure what this means--is it policy? Perhaps the Confidence Man can find out. But it's bizarre to see, probably under the banner of "impartiality," a journalistic venue shut itself off as an access point to news itself.
Bush cousins launch pro-Kerry Web site
Monday, October 25, 2004 Posted:
9:42 PM EDT (0142 GMT)
BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- There goes the invitation to the Texas
ranch.
Seven distant relatives of President Bush have created a Web site
urging visitors: "Please, don't vote for our cousin."
Oddly, or perhaps now characteristically, this story does not contain a link to the site that is its object. I'm not sure what this means--is it policy? Perhaps the Confidence Man can find out. But it's bizarre to see, probably under the banner of "impartiality," a journalistic venue shut itself off as an access point to news itself.
October 25, 2004
October 22, 2004
Wolves, Lower
The Confidence Man has seen the Bush-Cheney campaign's latest ad, "Wolves."
The Confidence Man has also read most of the prominent lefty blogs' dismissive takes on the ad (Atrios, TPM, Pandagon, et alia), as well as steady Fred Kaplan's no-nonsense fact-check of the ad at Slate.
And while those opinions are not exactly wrong, they entirely miss the point of the ad.
(They also miss the fact that this ad is designed specifically to counter Bush's "tax gap" blunder from the second debate, wherein Bush clumsily allowed Kerry to score points on Bush's underfunding of common-sense "boots-on-the-ground" Heimatsicherheit.)
This ad is, yes, explicitly about terrorism.
But the implicit content is about "environmentalism" -- which is also to say, "Liberalism."
Note the Confidence Man's use of scare quotes: neither concept is attacked in the sense of its reality-based essence, but in the sense of its rhetorical status among Bush's electoral base.
Here's the question no one is asking: Why wolves?
The conventional-wisdom assumption is that this ad is in the tradition of Reagan's "Bear in the Woods" ad from 1984. And, again, superficially, this fits.
But why wolves, specifically?
"Wolves" are nearly as inflammatory a political rhetorical trope as "abortion" or "gay marriage" -- with similar Red Stae/Blue State divergence of opinion, but without the "polarizing national debate" denotations in the mass media.
To wax Brooksian:
"Wolves" to a stereotypical Blue Stater are a symbol of a vanishing and threatened Wilderness, a Wilderness that can, through scientific study, government funding, and conservation efforts, be nursed back to health and protected.
"Wolves" to a stereotypical Red Stater are symbolic Predators and Scavengers, a metaphor for government hostility to small business and property rights, Socialist Levelling through attacks on property rights, and eggheaded chilly secularism outweighing practical human concerns.
So, what we have here is an ad that is designed more to mobilize and enrage the conservative base, especially in the Southwest and Upper Midwest, than it is to appeal to swing voters.
Bush and Rove aren't trying, per se, to scare voters here, whether those voters are already scared, merely nervous, or inured to the Ridge-Ashcroft-Cheney Terra! Terra! Terra! attack. Rather, they're trying to solidify support of voters already leaning toward Bush on defense/terror issues by engaging their anger on a seemingly unrelated issue entirely.
And on that count, we have Confidence that the ad will do its job.
...
Speaking of "environmentalism," no one seems to be taking the bait on the Confidence Man's thesis that Bush's use of the term "steward of the environment" is Top Sekrit Fundie Windtalker-Speak for "property rights uber alles." It seems patently obvious to us; then again, we have Confidence.
...
Also speaking of "environmentalism," the Confidence Man is stumped as to why Kerry is not making that more of a campaign issue. Yes, Bush's biggest obvious blunder is Iraq and his failure to successfully prosecute the WoT; and yes, "it's the economy, stupid." Bush's environmental record, though, is horrifying. It's a huge weakness for Bush -- even among "sportsmen's associations," who recognize that they don't want to be standing in hip waders in a duck blind in a marsh that's teeming with arsenic.
...
And finally, a bright shiny penny to anyone who gets the title reference.
The Confidence Man has also read most of the prominent lefty blogs' dismissive takes on the ad (Atrios, TPM, Pandagon, et alia), as well as steady Fred Kaplan's no-nonsense fact-check of the ad at Slate.
And while those opinions are not exactly wrong, they entirely miss the point of the ad.
(They also miss the fact that this ad is designed specifically to counter Bush's "tax gap" blunder from the second debate, wherein Bush clumsily allowed Kerry to score points on Bush's underfunding of common-sense "boots-on-the-ground" Heimatsicherheit.)
This ad is, yes, explicitly about terrorism.
But the implicit content is about "environmentalism" -- which is also to say, "Liberalism."
Note the Confidence Man's use of scare quotes: neither concept is attacked in the sense of its reality-based essence, but in the sense of its rhetorical status among Bush's electoral base.
Here's the question no one is asking: Why wolves?
The conventional-wisdom assumption is that this ad is in the tradition of Reagan's "Bear in the Woods" ad from 1984. And, again, superficially, this fits.
But why wolves, specifically?
"Wolves" are nearly as inflammatory a political rhetorical trope as "abortion" or "gay marriage" -- with similar Red Stae/Blue State divergence of opinion, but without the "polarizing national debate" denotations in the mass media.
To wax Brooksian:
"Wolves" to a stereotypical Blue Stater are a symbol of a vanishing and threatened Wilderness, a Wilderness that can, through scientific study, government funding, and conservation efforts, be nursed back to health and protected.
"Wolves" to a stereotypical Red Stater are symbolic Predators and Scavengers, a metaphor for government hostility to small business and property rights, Socialist Levelling through attacks on property rights, and eggheaded chilly secularism outweighing practical human concerns.
So, what we have here is an ad that is designed more to mobilize and enrage the conservative base, especially in the Southwest and Upper Midwest, than it is to appeal to swing voters.
Bush and Rove aren't trying, per se, to scare voters here, whether those voters are already scared, merely nervous, or inured to the Ridge-Ashcroft-Cheney Terra! Terra! Terra! attack. Rather, they're trying to solidify support of voters already leaning toward Bush on defense/terror issues by engaging their anger on a seemingly unrelated issue entirely.
And on that count, we have Confidence that the ad will do its job.
...
Speaking of "environmentalism," no one seems to be taking the bait on the Confidence Man's thesis that Bush's use of the term "steward of the environment" is Top Sekrit Fundie Windtalker-Speak for "property rights uber alles." It seems patently obvious to us; then again, we have Confidence.
...
Also speaking of "environmentalism," the Confidence Man is stumped as to why Kerry is not making that more of a campaign issue. Yes, Bush's biggest obvious blunder is Iraq and his failure to successfully prosecute the WoT; and yes, "it's the economy, stupid." Bush's environmental record, though, is horrifying. It's a huge weakness for Bush -- even among "sportsmen's associations," who recognize that they don't want to be standing in hip waders in a duck blind in a marsh that's teeming with arsenic.
...
And finally, a bright shiny penny to anyone who gets the title reference.
October 20, 2004
The Far-Flung and Burgeoning Reality-Based Community
... or, should we say, "The Coalition of the Reality-Based"?
The Confidence Man, agape, reads this story this morning:
Iraqi militants who kidnapped and threatened to kill an Australian journalist "Googled" his name on the internet to check his work before releasing him unharmed.
Aside from the sheer delightfulness of the reporter being released unharmed, and the "news of the weird" factor, this story is significant on two levels:
The Confidence Man, agape, reads this story this morning:
Iraqi militants who kidnapped and threatened to kill an Australian journalist "Googled" his name on the internet to check his work before releasing him unharmed.
Aside from the sheer delightfulness of the reporter being released unharmed, and the "news of the weird" factor, this story is significant on two levels:
- It demonstrates the positive forward march of Modernism, even in Iraq, and despite the best efforts of both the Islamic and Christian Fundamentalists who would oppose such forward progress.
- It also demonstrates that the Iraqi insurgents are indeed members of the Reality-Based Community (membership in which, of course, is predicated upon the embrace of Modenrism) and therefore enjoy a distinct tactical advantage over the Bush administration.
October 18, 2004
The O'Reilly-Based Community
The Confidence Man is, like so many other right-minded individuals, tickled pink by the sexual harassment lawsuit against professional schizophrenic hobo Bill O'Reilly.
And, as usual, James Wolcott is right on the squirrel with his commentary on the tawdry affair.
However, the Confidence Man must object to Wolcott's closing imagery: we don't even want to think about the possibility of O'Reilly "emerg[ing] bigger than ever."
And, as usual, James Wolcott is right on the squirrel with his commentary on the tawdry affair.
However, the Confidence Man must object to Wolcott's closing imagery: we don't even want to think about the possibility of O'Reilly "emerg[ing] bigger than ever."
Mutiny on the Tigris
The Confidence Man has been peripherally following the story of the 17 U.S. soldiers in Iraq who refused an order to go on a virtual suicide mission delivering tainted gasoline through a combat zone in unarmored trucks.
Now, the AP is reporting that the U.S. military is denying that the gas was contaminated with diesel fuel; however, many of the stateside relatives of the 17 soldiers independently reported that the soldiers, in calls home after/during the incident, made the tainted-gas claim.
Leaving aside the questions being raised regarding adequate armor, vehicle maintenance, and troop support, the Confidence Man wants to know answers to the following obvious questions:
Now, the AP is reporting that the U.S. military is denying that the gas was contaminated with diesel fuel; however, many of the stateside relatives of the 17 soldiers independently reported that the soldiers, in calls home after/during the incident, made the tainted-gas claim.
Leaving aside the questions being raised regarding adequate armor, vehicle maintenance, and troop support, the Confidence Man wants to know answers to the following obvious questions:
- How did the gasoline get contaminated, if it in fact was? Did the contamination happen when being handled by the transport soldiers, other logistical troops, or by petrochem-services NGO contractors? If it was contaminated inadvertently by the troops, had they been properlytrained?
- Why were the soldiers being asked to deliver fuel that was (a) contaminated and (b) had already been rejected by another unit as unusable?
- And, most importantly, Iraq is lousy with NGO contractors -- the petrochem sector and the U.S. military's logistics and supply chains in particular; why, then, are troops being used to deliver oil? Isn't this precisely the sort of task that Rumsfeld has been so eager to "privatize"?
Call It a Kerfuffle
Of all the potential phrases that one might use to describe "the Republican furor in response to John Kerry's invocation of the Vice President's daughter's sexuality," this is perhaps the most inadvertently ugly and misogynist.
October 17, 2004
The Reality-Based Community
Ron Suskind has a profile of George W. Bush in today's NYT Magazine.
This profile, focusing on the decision-making style that originates in Bush's "faith" and "instincts," would be alarming and astonishing -- if it weren't so entirely unsurprising.
(It would also qualify as brave and iconoclastic journalism -- if it had been published in, say, 2001 or 2002. Or, hell, for that matter, anytime this year prior to the GOP Convention. This is in no way intended to smear Suskind, who is an outstanding journalist. No, the smear is of the NYT and the entire fucking mass media, who willingly went along with the Bush Character Crusade.)
In this profile, an anonymous White House aide (the Confidence Man's money is on Scooter Libby as the unnamed source) tells Suskind that:
... guys like [Suskind] were ''in what we call the reality-based community,'' which he defined as people who ''believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.'' I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. ''That's not the way the world really works anymore,'' he continued. ''We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors ... and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.''
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! "The REALITY-BASED COMMUNITY"! These people are INSANE! They're fucking BATSHIT-CRAZY!
This-explains-EVERYTHING.
The Errorism.
The Antistate.
Everything.
(And, for this to be published within a week of Jacques Derrida's death? Priceless.)
Anyway, there's far too much juicy detail in the article to digest at once, and the Confidence Man feels a fit of high dudgeon coming on (yes, the profane spluttering above is merely the Confidence Man on medium dudgeon), so we will leave you with this inexplicable bit:
In the Oval Office in December 2002, the president met with a few
ranking senators and members of the House, both Republicans and
Democrats. In those days, there were high hopes that the United
States-sponsored ''road map'' for the Israelis and Palestinians would be
a pathway to peace, and the discussion that wintry day was, in part,
about countries providing peacekeeping forces in the region. The
problem, everyone agreed, was that a number of European countries, like
France and Germany, had armies that were not trusted by either the
Israelis or Palestinians. One congressman -- the Hungarian-born Tom
Lantos, a Democrat from California and the only Holocaust survivor in
Congress -- mentioned that the Scandinavian countries were viewed more
positively. Lantos went on to describe for the president how the Swedish
Army might be an ideal candidate to anchor a small peacekeeping force on
the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Sweden has a well-trained force of
about 25,000. The president looked at him appraisingly, several people
in the room recall.
''I don't know why you're talking about Sweden,'' Bush said. ''They're
the neutral one. They don't have an army.''
Lantos paused, a little shocked, and offered a gentlemanly reply: ''Mr.
President, you may have thought that I said Switzerland. They're the
ones that are historically neutral, without an army.'' Then Lantos
mentioned, in a gracious aside, that the Swiss do have a tough national
guard to protect the country in the event of invasion.
Bush held to his view. ''No, no, it's Sweden that has no army.''
The room went silent, until someone changed the subject.
A few weeks later, members of Congress and their spouses gathered with
administration officials and other dignitaries for the White House
Christmas party. The president saw Lantos and grabbed him by the
shoulder. ''You were right,'' he said, with bonhomie. ''Sweden does have
an army.''
Silly George! Didn't Karl teach you about the historical duplicity of the Swedes?
This profile, focusing on the decision-making style that originates in Bush's "faith" and "instincts," would be alarming and astonishing -- if it weren't so entirely unsurprising.
(It would also qualify as brave and iconoclastic journalism -- if it had been published in, say, 2001 or 2002. Or, hell, for that matter, anytime this year prior to the GOP Convention. This is in no way intended to smear Suskind, who is an outstanding journalist. No, the smear is of the NYT and the entire fucking mass media, who willingly went along with the Bush Character Crusade.)
In this profile, an anonymous White House aide (the Confidence Man's money is on Scooter Libby as the unnamed source) tells Suskind that:
... guys like [Suskind] were ''in what we call the reality-based community,'' which he defined as people who ''believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.'' I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. ''That's not the way the world really works anymore,'' he continued. ''We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality -- judiciously, as you will -- we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors ... and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.''
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! "The REALITY-BASED COMMUNITY"! These people are INSANE! They're fucking BATSHIT-CRAZY!
This-explains-EVERYTHING.
The Errorism.
The Antistate.
Everything.
(And, for this to be published within a week of Jacques Derrida's death? Priceless.)
Anyway, there's far too much juicy detail in the article to digest at once, and the Confidence Man feels a fit of high dudgeon coming on (yes, the profane spluttering above is merely the Confidence Man on medium dudgeon), so we will leave you with this inexplicable bit:
In the Oval Office in December 2002, the president met with a few
ranking senators and members of the House, both Republicans and
Democrats. In those days, there were high hopes that the United
States-sponsored ''road map'' for the Israelis and Palestinians would be
a pathway to peace, and the discussion that wintry day was, in part,
about countries providing peacekeeping forces in the region. The
problem, everyone agreed, was that a number of European countries, like
France and Germany, had armies that were not trusted by either the
Israelis or Palestinians. One congressman -- the Hungarian-born Tom
Lantos, a Democrat from California and the only Holocaust survivor in
Congress -- mentioned that the Scandinavian countries were viewed more
positively. Lantos went on to describe for the president how the Swedish
Army might be an ideal candidate to anchor a small peacekeeping force on
the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Sweden has a well-trained force of
about 25,000. The president looked at him appraisingly, several people
in the room recall.
''I don't know why you're talking about Sweden,'' Bush said. ''They're
the neutral one. They don't have an army.''
Lantos paused, a little shocked, and offered a gentlemanly reply: ''Mr.
President, you may have thought that I said Switzerland. They're the
ones that are historically neutral, without an army.'' Then Lantos
mentioned, in a gracious aside, that the Swiss do have a tough national
guard to protect the country in the event of invasion.
Bush held to his view. ''No, no, it's Sweden that has no army.''
The room went silent, until someone changed the subject.
A few weeks later, members of Congress and their spouses gathered with
administration officials and other dignitaries for the White House
Christmas party. The president saw Lantos and grabbed him by the
shoulder. ''You were right,'' he said, with bonhomie. ''Sweden does have
an army.''
Silly George! Didn't Karl teach you about the historical duplicity of the Swedes?
The Antistate
For Want of a Powerpoint Slide ...
... or, "This Would Explain the Looting of the Iraqi Humour Ministry" ...
Apparently, in March of last year, Dan Radosh, having only recently been freed from Dick Cheney's Secure, Undisclosed Location, was facing simultaneous deadlines on assignment from Playboy, the New Yorker, Slate, and the U.S. Department of Defense.
Guess which assignment Dan decided to let slide?
In March 2003, days before the start of the U.S.-led
invasion of Iraq, American war planners and intelligence officials met
at Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina to review the Bush
administration's plans to oust Saddam Hussein and implant democracy in Iraq.
Near the end of his presentation, an Army lieutenant colonel who was
giving a briefing showed a slide describing the Pentagon's plans for
rebuilding Iraq after the war, known in the planners' parlance as Phase
4-C. He was uncomfortable with his material - and for good reason.
The slide said: "To Be Provided."
Damn freelancers! We should have known Rumsfeld's new, outsourced military would have consequences!
...
In all seriousness, that Knight-Ridder article is a must-read, especially for folks with extremely low blood pressure. The Confidence Man will have a more somber post up shortly regarding that whole debaqle.
Apparently, in March of last year, Dan Radosh, having only recently been freed from Dick Cheney's Secure, Undisclosed Location, was facing simultaneous deadlines on assignment from Playboy, the New Yorker, Slate, and the U.S. Department of Defense.
Guess which assignment Dan decided to let slide?
In March 2003, days before the start of the U.S.-led
invasion of Iraq, American war planners and intelligence officials met
at Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina to review the Bush
administration's plans to oust Saddam Hussein and implant democracy in Iraq.
Near the end of his presentation, an Army lieutenant colonel who was
giving a briefing showed a slide describing the Pentagon's plans for
rebuilding Iraq after the war, known in the planners' parlance as Phase
4-C. He was uncomfortable with his material - and for good reason.
The slide said: "To Be Provided."
Damn freelancers! We should have known Rumsfeld's new, outsourced military would have consequences!
...
In all seriousness, that Knight-Ridder article is a must-read, especially for folks with extremely low blood pressure. The Confidence Man will have a more somber post up shortly regarding that whole debaqle.
October 16, 2004
God Bless Jon Stewart
This transcript of Jon Stewart on Crossfire is truly priceless. You can almost smell Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala sweating.
It really is a shameful situation when a self-professed "fake newsman" has to lecture "real" newsmen on journalistic principles.
(Of course, the Confidence Man realizes the subtlety of Stewart's more trenchant point: that Carlson and Begala are entertainers no less than Stewart himself is. And that's what really upset them.)
It really is a shameful situation when a self-professed "fake newsman" has to lecture "real" newsmen on journalistic principles.
(Of course, the Confidence Man realizes the subtlety of Stewart's more trenchant point: that Carlson and Begala are entertainers no less than Stewart himself is. And that's what really upset them.)
October 14, 2004
A noiseless, patient terrorist
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/europe/10/13/spider.fear.ap/index.html
Ducking the hackneyed shot (that the Brits are lying about their fear of dentistry, which is obviously much higher), Jibbenainosay can only say about this that the enemies of Britain (and U.S. filmmakers) have just been handed an inexpensive strategy on a silver platter.Poll: Britons fear spiders more than terrorism
Wednesday, October 13, 2004 Posted: 2:20 PM EDT (1820 GMT)
LONDON (AP) -- Spiders are more scary than terrorists -- at least
according to a survey of a thousand Britons.
Household creepy crawlies frighten Britons more than terrorist attacks, or even death, the survey released Monday found. [...]
"It's not surprising that terrorist attacks came only second to creepy crawlies," said psychologist Donna Dawson. "This is because fear of small creatures that scuttle about on four or more legs is a much more ancient, primordial fear, going straight back to caveman days."
For Britons, a visit to the dentist came in sixth place....
October 13, 2004
President Kai-Tangata!
The Confidence Man sees that the Internets are rife with speculation about the mental state of pResident Smirky McCrankypants, due to:
We do have our own pet theory.
Consider:
Yes, Bush has been eating prion-infested brains.
The GOP has undertaken an extensive campaign of human sacrifice and ancestor-engorgement in order to solidify its hold on power. Reagan was ritually murdered, and then his brains and entrails devoured by the faithful.
- his performance at the two debates thus far
- the rumored earpiece-and-wire
- Juan Cole also reminds us, regarding the "Bush-can't-speak-on-his-own-and-needs-a-wire" meme, of Bush's refusal to appear solo before the 9/11 Commission
- circulating videos comparing Bush's verbal performance during the Texas Gubernatorial race in '94 with his recent "statements"
- Bush's history of alcohol and cocaine abuse
- his deferral of taking his annual physical (usually around his birthday in August) until after the election
- the "diagnosis" offered by a doctor in a letter to a magazine that Bush is suffering from presenile dementia
We do have our own pet theory.
Consider:
- all of the above incidents and allegations regarding Bush
- the recent demented demeanor of Jibbenainosay's cane-break cousin, solon Jim Bunning
- the general loopiness, inconsistency, and madness of the GOP
- the astonishing rise to absolute and partisan power by the GOP
- the long senescent mental twilight of Ronald Reagan
- the recent passing of Reagan, and his beatification by the GOP
Yes, Bush has been eating prion-infested brains.
The GOP has undertaken an extensive campaign of human sacrifice and ancestor-engorgement in order to solidify its hold on power. Reagan was ritually murdered, and then his brains and entrails devoured by the faithful.
October 10, 2004
The Dubya Code
... or, "Steward's Folly" ...
Oh, we should have know better.
But no, the Confidence Man, smug in his cosmopolitan, secular-humanist aspect, misread the situation entirely.
We said, once upon a time, that Bush's use of the term "steward" in regard to his role in despoiling the environment was merely silly and aggravating.
But when Bush conspicuously used the term again in the same context in the second debate, we realized that perhaps there was something more to it.
As with Bush's deployment of "Dred Scott" as a placeholder for "Roe v. Wade," his use of "steward" in relation to "the environment" is as a precise code word to his base of fundamentalist free-market zealots.
In this context, "steward" means specifically that Bush will allow property rights in all instances to trump environmental concerns.
Check out a representative explication of Biblical "stewardship" of the environment:
Man's relationship to the world is that of a steward, not that of an owner. ... This basic perspective - that the creation serves man, but that man is bound to use the creation as a steward - is filled out in detail throughout Scripture. ... private property is basic to a Biblical view of economics ... Private property rights set up boundaries that stewards have an interest in guarding. Without property rights, there are no boundaries to guard, and environmental catastrophes are more likely.
Oh, we should have know better.
But no, the Confidence Man, smug in his cosmopolitan, secular-humanist aspect, misread the situation entirely.
We said, once upon a time, that Bush's use of the term "steward" in regard to his role in despoiling the environment was merely silly and aggravating.
But when Bush conspicuously used the term again in the same context in the second debate, we realized that perhaps there was something more to it.
As with Bush's deployment of "Dred Scott" as a placeholder for "Roe v. Wade," his use of "steward" in relation to "the environment" is as a precise code word to his base of fundamentalist free-market zealots.
In this context, "steward" means specifically that Bush will allow property rights in all instances to trump environmental concerns.
Check out a representative explication of Biblical "stewardship" of the environment:
Man's relationship to the world is that of a steward, not that of an owner. ... This basic perspective - that the creation serves man, but that man is bound to use the creation as a steward - is filled out in detail throughout Scripture. ... private property is basic to a Biblical view of economics ... Private property rights set up boundaries that stewards have an interest in guarding. Without property rights, there are no boundaries to guard, and environmental catastrophes are more likely.
Where Were You in '63?
Alright, this is really delving into minutiae here, but it's an irresistible confluence of effluvia.
The Confidence Man reads in this morning's SF Chron a couple of articles upon the 40th anniversary of Mario Savio's speech which ignited the Free Speech Movement at UC Berkeley.
One of the articles is a fairly comprehensive bio of Savio.
This biosketch points to Savio's support of the Civil Right Movement, which was supported and replicated in San Francisco in 1963:
Some students joined pickets of Bay Area businesses that refused to hire blacks, including Mel's Drive-Ins ...
Yes, that Mel's Drive-In.
The Confidence Man reads in this morning's SF Chron a couple of articles upon the 40th anniversary of Mario Savio's speech which ignited the Free Speech Movement at UC Berkeley.
One of the articles is a fairly comprehensive bio of Savio.
This biosketch points to Savio's support of the Civil Right Movement, which was supported and replicated in San Francisco in 1963:
Some students joined pickets of Bay Area businesses that refused to hire blacks, including Mel's Drive-Ins ...
Yes, that Mel's Drive-In.
Lebanese and Snowmobile Riders
This article is chock full of "Price, you're priceless" moments.
What strikes the Confidence Man, however, is the obvious conclusion that this group was perhaps initially placated most by the fact that many of its members received government appointments.
What strikes the Confidence Man, however, is the obvious conclusion that this group was perhaps initially placated most by the fact that many of its members received government appointments.
October 09, 2004
Dr. Eggstone, I Presume?
This is simply hilarious.
The Confidence Man's suggestion is that the town of Livermore should have "artistically" misspelled Ms. Alquilar's name on the check.
The Confidence Man's suggestion is that the town of Livermore should have "artistically" misspelled Ms. Alquilar's name on the check.
Derrida Est Mort! Vive Derrida!
The Confidence Man observes a moment of silence in respect to the passing of Jacques Derrida.
October 07, 2004
He Really Is Heartless, Isn't He?
The Confidence Man generally tries to keep Mushy Humanist Sentiment off of Croatan, but this one was too much to resist.
The Confidence Man was struck by one moment in particular during the Vice Presidential Debate the other night.
When Gwen Ifill stunned both candidates with her AIDS-among-African-American-women question, Dick Cheney's framing of his response was especially galling.
Shifting his response to the international realm, Cheney said that "In some parts of the world, we've got the entire, sort of, productive generation has been eliminated as a result of AIDS, all except for old folks and kids -- nobody to do the basic work that runs an economy."
Nobody to do the basic work that runs an economy?
Jesus. Cheney really just isn't human, is he?
And, of course, what a perfectly awful response from a campaigner's perspective.
The Confidence Man was struck by one moment in particular during the Vice Presidential Debate the other night.
When Gwen Ifill stunned both candidates with her AIDS-among-African-American-women question, Dick Cheney's framing of his response was especially galling.
Shifting his response to the international realm, Cheney said that "In some parts of the world, we've got the entire, sort of, productive generation has been eliminated as a result of AIDS, all except for old folks and kids -- nobody to do the basic work that runs an economy."
Nobody to do the basic work that runs an economy?
Jesus. Cheney really just isn't human, is he?
And, of course, what a perfectly awful response from a campaigner's perspective.
"There Are a Hell of a Lot More Cons Than There Are Pros"
M-hm.
That's an alleged quote from Paul "Jerry" Bremer's predecessor Jay Garner, from May '03, on the question of whether to disband the Ba'athist Iraqi army. Bremer was under pressure from the White House to disband the army, pressure to which he eventually acceded.
The Confidence Man thinks that the Garner quote is also an extremely apt description of the Bush Administration: a hell of a lot more con(servative)s than there are pro(fessional)s.
That's an alleged quote from Paul "Jerry" Bremer's predecessor Jay Garner, from May '03, on the question of whether to disband the Ba'athist Iraqi army. Bremer was under pressure from the White House to disband the army, pressure to which he eventually acceded.
The Confidence Man thinks that the Garner quote is also an extremely apt description of the Bush Administration: a hell of a lot more con(servative)s than there are pro(fessional)s.
October 06, 2004
Former Illusionists
The Galvanic Energy-Source of Puritan Tradition
Um. Yes, that's a direct quotation.
Nice idea, but ineptly executed.
Jibbenainosay, I'm certain you could do better than that poltroon.
Nice idea, but ineptly executed.
Jibbenainosay, I'm certain you could do better than that poltroon.
"Deaths? What deaths?"
October 05, 2004
It's Alive!
"Cheney a lightning rod" -- so that's how they keep his heart going!
The Confidence Man also reads in the same article that Cheney is a "dark architect." Hm. Perhaps that means that Cheney is the one responsible for the new Museum of the American Indian?
The Confidence Man also reads in the same article that Cheney is a "dark architect." Hm. Perhaps that means that Cheney is the one responsible for the new Museum of the American Indian?
October 03, 2004
Deep What? No. 2
Deep What? No. 1
Hm. Is Jibbenainosay referring to this "Jon Ruybalid"?
Methinks there's something funny afoot with this-here expedition-reenactment.
Methinks there's something funny afoot with this-here expedition-reenactment.
Deep Thoughts
In response to one of Confidence Man's earlier posts, I want to follow up what appears to be a recent grammatical development. In the story on Kenneth Starr becoming a lawyer for the New York Times to defend them in a First Amendment case, one reads:
There may be a common genealogy to this nouning of "think," but it has some disturbing implications. To say not that Starr is a deep thinker but that he is a deep think guy, and to say that we are not going to think big in our attempts to move the University into its next evolutionary stage but instead we are going to come up with (what everyone else will presumably recognize as) a big think seems to me to outsource thinking to somewhere. I'm not sure where.
Mr. Starr makes an "interesting" but natural choice for the case, said TomNow this phrase "deep think" I've heard in a slightly different form from my Vice-Provost of Interdisciplinary Studies. She gets groups of faculty together to put together what she terms "Big Think" projects.
Goldstein, a lawyer in Washington who specializes in litigating before the
Supreme Court. He called Mr. Starr "a deep think kind of guy...."
There may be a common genealogy to this nouning of "think," but it has some disturbing implications. To say not that Starr is a deep thinker but that he is a deep think guy, and to say that we are not going to think big in our attempts to move the University into its next evolutionary stage but instead we are going to come up with (what everyone else will presumably recognize as) a big think seems to me to outsource thinking to somewhere. I'm not sure where.
Fire in the Sky
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/10/02/mount.st.helens/index.html
I don't know what, exactly, Washington did to deserve the latest natural disaster intended by Divine Providence for the punishment of our electoral sins. Possibly the Almighty became confused about the whole Washington State/Washington D.C. thing.
USGS: Mount St. Helens could erupt within 24 hours
Observatory 3 miles from volcano's base evacuated
Saturday, October 2, 2004 Posted: 8:14 PM EDT
(0014 GMT)
VANCOUVER, Washington (CNN) -- Scientists warn that Mount St. Helens could erupt within 24 hours, and with more force than previously expected.
I don't know what, exactly, Washington did to deserve the latest natural disaster intended by Divine Providence for the punishment of our electoral sins. Possibly the Almighty became confused about the whole Washington State/Washington D.C. thing.
October 01, 2004
Spin, Pre- and Post-Debate
In the lead-up to last night's initial 2004 Presidential Debate, the mainstream press and the bloggers (R and L) both focused on two, somewhat interrelated, structural elements:
Much like the evident calamity that Operation Oedipus has engendered in Iraq.
Much like the Lysenko Administration's rejection of rational polity and the scientific method.
Might this be Rove's methodology finally catching up to him?
- Which side would succeed in "lowering expectations" for their own candidate (and, contrapositively, raising expectations for their opponent)
- The arcane and Byzantine ground rules for the debate, which would in any instance supposedly render the debate a sort of twin-alternating-press-conferences
- The Bush campaign team was actually at odds with itself in the lead-up to the debate: that is, the Bush team's raised-expectations/prosecuting-attorney/raised-his-whole-life-to-debate Kerry was conceptually incompatible with the Bush team's general-campaign-stump-speech/Flip-Flop Kerry. The Bush team, it seems, was gambling that the latter Kerry would show up. What they got was the former. Of course, they may not have even realized the incompatibility of these two conceptual Kerrys: witness Bush's stump speech remark this week that Master Debater Kerry "could probably spend 90 minutes debating himself." Basically, anyone who had only a glancing familiarity with the headlines, and/or who had been exposed to anti-Kerry attack ads and media coverage thereof, would not have recognized the "Debate Kerry" on stage last night.
- The Bush team may have outsmarted itself with their focus on and "winning of" the debate groundrules: they actually believed that what would have transpired last night would actually have been twin alternating press conferences. In fact, as many media and political analysts have been pointing out this morning, what we got actually did resemble an honest-to-gosh "debate." And that is precisely why Bush was alternately lost/stumbling and fuming/persnickety last night. The issue of Bush having been "cocooned" has been discussed a lot in the left commentariat the last month or so. The loyalty oaths at his campaign stops, the lack of press conferences, the inability to confront the actual situation on the ground in Iraq, the insulation by staffers, etc. And that surely played into Bush's surprise and irksomeness last night at being questioned directly by Kerry on his veracity and leadership. But the Confidence Man suspects that Bush's anger was less at Kerry per se than at Rove and his staff. Bush was obviously un- and underprepared for the structure of last night's debate as it actually transpired. That is the fault of Rove and the campaign staff -- and they may well have un- and underprepared their boss because they mistakenly assumed that they had won the strategic structural battle over the debate format.
Much like the evident calamity that Operation Oedipus has engendered in Iraq.
Much like the Lysenko Administration's rejection of rational polity and the scientific method.
Might this be Rove's methodology finally catching up to him?
September 30, 2004
September 29, 2004
Survivance
Slate's Tim Noah weighs in on the new National Museum of the American Indian, and the Confidence Man encounters an unfamiliar PC neologism: "survivance."
In this light, the Confidence Man would like to insist that henceforth, when baseball announcers refer to batters who recently been called out on strikes, that they call them "strikeout survivors" rather than "strikeout victims."
In this light, the Confidence Man would like to insist that henceforth, when baseball announcers refer to batters who recently been called out on strikes, that they call them "strikeout survivors" rather than "strikeout victims."
Our National Pastime
The Confidence Man notes with some regret that his prediction regarding the ultimate fate of the Montreal Expos has not come to pass.
No, the forlorn Expos will be relocated to Our Nation's Capital. And the search is one for a new team nickname.
The Confidence Man has a suggestion, one that is in accord with:
No, the forlorn Expos will be relocated to Our Nation's Capital. And the search is one for a new team nickname.
The Confidence Man has a suggestion, one that is in accord with:
- the trend in other professional sports toward abstract nouns as team names
- the recent history of the Expos
- the demographics of the denizens of the new host town
- electoral trends under the current pResident
US Secretary of Defense Jean-Baptiste Lamarck
Apparently the latest Pentagonese neologism for "buy it before it works" is "evolutionary acquisition." The Confidence Man thinks perhaps he shall try to sell the Pentagon his patented simple lever and inclined plane.
The other term the brass uses, if you can believe it, is "spiral development." Careful, boys, those screws turn both ways (get it? "screw"? "simple lever"? "inclined plane"?).
I wonder what Secretary of State Gregor Mendel thinks about this plan. Actually, since Mendel is out of the loop in the Lysenko Administration, it probably doesn't matter ...
And while we're on the subject, the SF Chron ran an inexcusably boosterish (get it? "booster"?) pro-SDI article a couple of weeks ago ... in the Business section. Oy. Can you say "Space Pork"?
The other term the brass uses, if you can believe it, is "spiral development." Careful, boys, those screws turn both ways (get it? "screw"? "simple lever"? "inclined plane"?).
I wonder what Secretary of State Gregor Mendel thinks about this plan. Actually, since Mendel is out of the loop in the Lysenko Administration, it probably doesn't matter ...
And while we're on the subject, the SF Chron ran an inexcusably boosterish (get it? "booster"?) pro-SDI article a couple of weeks ago ... in the Business section. Oy. Can you say "Space Pork"?
Extraordinary Rendition
Funny, the Confidence Man always thought that this was the unspeakable horror to which the phrase "extraordinary rendition" referred.
Guess I was wrong.
Guess I was wrong.
September 28, 2004
"Wildly Unconnected to Reality"
Wowza.
Via the indispensable Laura Rozen's War and Piece, the Confidence Man reads this profile of "the stupidest fucking guy on the face of the Earth," Doug Feith.
That Feith, the single individual with the greatest responsibility for planning the post-war occupation of Iraq, has the ... gall? chutzpah? irony? ... to describe his own detractors' views of Feith's power as "wildly unconnected to reality" is ... well, quite frankly, stunning.
A true "Price, you're priceless" moment.
Via the indispensable Laura Rozen's War and Piece, the Confidence Man reads this profile of "the stupidest fucking guy on the face of the Earth," Doug Feith.
That Feith, the single individual with the greatest responsibility for planning the post-war occupation of Iraq, has the ... gall? chutzpah? irony? ... to describe his own detractors' views of Feith's power as "wildly unconnected to reality" is ... well, quite frankly, stunning.
A true "Price, you're priceless" moment.
Vacuous Demagoguery, or Idiots To My Left
Here in the Confidence Man's adopted hometown of Sodom-by-the-Bay, our city government has reached an agreement for a local commercial enterprise to "sponsor" the multipurpose concrete abutment surrounding the field upon which the Sodom-by-the-Bay Sourdough-Eaters play American "football."
Sodom-by-the-Bay being a contentious and parochial little town, several of the more recondite and unreconstructed Lefties on the Board of Supervisors have taken it upon themselves to champion a barricade against the Forces of Modernity. Supervisors Ammiano, Daly, Gonzalez, and Sandoval have offered up ballot Proposition H, which would not only allow city voters to reject the sponsorship deal (and with it the $3M to help support city parks), but also to:
send a signal that San Francisco remains on the front lines against the increased corporatization and commercialization of everyday life.
*Sigh.*
Folks, this Proposition H is sheer demagoguery, the leftie equivalent of the Defense of Marriage Amendment: a bad policy, based on blinkered ideological biases, reactionary and anti-modern, and proposed solely for the sake of gaining points with the solons' rabid political base.
Mayhaps the Confidence Man should just up and move to France.
Sodom-by-the-Bay being a contentious and parochial little town, several of the more recondite and unreconstructed Lefties on the Board of Supervisors have taken it upon themselves to champion a barricade against the Forces of Modernity. Supervisors Ammiano, Daly, Gonzalez, and Sandoval have offered up ballot Proposition H, which would not only allow city voters to reject the sponsorship deal (and with it the $3M to help support city parks), but also to:
send a signal that San Francisco remains on the front lines against the increased corporatization and commercialization of everyday life.
*Sigh.*
Folks, this Proposition H is sheer demagoguery, the leftie equivalent of the Defense of Marriage Amendment: a bad policy, based on blinkered ideological biases, reactionary and anti-modern, and proposed solely for the sake of gaining points with the solons' rabid political base.
Mayhaps the Confidence Man should just up and move to France.
September 26, 2004
A Community Is Its Institutions
This is fascinating for any number of reasons, but especially: "The town has all the characteristics of a contemporary American community."
The detail about "La estrella del norte" is very nice, too. Would be more brutally poetic if instead of a smelter, it were an incinerator.
And finally: just why did the government overbid by 60%? Is that an efficient use of our tax dollars?
The detail about "La estrella del norte" is very nice, too. Would be more brutally poetic if instead of a smelter, it were an incinerator.
And finally: just why did the government overbid by 60%? Is that an efficient use of our tax dollars?
September 24, 2004
Crossing the Streams
Combining the rich, nougaty filling of debates over the genocide of the Native North Americans with the thick, chocolatey enrobement of ironic, violent deaths of white-collar WASP professionals:
Indians scalp history teacher reenacting Lewis and Clark voyage.
Indians scalp history teacher reenacting Lewis and Clark voyage.
Department of Poetic Justice, Revisited
Jibbenainosay is, as ever, eagle-eyed.
However, the Confidence Man must rebuke him for neglecting his history. We have seen this sort of thing before.
The Case of the Frozen Sara Lee Executive is but one in a series. The Confidence Man takes this as evidence of his own rectitude, and anticipates yet more violently ironic executive deaths.
However, the Confidence Man must rebuke him for neglecting his history. We have seen this sort of thing before.
The Case of the Frozen Sara Lee Executive is but one in a series. The Confidence Man takes this as evidence of his own rectitude, and anticipates yet more violently ironic executive deaths.
The Vanishing Junk-Food CEO
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/09/24/missing.exec.ap/index.html
Bungled carjacking! Nonsense. Look at the m.o.: this man was clearly a victim of corporate assassination. My candidates: Stouffer's; NFRA; Eggo.
Body of missing Sara Lee executive found frozen
Friday, September 24, 2004 Posted: 1:05 AM EDT (0505 GMT)
SEVIERVILLE, Tennessee
(AP) -- A retired Sara Lee executive missing since he met with a couple about buying his sport utility vehicle was found dead Thursday, frozen in a rented storage unit. The couple was arrested in what federal authorities believe was a bungled carjacking.
Bungled carjacking! Nonsense. Look at the m.o.: this man was clearly a victim of corporate assassination. My candidates: Stouffer's; NFRA; Eggo.
September 22, 2004
The Vanishing Architect
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TRAVEL/09/21/indian.museum.ap/index.html
This is an interesting story that, like so many others covering Native issues, starts out as one thing and ends up as another. In this case, the suggestion seems to be that where "real" or cultural property was being stolen up until now (the other CNN story drools over the fact that the museum is "one of the last sections of prime real estate on Washington's greatest expanse" as if reparations had begun), we've entered "the beginning of a new era": now it's intellectual property that's being stolen by the U.S.
This is an interesting story that, like so many others covering Native issues, starts out as one thing and ends up as another. In this case, the suggestion seems to be that where "real" or cultural property was being stolen up until now (the other CNN story drools over the fact that the museum is "one of the last sections of prime real estate on Washington's greatest expanse" as if reparations had begun), we've entered "the beginning of a new era": now it's intellectual property that's being stolen by the U.S.
September 21, 2004
Put Mr. Novak's Pants Back On, Soldier!
Can we construe this to mean that active-duty soldiers can also no longer "patronize" right-wing political pundits, FOX News anchors, or Halliburton employees?
On a more serious note, this new draft regulation from the Pentagon would instill a lot more Confidence if we weren't still contracting with DynCorp.
On a more serious note, this new draft regulation from the Pentagon would instill a lot more Confidence if we weren't still contracting with DynCorp.
Living With Scorpions
The Confidence Man believes this AP story is wrong.
The world record holder for living with scorpions has to be this woman.
The world record holder for living with scorpions has to be this woman.
September 20, 2004
Crayfishin' in Texas
The Confidence Man finds another intriguing decontextualized nugget in the Austin Statesman article* on political demographic trends:
[Burleson (TX) County] Democrat and former family physician Joe Smith puts much of the blame [for the county flip-flopping to the GOP side of the ledger] on Bill Clinton. "When he got (sex) [sic; emphasis added] in the Oval Office, it just tore up things," the 83-year-old Smith said. "It chased everybody out of" the Democratic Party.
Now, about that parenthetical elision ... well, as the Confidence Man likes to say, ironies abound.
*Registration required: The Confidence Man relies on the generosity of his good pal Brock Chandler, whose email is seelabee at yahoo dot com and uses the password bertolucci.
[Burleson (TX) County] Democrat and former family physician Joe Smith puts much of the blame [for the county flip-flopping to the GOP side of the ledger] on Bill Clinton. "When he got (sex) [sic; emphasis added] in the Oval Office, it just tore up things," the 83-year-old Smith said. "It chased everybody out of" the Democratic Party.
Now, about that parenthetical elision ... well, as the Confidence Man likes to say, ironies abound.
*Registration required: The Confidence Man relies on the generosity of his good pal Brock Chandler, whose email is seelabee at yahoo dot com and uses the password bertolucci.
Inexplicably Zen Political Metaphor of the Year
Via Political Animal, in an otherwise straightforward and fascinating article from the Austin Statesman on political demographics, the Confidence Man reads this:
"We keep all the shrimp away from all the mussels," Republican strategist Bill Greener says of the nature of American politics. "We keep all the mussels away from the oysters. And we keep all the oysters away from all the lobsters."
Of course, if (to Texas Republicans, anyway), all American politics is shellfish, then that would explain why Jews and Muslims aren't welcome, eh?
"We keep all the shrimp away from all the mussels," Republican strategist Bill Greener says of the nature of American politics. "We keep all the mussels away from the oysters. And we keep all the oysters away from all the lobsters."
Of course, if (to Texas Republicans, anyway), all American politics is shellfish, then that would explain why Jews and Muslims aren't welcome, eh?
September 17, 2004
Ironies Abound
The Confidence Man reads in Wired (via Arts & Letters Daily) of the British epistemologist Gordon Rugg's thesis that something called "the Voynich manuscript" is an elaborate Renaissance forgery.
Now, the Confidence Man knows little of Rugg or this "Voynich manuscript"; but he does know that when an Italian science writer thinks that "the ideal Voynich expert - a code-breaking, medieval-savvy hoaxologist - probably [doesn't] exist," well ... then something fishy is afoot.
Hmmm ... a "code-breaking, medieval-savvy hoaxologist"? No, the Confidence Man can't think of any of those, either.
Now, the Confidence Man knows little of Rugg or this "Voynich manuscript"; but he does know that when an Italian science writer thinks that "the ideal Voynich expert - a code-breaking, medieval-savvy hoaxologist - probably [doesn't] exist," well ... then something fishy is afoot.
Hmmm ... a "code-breaking, medieval-savvy hoaxologist"? No, the Confidence Man can't think of any of those, either.
September 16, 2004
Point Conceded
This is certainly all the evidence the Confidence Man needs to acknowledge that God is indeed punishing Florida for its electoral transgressions.
Although, we must say, if on November 2nd of this year Florida is hit by the 23rd tropical storm of the season (which would begin with what letter?), that would really nail it down on the side of Divine Retribution.
Although, we must say, if on November 2nd of this year Florida is hit by the 23rd tropical storm of the season (which would begin with what letter?), that would really nail it down on the side of Divine Retribution.
Live by the generator...
Two Americans, Briton kidnapped
Thursday, September 16, 2004 Posted:
6:21 AM EDT (1021 GMT)
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Two Americans and a Briton were seized by a group of
kidnappers from their home in central Baghdad early Thursday, an Iraqi Ministry
of Interior spokesperson told CNN. [...]
She said when one of the occupants of the house came out to turn on the
electric generator, something he did at the same time every day, the abductors
moved in.
This is absolutely poetic. Michel Serres would say that here, in one sentence, you have expressed concisely a parable of systematicity and the "noise" it both subsists on and tries to suppress.
September 14, 2004
Exitjesus
With all due respect, Jibbenainosay feels that the root of the Confidence Man's misreading of the providential evidence with respect to the Four Hurricanes of the Apocalpyse is a temporal fixation incommensurate with God's communications system. It's asynchronous, you see: Florida doesn't get it, so it keeps doing ridiculous things like allowing Nader onto the ballot. And that's o.k. There are plenty more hurricanes.
But then, I suppose any place that has a lot of hurricanes needs real democracy badly. Don't like "big government," eh? Well, big government's bailing you out, literally, right now. See my previous post, and thank your lucky stars you have a family connection, Florida, because otherwise the Cheney Disaster Relief Team would be showing up not with food, drinking water, and low-interest loans, but Exxon T-Shirts and indentures with the Transportation Safety Administration for you to sign your children's lives away to.
But then, I suppose any place that has a lot of hurricanes needs real democracy badly. Don't like "big government," eh? Well, big government's bailing you out, literally, right now. See my previous post, and thank your lucky stars you have a family connection, Florida, because otherwise the Cheney Disaster Relief Team would be showing up not with food, drinking water, and low-interest loans, but Exxon T-Shirts and indentures with the Transportation Safety Administration for you to sign your children's lives away to.
Imperium in imperio
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/09/14/iraq.main/index.html
My fellow Americans, witness the continuous topography of domestic and foreign policy. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. When the terrorists ruin your water source, California--when the "insurgents" poison your Viagra supply, New Jersey--this government isn't going to allocate money to make your lives better. You won't get water, you won't get medicine. You'll get police, who will instruct you to go fill your car with gasoline.
BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- The United States announced it will shift more than $3
billion earmarked for Iraqi reconstruction to improve security and oil
production, the State Department said Tuesday.
My fellow Americans, witness the continuous topography of domestic and foreign policy. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. When the terrorists ruin your water source, California--when the "insurgents" poison your Viagra supply, New Jersey--this government isn't going to allocate money to make your lives better. You won't get water, you won't get medicine. You'll get police, who will instruct you to go fill your car with gasoline.
September 13, 2004
Are You There, God? It's Me, Florida
Now, if these hurricances are indeed God's vengeance on Florida -- then why oh why does Florida continue to tempt the Almighty to incur yet further Wrath?
"You have reached the Sprint voicemailbox of ... 'God'"
The Confidence Man is not necessarily so sure about the divine retributive nature of the inclement visitations upon the Sunshine State due to its plebiscitary problems.
Or, at least, the Confidence Man hopes that's not the case, as the widespread adoption of electronic voting machines bodes ill for the entire Continental US.
Speaking of voices from the wilderness, it seems to the Confidence Man that the recent controversies over the provenance of CBS's Bush Texas Air National Guard memos are right up Jibbenainosay's alley.
As, we think, is this.
Or, at least, the Confidence Man hopes that's not the case, as the widespread adoption of electronic voting machines bodes ill for the entire Continental US.
Speaking of voices from the wilderness, it seems to the Confidence Man that the recent controversies over the provenance of CBS's Bush Texas Air National Guard memos are right up Jibbenainosay's alley.
As, we think, is this.
September 09, 2004
Message from God
Jibbenainosay, who frequently hears the voice of God, finally has some God-prose that relates to affairs of the day. The Divine says, "I will continue to send hurricanes to destroy Florida until it becomes a democracy again."
September 04, 2004
Vicious Homophones
Hm. Perhaps this will finally inspire DQ to change the name of this.
I mean, associating your product with outmoded eugenics theories is one thing; associating it with "the scourge of female genital mutilation" is another thing entirely.
(Of course, "moolaade" does apparently mean "protection"; perhaps the blended caffeinated soft-serve beverage is meant to provide some sort of juju aegis against bad traditional practices: "Stand back, father! For I have the forces of Modernity at my disposal, as exemplified by this godless mass-produced frosty beverage! Your primitive tribal paternalism is no match for the power of surplus labor value and agribusiness!")
(Oh, and about that "scourge of female genital mutilation" business: isn't the "scourge" mechaphor perhaps a bit too vivid for a mainstream publication?)
In any event, the MooLatte still maintains a troublesome relation with "blackness," no?
I mean, associating your product with outmoded eugenics theories is one thing; associating it with "the scourge of female genital mutilation" is another thing entirely.
(Of course, "moolaade" does apparently mean "protection"; perhaps the blended caffeinated soft-serve beverage is meant to provide some sort of juju aegis against bad traditional practices: "Stand back, father! For I have the forces of Modernity at my disposal, as exemplified by this godless mass-produced frosty beverage! Your primitive tribal paternalism is no match for the power of surplus labor value and agribusiness!")
(Oh, and about that "scourge of female genital mutilation" business: isn't the "scourge" mechaphor perhaps a bit too vivid for a mainstream publication?)
In any event, the MooLatte still maintains a troublesome relation with "blackness," no?
August 25, 2004
More free strategies
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/08/25/bc.fish.pollution.ap/index.html
Sigh. The message here is, don't eat any fish you catch. But there appears to be a substantial amount of mercury in the drinking water at the EPA:
If I were a Democratic strategist, I'd point this out frequently--make a whole separate commercial on it--to the large sporting constituency that thinks environmentalism only means gun control, and win some voters.
If these numbers are right (and if we have a continuing increase in "monitoring"), by 2018 there won't be any unpolluted lakes or rivers in the United States. Talk about Montezuma's revenge.
Sigh. The message here is, don't eat any fish you catch. But there appears to be a substantial amount of mercury in the drinking water at the EPA:
EPA Administrator Mike Leavitt said the increase was due to more
monitoring, not more pollution.
"I want to make clear that this agency views mercury as a toxin. Manmade
emissions need to be reduced and regulated. There has been an appropriate,
heightened public concern," Leavitt said.
If I were a Democratic strategist, I'd point this out frequently--make a whole separate commercial on it--to the large sporting constituency that thinks environmentalism only means gun control, and win some voters.
Bush wants to cut mercury emissions by 70 percent by 2018.
If these numbers are right (and if we have a continuing increase in "monitoring"), by 2018 there won't be any unpolluted lakes or rivers in the United States. Talk about Montezuma's revenge.
August 22, 2004
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/08/22/overtime.pay.ap/index.html
Let me get this right: economic legislation was passed by a government that admits it has NO IDEA WHAT EFFECT that legislation will have? CNN reports this as an accepted fact, but yet we are not rioting in the street?
Let me get this right: economic legislation was passed by a government that admits it has NO IDEA WHAT EFFECT that legislation will have? CNN reports this as an accepted fact, but yet we are not rioting in the street?
August 03, 2004
Strictly business.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/magazine/08/03/scorecard0809/index.html?cnn=yes
Ah! This is finally beginning to get interesting.
Ah! This is finally beginning to get interesting.
July 08, 2004
Night of the Hunter
In re: http://croatan.blogspot.com/2004_05_01_croatan_archive.html#108446653880925402, I would like to suggest that we read this new item in the same light.
Because she is from West Virginia, the cunning teen involved in this scandal couldn't have come up with the escape and evasion tactics described here, and so therefore she must have been instructed by trained professionals in the espionage and/or mercenary combat fields.
Because she is from West Virginia, the cunning teen involved in this scandal couldn't have come up with the escape and evasion tactics described here, and so therefore she must have been instructed by trained professionals in the espionage and/or mercenary combat fields.
July 07, 2004
Day of the Kangaroo
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/asiapcf/07/07/australia.kangaroo.reut/index.html
Jibbenainosay has nothing but praise for nature red in tooth and claw, particularly when it wears a defiantly stoic face. This is a better preview of the costs of global warming than THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
But as a frontier product myself, I do have one question: aren't these damn dogs we've domesticated supposed to protect us?
Jibbenainosay has nothing but praise for nature red in tooth and claw, particularly when it wears a defiantly stoic face. This is a better preview of the costs of global warming than THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
But as a frontier product myself, I do have one question: aren't these damn dogs we've domesticated supposed to protect us?
July 05, 2004
Pay No Attention...
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/07/05/profile.e.voting.ap/index.html
Two thoughts:
1) In principle, there's no reason that an electronic voting system that was open enough to corruption wouldn't produce essentially the same results as any other election. That is, advocates on all teams have an equal chance of bribing whomever needs to be bribed; it might make the election a little closer, but it won't necessarily produce victory, as long as there's more than one programmer to be bribed. (Though of course, it won't be the programmers who get bribed!)
2) Following this train of thought, there's something really charming about the fact that a Canadian company, with the word global in its name, no less, is the source of these systems. Gee... I wonder how the Canadians would like to see the next election play out?
Two thoughts:
1) In principle, there's no reason that an electronic voting system that was open enough to corruption wouldn't produce essentially the same results as any other election. That is, advocates on all teams have an equal chance of bribing whomever needs to be bribed; it might make the election a little closer, but it won't necessarily produce victory, as long as there's more than one programmer to be bribed. (Though of course, it won't be the programmers who get bribed!)
2) Following this train of thought, there's something really charming about the fact that a Canadian company, with the word global in its name, no less, is the source of these systems. Gee... I wonder how the Canadians would like to see the next election play out?
July 01, 2004
Lifestyles of the Rich and Not So Famous
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/07/01/gay.marriage.ap/index.html
Sigh. Another state I've spent a lot of time in. I'm not saying woe-is-me for the gay marriage stuff; who would expect any differently out of a state that's gutted its higher education system in order to relieve its residents of their car taxes? Virginia's only ever been in the vanguard when it came to enslaving people.
No, it's this stupidity:
I find that a lot of young conservatives at the conservative school at which I teach believe this, too. They seem to think that rallies are some kind of liberal pacifier, some kind of advertising. Believe me, kids, though you haven't seen it much in your lifetimes, America has a long history of showing that "all the rallies in the world"--hell, just a few of them--can indeed change what happens in the legislature! Brush up on the 1776-1789 period: they might even change what happens in your little gated community.
Sigh. Another state I've spent a lot of time in. I'm not saying woe-is-me for the gay marriage stuff; who would expect any differently out of a state that's gutted its higher education system in order to relieve its residents of their car taxes? Virginia's only ever been in the vanguard when it came to enslaving people.
No, it's this stupidity:
The conservative Family Foundation said in a statement that gay rights groups are "willing to frighten and mislead their supporters simply to further their own political agenda."
"All the rallies in the world won't change the fact that this law passed with a bipartisan supermajority of the General Assembly," said Victoria Cobb, spokeswoman for the group.
I find that a lot of young conservatives at the conservative school at which I teach believe this, too. They seem to think that rallies are some kind of liberal pacifier, some kind of advertising. Believe me, kids, though you haven't seen it much in your lifetimes, America has a long history of showing that "all the rallies in the world"--hell, just a few of them--can indeed change what happens in the legislature! Brush up on the 1776-1789 period: they might even change what happens in your little gated community.
June 30, 2004
The Purloined Liver
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Midwest/06/29/donor.slack.ap/index.html
Ah, our literalistic public servants! But notice that CNN itself is evasive: it doesn't confess to understanding the "let speeders accelerate to an early death so we can get their organs" subtext of the sign, but it doesn't back up the folks who obviously don't get it, either. Ignorance of ignorance is bliss.
Ah, our literalistic public servants! But notice that CNN itself is evasive: it doesn't confess to understanding the "let speeders accelerate to an early death so we can get their organs" subtext of the sign, but it doesn't back up the folks who obviously don't get it, either. Ignorance of ignorance is bliss.
June 09, 2004
Reaganiana
Well, this is certainly over-priced. Very strange choice to advertise this item on CL rather than eBay ...
Like Nosferatu's Coffin
Hm. The AP is having some inadvertent fun with the inappropriate use of active verbs:
Reagan's Body Begins Trip to Washington
Reagan's Body Begins Trip to Washington
June 04, 2004
The Political Invisible
The Confidence Man was recently enjoying an evening of televisual entertainment courtesy of one of the slithering tentacles of Rupert Murdoch's Hydra, and he happened to see a promotional message for an upcoming dramatic series by the name of "North Shore," with an appropriately and attractively tawdry logline. Apparently, it's a poor-boy-meets-privileged-girl teen soaper, along the lines of "The O.C."
What really struck The Confidence Man about the promo, however, was the ad's VO tagline crescendo. It started off with "They were from different worlds ..." over a montage of teen hotties surfing and, as the kids say, "getting it on," and then built to a penultimate VO tagline of "They came from different classes ..." again over the continued Gidget-Does-"Dallas" montage.
Now: we all know that the dramatic phrase "they came from different worlds," outside the realm of scifi, means specifically that the romantic couple under consideration come from different class backgrounds.
So: The Confidence Man is confused. Why take the extra step of actually referring to class immediately thereafter? What, then, would/could the "different worlds" mean in this syntactic structure?
What really struck The Confidence Man about the promo, however, was the ad's VO tagline crescendo. It started off with "They were from different worlds ..." over a montage of teen hotties surfing and, as the kids say, "getting it on," and then built to a penultimate VO tagline of "They came from different classes ..." again over the continued Gidget-Does-"Dallas" montage.
Now: we all know that the dramatic phrase "they came from different worlds," outside the realm of scifi, means specifically that the romantic couple under consideration come from different class backgrounds.
So: The Confidence Man is confused. Why take the extra step of actually referring to class immediately thereafter? What, then, would/could the "different worlds" mean in this syntactic structure?
Now That's What I Call a Superfund Site
This article entirely misses the point.
These officials were doubtless guided by true believers at the newly faith-based EPA, trying to ensure that Virgina's waterways remain sin-free and unsullied. Imagine -- children could have been supping downstream from that tainted shore!
These officials were doubtless guided by true believers at the newly faith-based EPA, trying to ensure that Virgina's waterways remain sin-free and unsullied. Imagine -- children could have been supping downstream from that tainted shore!
June 03, 2004
Where There's Smoke ...
This etymological account strikes The Confidence Man as being a bit too whimsical to be true ...
[...] the term buccaneer, a 17th century adventurer or sea
robber, comes from the technique, called "boucan"
[meaning barbecue], of curing meat by smoking it
slowly over a fire, its French practitioners being
called "boucaniers."
[...] the term buccaneer, a 17th century adventurer or sea
robber, comes from the technique, called "boucan"
[meaning barbecue], of curing meat by smoking it
slowly over a fire, its French practitioners being
called "boucaniers."
It's Black Republican Season!
Fortunately, one doesn't need a license (in most states) to reap Black Republicans ...
Reverse-Ratfucking
... or, The Confidence Man channels Donald Segretti ...
So: the Cheney Cabal is enlisting Christian congregation leaders to coordinate a get-out-the-vote effort in November -- thereby potentially putting the churches' tax-free status at risk.
Given the GOP's long and grotesque history of vote-suppression among Dem minority demographics (including, of course, the Florida faux-felon-purge in '00 and the South Dakota Native American vote-suppression in the '02 mid-terms), The Confidence Man is taken of an inspiration.
We need to initiate a program to convince evangelicals that, if they have been politically rousted by their pastor, that they are ineligible to vote. This could consist, at the outset, of an urban-legend-type trope circulated mostly verbally but also via email. Second stage could consist of crude, implausible forgeries of "official" documents "attesting" to the "truth" of the rumor. Finally, individuals in vaguely international uniforms could position themselves near by polling places on voting day (and churches two days previously) "advising" the fundies of the "limitations."
So: the Cheney Cabal is enlisting Christian congregation leaders to coordinate a get-out-the-vote effort in November -- thereby potentially putting the churches' tax-free status at risk.
Given the GOP's long and grotesque history of vote-suppression among Dem minority demographics (including, of course, the Florida faux-felon-purge in '00 and the South Dakota Native American vote-suppression in the '02 mid-terms), The Confidence Man is taken of an inspiration.
We need to initiate a program to convince evangelicals that, if they have been politically rousted by their pastor, that they are ineligible to vote. This could consist, at the outset, of an urban-legend-type trope circulated mostly verbally but also via email. Second stage could consist of crude, implausible forgeries of "official" documents "attesting" to the "truth" of the rumor. Finally, individuals in vaguely international uniforms could position themselves near by polling places on voting day (and churches two days previously) "advising" the fundies of the "limitations."
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)