Jibbenainosay points to evidence that the energy industry may (advertently or not) be advancing the cause of human freak-evolution.
However, if as the article avers "particulates adhere to tree leaves," and those particulates cause genetic aberrations, I would lay good odds that once deciduous trees achieve sentience, they're gonna come looking for us ...
... plus, what about the anti-evolutionary argument? That these so-called genetic aberrations are merely the illusions of sick atheistic minds twisted by the Dark One's ministrations into seeing chimeras where none exist ought but for the demons torturing their twisted little souls ...
May 26, 2004
Oh, You Gullible Kentuckians
Yes, the Confidence Man absents himself for a bit and now returns with a bit of regionalist bias wrapped around a bitter pill of nasty xenophobic nougat gone most foul:
"At first I was reluctant, but he said 'you'll be fine...put this on.' And I did."
"At first I was reluctant, but he said 'you'll be fine...put this on.' And I did."
May 24, 2004
Providence Don't Fire No Blank Cartridges
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WEATHER/05/24/spring.storms.ap/index.html
Swarms of locusts -- plagues from the Nile -- winds that destroy towns -- darkness in the land. The Jibbenainosay knows how to read these signs, America: do you remember? When the land is destroyed by God, it is a sign of his disfavor with our temporal governing body.
Swarms of locusts -- plagues from the Nile -- winds that destroy towns -- darkness in the land. The Jibbenainosay knows how to read these signs, America: do you remember? When the land is destroyed by God, it is a sign of his disfavor with our temporal governing body.
May 16, 2004
The New Humans
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/05/14/pollution.mutations.ap/index.html
In the spirit of The Confidence Man's earlier immediately proven prediction that the Right would cry "homosexuals in the Army cause torture" in respose to the Rumsfeld Abuse Scandal, I propose that the Filthy Energy Cabal's response to this will be that more mutations means we evolve more quickly as humans: light speed to the Ubermensch, Mr. Cheney!
In the spirit of The Confidence Man's earlier immediately proven prediction that the Right would cry "homosexuals in the Army cause torture" in respose to the Rumsfeld Abuse Scandal, I propose that the Filthy Energy Cabal's response to this will be that more mutations means we evolve more quickly as humans: light speed to the Ubermensch, Mr. Cheney!
May 14, 2004
Wet Your Whistle
Wow. The Confidence Man had no idea that there were such large sums available to whistle-blowers against medical-education and promotion abuses.
$24.6 million would certainly be sufficient temptation for the Confidence Man to turn in his former employers.
$24.6 million would certainly be sufficient temptation for the Confidence Man to turn in his former employers.
Mind Your N's and Q's
Via the Progress Report, The Confidence Man reads that "The Office of Management and Budget's official request to Congress for $25 billion in additional fiscal 2005 funds for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan" contained a small typo: "funds would be 'available October 1, 2005.' That would be a full year later than the Pentagon wants."
M-hm. Maybe we should scan through that doc to make sure that none of those pesky little lower-case q's were "accidentally" changed to n's ...
M-hm. Maybe we should scan through that doc to make sure that none of those pesky little lower-case q's were "accidentally" changed to n's ...
May 13, 2004
On the Effects of Torture on Academics
Jibbenainosay would like to think that he knows a little something about abuse and disfigurement on the frontier. He was, therefore, appalled to see, in the recent TIME magazine issue covering the "Iraq Prisoner Abuse Scandal," the assertion by Reed College associate professor Darius Rejali that, because they were mostly from West Virginia, the soldiers involved in the scandal couldn't have designed the torture and abuse tactics seen in the photos and so must have been instructed.
So perhaps cosmopolite political scientists, who tend not to see Appalachia as a source of anything other than "the gentle music of the hill people," should look more closely at this assumption. 1) Is there no internet in West Virginia? 2) these people are in the MILITARY, which means they're a little more cosmopolitan with regard to the whole killing, torture, etc. question than most of us, and most importantly 3) Appalachia: home of the Lynch mob, folks. Genital-focused torture? Exposure of a racialized other? Hoods, wires, leashes, sex games? Sounds mighty familiar. Dr. Rejali tells us these are Brazilian tactics. Which only goes to show that when torture is concerned, even normally open-minded, thoughtful academics can lose their cool.
As an aside, Jibbenainosay is concerned about his many friends in the military. If the Commander in Chief cannot protect enlisted men--and especially MPs!--from "private" contractors or from Military Intelligence, what are you to do? And it appears that the chain of command doesn't exist anymore -- your decisions to kill people on the battlefield are your own, not the Department of Defense's, since nobody there can or will be held responsible for them.
So perhaps cosmopolite political scientists, who tend not to see Appalachia as a source of anything other than "the gentle music of the hill people," should look more closely at this assumption. 1) Is there no internet in West Virginia? 2) these people are in the MILITARY, which means they're a little more cosmopolitan with regard to the whole killing, torture, etc. question than most of us, and most importantly 3) Appalachia: home of the Lynch mob, folks. Genital-focused torture? Exposure of a racialized other? Hoods, wires, leashes, sex games? Sounds mighty familiar. Dr. Rejali tells us these are Brazilian tactics. Which only goes to show that when torture is concerned, even normally open-minded, thoughtful academics can lose their cool.
As an aside, Jibbenainosay is concerned about his many friends in the military. If the Commander in Chief cannot protect enlisted men--and especially MPs!--from "private" contractors or from Military Intelligence, what are you to do? And it appears that the chain of command doesn't exist anymore -- your decisions to kill people on the battlefield are your own, not the Department of Defense's, since nobody there can or will be held responsible for them.
May 06, 2004
Accuracy vs Precision
Well! That was fast!
Just this morning, we were expostulating on the ugly eventuality that the right-wing moron squads would start blaming the American abuses at Abu Ghraib on gays in the military. We just didn't figure it would happen this fast.
Via the ever-vigilant Quiddity at uggabugga, as the French say, voila!
Urgh. Michael Medved. What a loathsome toad.
Just this morning, we were expostulating on the ugly eventuality that the right-wing moron squads would start blaming the American abuses at Abu Ghraib on gays in the military. We just didn't figure it would happen this fast.
Via the ever-vigilant Quiddity at uggabugga, as the French say, voila!
Urgh. Michael Medved. What a loathsome toad.
TQM: TOTAL Quality Management
... and we do mean total:
[...] air traffic controllers who dealt with two of the hijacked airliners on Sept. 11, 2001, made a tape recording that day describing the events, but the tape was destroyed by a supervisor without anyone making a transcript or even listening to it [...] it was later destroyed by an F.A.A. quality-assurance manager, who crushed the cassette in his hand, cut the tape into little pieces and dropped them in different trash cans around the building [...]
[...] air traffic controllers who dealt with two of the hijacked airliners on Sept. 11, 2001, made a tape recording that day describing the events, but the tape was destroyed by a supervisor without anyone making a transcript or even listening to it [...] it was later destroyed by an F.A.A. quality-assurance manager, who crushed the cassette in his hand, cut the tape into little pieces and dropped them in different trash cans around the building [...]
Live From the Antistate
As we mentioned before, part of the overriding strategy in Iraq is the establishment of an Antistate.
Abuse of prisoners by US military and contractors is certainly one fallout from that strategy.
Abuse of subordinates by US military and contractors is another:
The commander of a Bay Area National Guard unit is accused of taking nude photos of female subordinates in a shower at Baghdad's Abu Ghraib prison[.]
On the other hand, it's comforting to see that the US military is in the vanguard of psychopharmacological interventionism:
Morale was so bad that a combat stress management team prescribed the antidepressants Prozac and Paxil to troops, soldiers said.
The Confidence Man is tempted to query whether the US Army is able to buy its drugs cut-rate from canada, but that's a topic for another day ...
Abuse of prisoners by US military and contractors is certainly one fallout from that strategy.
Abuse of subordinates by US military and contractors is another:
The commander of a Bay Area National Guard unit is accused of taking nude photos of female subordinates in a shower at Baghdad's Abu Ghraib prison[.]
On the other hand, it's comforting to see that the US military is in the vanguard of psychopharmacological interventionism:
Morale was so bad that a combat stress management team prescribed the antidepressants Prozac and Paxil to troops, soldiers said.
The Confidence Man is tempted to query whether the US Army is able to buy its drugs cut-rate from canada, but that's a topic for another day ...
Look Out!
The Confidence Man has another Dire Prediction: as the photos released of abuse of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib by US military and contractors become more and more graphic, we will start to see the far-right press and pundits start to revive the "this is why we shouldn't allow gays in the military" argument.
Watch for it. Probably by early next week.
Watch for it. Probably by early next week.
The Lawyers Made Me Do It, Revisited
And now the serious finger-pointing begins, with everybody's Finger of Doom waggling in the direction of Sky Marshal Dienes.
Yet what strikes the Confidence Man as strange about all this is the US abandonment of the Geneva Conventions being blamed solely on Rumsfeld:
Beginning more than two years ago, Mr. Rumsfeld decided to overturn decades of previous practice by the U.S. military in its handling of detainees in foreign countries. His Pentagon ruled that the United States would no longer be bound by the Geneva Conventions; that Army regulations on the interrogation of prisoners would not be observed; and that many detainees would be held incommunicado and without any independent mechanism of review. Abuses will take place in any prison system. But Mr. Rumsfeld's decisions helped create a lawless regime in which prisoners in both Iraq and Afghanistan have been humiliated, beaten, tortured and murdered -- and in which, until recently, no one has been held accountable.
Now, as we mentioned the other day, Rumsfeld himself is trying to wriggle out from under that onus, by claiming that "the lawyers" forced the no-Geneva-standards declaration on the Pentagon.
And again, we ask, which lawyers? At the direction of whom? For what reasons?
And -- Sky Marshal Dienes, are you insinuating that you yourself (and, perhaps, other members of the administration) were opposed to abandoning the Geneva Conventions in the "War on Terror"?
And finally, why oh why isn't anyone insisting that responsibility flow all the way up the chain of command?
Well, OK, the Confidence Man knows the answer to that last one: the media will not hold Chimpy McFlightsuit accountable as CinC until his approval numbers fall below 40%.
Yet what strikes the Confidence Man as strange about all this is the US abandonment of the Geneva Conventions being blamed solely on Rumsfeld:
Beginning more than two years ago, Mr. Rumsfeld decided to overturn decades of previous practice by the U.S. military in its handling of detainees in foreign countries. His Pentagon ruled that the United States would no longer be bound by the Geneva Conventions; that Army regulations on the interrogation of prisoners would not be observed; and that many detainees would be held incommunicado and without any independent mechanism of review. Abuses will take place in any prison system. But Mr. Rumsfeld's decisions helped create a lawless regime in which prisoners in both Iraq and Afghanistan have been humiliated, beaten, tortured and murdered -- and in which, until recently, no one has been held accountable.
Now, as we mentioned the other day, Rumsfeld himself is trying to wriggle out from under that onus, by claiming that "the lawyers" forced the no-Geneva-standards declaration on the Pentagon.
And again, we ask, which lawyers? At the direction of whom? For what reasons?
And -- Sky Marshal Dienes, are you insinuating that you yourself (and, perhaps, other members of the administration) were opposed to abandoning the Geneva Conventions in the "War on Terror"?
And finally, why oh why isn't anyone insisting that responsibility flow all the way up the chain of command?
Well, OK, the Confidence Man knows the answer to that last one: the media will not hold Chimpy McFlightsuit accountable as CinC until his approval numbers fall below 40%.
The Neumeier Plan
Yup, right on track with this little war against the Arachnids: looks like Sky Marshal Dienes is about to be forced to resign.
Hm. I wonder if he'll indeed be replaced by Sky Marshal Tehat Meru ...
We must meet this threat with our courage, our valor, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy now and always!
Hm. I wonder if he'll indeed be replaced by Sky Marshal Tehat Meru ...
We must meet this threat with our courage, our valor, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy now and always!
May 05, 2004
The Lawyers Made Me Do It
Josh Marshall makes the necessary maneuver of putting Rumsfeld's flop-sweat "Clintonesque" (/close sarcasm tag) presser perf from yesterday in context.
Most notably, Josh points to Rumsfeld's "I'm not a lawyer" disclaimer and his attempt to fall back on a legalistic and technical differentiation between "turture" and "abuse."
What Josh misses, however, is Rumsfeld's other deployment of the "I'm not a lawyer" argument, from the same press conference.
At another point, Rumsfeld used the same phrasing to bracket his response to a question regarding the US's suspension of Geneva Convention standards for all "enemy combatants" in the "War on Terror," from Afghanistan to Guantanamo to Iraq. Didn't this very suspension, the journalist inquired, open up the conditions to where precisely this sort of abuse could/would happen?
Rumsfeld responded with the "I'm not a lawyer" dodge, and then insisted that the question was irrelevant because "the lawyers" "insisted" that such language be included in the designation of and conditions for "enemy combatants."
Now, on the one hand, this seems to be standard-issue Rummy jiu jitsu: dodge the question with a bit of wit, mocking self-deprecation, and bureaucratic palaver.
On the other hand, however, this is about as shady and suspicious a dodge as one could imagine in response to the particular question. The "lawyers" insisted on suspending Geneva standards for "enemy combatants"? Which lawyers? Perhaps this lawyer? And, why would it have been the lawyers insisting on this?
Without wandering into tinfoil-hat territory, the Confidence Man doesn't quite know how to start answering these questions.
NB: The Confidence Man notes that Chris Hitchens has now assumed the position regarding the abuses at Abu Ghraib. Hitch, too, entirely disregards the Geneva dodge:
Either these goons were acting on someone's authority, in which case there is a layer of mid- to high-level people who think that they are not bound by the laws and codes and standing orders. Or they were acting on their own authority, in which case they are the equivalent of mutineers, deserters, or traitors in the field.
Uh, Chris? When we say the Geneva Convention doesn't apply, then we are indeed establishing a situation wherein we have "a layer of mid- to high-level people who think that they are not bound by the laws and codes and standing orders" regarding the treatment of enemy prisoners.
Most notably, Josh points to Rumsfeld's "I'm not a lawyer" disclaimer and his attempt to fall back on a legalistic and technical differentiation between "turture" and "abuse."
What Josh misses, however, is Rumsfeld's other deployment of the "I'm not a lawyer" argument, from the same press conference.
At another point, Rumsfeld used the same phrasing to bracket his response to a question regarding the US's suspension of Geneva Convention standards for all "enemy combatants" in the "War on Terror," from Afghanistan to Guantanamo to Iraq. Didn't this very suspension, the journalist inquired, open up the conditions to where precisely this sort of abuse could/would happen?
Rumsfeld responded with the "I'm not a lawyer" dodge, and then insisted that the question was irrelevant because "the lawyers" "insisted" that such language be included in the designation of and conditions for "enemy combatants."
Now, on the one hand, this seems to be standard-issue Rummy jiu jitsu: dodge the question with a bit of wit, mocking self-deprecation, and bureaucratic palaver.
On the other hand, however, this is about as shady and suspicious a dodge as one could imagine in response to the particular question. The "lawyers" insisted on suspending Geneva standards for "enemy combatants"? Which lawyers? Perhaps this lawyer? And, why would it have been the lawyers insisting on this?
Without wandering into tinfoil-hat territory, the Confidence Man doesn't quite know how to start answering these questions.
NB: The Confidence Man notes that Chris Hitchens has now assumed the position regarding the abuses at Abu Ghraib. Hitch, too, entirely disregards the Geneva dodge:
Either these goons were acting on someone's authority, in which case there is a layer of mid- to high-level people who think that they are not bound by the laws and codes and standing orders. Or they were acting on their own authority, in which case they are the equivalent of mutineers, deserters, or traitors in the field.
Uh, Chris? When we say the Geneva Convention doesn't apply, then we are indeed establishing a situation wherein we have "a layer of mid- to high-level people who think that they are not bound by the laws and codes and standing orders" regarding the treatment of enemy prisoners.
Gushing Metaphor Alert
A veritable tidal wave of monkey shit?
The Confidence Man has a pretty good idea of what that might possibly represent ...
The Confidence Man has a pretty good idea of what that might possibly represent ...
May 03, 2004
Floating Metaphor Alert
Well, really, now, this could stand for just about any number of things, couldn't it?
May 01, 2004
Les Iraqxpos?
Now, there has been chatter from time to time over the last several years about how Chimpy Mc Flightsuit would really, all things being equal, rather have been commissioner of baseball.
Setting aside musings on what a more placid and prosperous world we would inhabit in such a scenario, the Confidence Man is struck by the similarities between Despotic Townball Overlord-for-Life Bud Selig's maltreatment of the "Montreal" Expos and Sun-King George W. Bush's obsessive dismantling of Iraq.
Which leads to one obvious conclusion: in 2005, the Expos will be playing their home games under the Baghdad Bushdome.
Setting aside musings on what a more placid and prosperous world we would inhabit in such a scenario, the Confidence Man is struck by the similarities between Despotic Townball Overlord-for-Life Bud Selig's maltreatment of the "Montreal" Expos and Sun-King George W. Bush's obsessive dismantling of Iraq.
Which leads to one obvious conclusion: in 2005, the Expos will be playing their home games under the Baghdad Bushdome.
Ritual Bonding
Uh-huh. The Confidence Man reads, from a little idle Googling, that Janis Karpinski, the general in charge of US-administered prisons in Iraq, "[i]n her civilian life [...] is a consultant who runs grueling executive training programs for those hoping to scale the corporate ladder."
Now, the Confidence Man has some experience in the corporate world; and also in both receiving and administering "motivational" "team-building" exercises, of both the physical "ropes course" variety and the conceptual Stanford-prison-experiment variety.
And you know what? The incriminating photos of abuse of Iraqi prisoners by US military guards and contractors are really not a lot more than extensions of those corporate team-building exercises.
Or frat initiation rituals.
Cla-MAY-to, Cla-MAH-to. Let's call the whole thing off.
Now, the Confidence Man has some experience in the corporate world; and also in both receiving and administering "motivational" "team-building" exercises, of both the physical "ropes course" variety and the conceptual Stanford-prison-experiment variety.
And you know what? The incriminating photos of abuse of Iraqi prisoners by US military guards and contractors are really not a lot more than extensions of those corporate team-building exercises.
Or frat initiation rituals.
Cla-MAY-to, Cla-MAH-to. Let's call the whole thing off.
April 30, 2004
Synecdoche
Via (sigh, OK, I'll cop to it) Drudge, the Confidence Man reads this as, well, perfectly synecdochal.
Perhaps we could get the Orlando authorities to bring in Feith and Wolfowitz to give a demonstration on insurgent pacification and nation building ...
While we're thinking about it, why, precisely, is the "Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association" sponsoring gun safety lectures? OK, we get that "Orlando" + "Minority" + "Youth" + "Golf" = "Tiger Woods" but ... hm: perhaps Tiger took that recent boot camp training a wee bit too seriously ...
Perhaps we could get the Orlando authorities to bring in Feith and Wolfowitz to give a demonstration on insurgent pacification and nation building ...
While we're thinking about it, why, precisely, is the "Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association" sponsoring gun safety lectures? OK, we get that "Orlando" + "Minority" + "Youth" + "Golf" = "Tiger Woods" but ... hm: perhaps Tiger took that recent boot camp training a wee bit too seriously ...
A Laissez Faire Environment
This story about the abuse of Iraqi prisoners by US captors gets more and more disgusting.
Let me get this straight: we have CONTRACTORS performing and managing interrogations and POW units? (And not only that: we now have contractors serving as bodyguards for Karzai in Afghanistan -- contractors from a company notorious for running underage brothels in the Balkans.)
This is Nuremberg Trial material, folks. Not the specific abuses, though those are apparently nasty in their own right, but the structural system established in which abuses are encouraged. A "laissez faire environment," indeed. Again, this precisely in and of itself has been one of the primary goals of the occupation of Iraq: the creation of what the Confidence Man would call an Antistate, under laboratory conditions as a sort of proving grounds for implementing Antistate measures later domestically.
As a sidebar, the Confidence Man is mighty interested in the role that compact digital imaging technology has played in this prisoner-abuse controversy. Imagine if nearly every single US soldier in Viet Nam had been carrying a tiny camera and had had ready access to instant transmission of images back home. This is a bit of a stretch, but the Confidence Man imagines that in such circumstances, the McCarthy-Nixon race would have been much closer, if not reversed in its historical outcome.
Let me get this straight: we have CONTRACTORS performing and managing interrogations and POW units? (And not only that: we now have contractors serving as bodyguards for Karzai in Afghanistan -- contractors from a company notorious for running underage brothels in the Balkans.)
This is Nuremberg Trial material, folks. Not the specific abuses, though those are apparently nasty in their own right, but the structural system established in which abuses are encouraged. A "laissez faire environment," indeed. Again, this precisely in and of itself has been one of the primary goals of the occupation of Iraq: the creation of what the Confidence Man would call an Antistate, under laboratory conditions as a sort of proving grounds for implementing Antistate measures later domestically.
As a sidebar, the Confidence Man is mighty interested in the role that compact digital imaging technology has played in this prisoner-abuse controversy. Imagine if nearly every single US soldier in Viet Nam had been carrying a tiny camera and had had ready access to instant transmission of images back home. This is a bit of a stretch, but the Confidence Man imagines that in such circumstances, the McCarthy-Nixon race would have been much closer, if not reversed in its historical outcome.
April 29, 2004
True Conservatism
The Confidence Man has been going through his extensive backlog of communiques with Jibbenainosay.
We ran across a dialogue on the very strange linguistic relation of "progress" and "conservatism," in which Jibbenainosay expressed the following:
All that conservatism gets us is monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold. Without change, there is no profit.
["Monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold" -- that should really be the title of yet another Shriekback retrospective collection.]
Leaving aside the question-begging of "guillotines" (as the Confidence Man pointed out, the Guillotine was, at the time of its adoption, a progressive innovation; "crucifixion" might be a better term as part of that little quadrivium), Jibbenainosay's central thesis is extremely sound: that "conservatism" per se is a morass of logical impossibilities. That is, conservatism truly is founded on the bedrock of the profit motive; and profit being, essentially, Modernism in action, and Modernism being a viral agent, it is hard to see how broad-based social retrogressivism is in any wise compatible with profit-seeking.
In any event, these are thoughts for expansion at a later date.
This recent news is what brought the exchange back to the Confidence Man's attention.
Zell Miller's double-dealing and lunatic aberrations aside, this is a curious gesture indeed.
As some associates have pointed out to the Confidence Man, why stop with the 17th Amendment? Why not retract the Emancipation Proclamation, women's suffrage, etc. etc.?
Well, the Confidence Man has Confidence that, to be sure, Miller and many of his cohort may have inclinations in that direction; yet this particular matter seems to hang more on the question of progress than retrogress. That is, Miller wants to move forward via this tactic -- and the key is to grasp what strategic end he is seeking.
Now, obviously, Miller's rhetorical feint is toward retrogressive populism. Methinks this may be a gesture from the arsenal of the Rove-Norquist brand of political jiu-jitsu, in calling something by the name that would most accurately describe its complete opposite phenomenon.
As in, when Miller advocates for this change on the basis of reducing the influence of Washington special interests, he means precisely to increase the influence of same -- and to reduce the costs associated with exerting that influence. Think about it: it would be much easier and cheaper to graft a subset of a state legislature than to underwrite a statewide Senate election campaign.
The other rhetorically counterfactual argument regards the relative power of states -- as in rural vs urban and small vs large population. This repeal movement is not about strengthening state powers, but about holding on to power in states that are trending larger, more urban, more diverse, and more Democrat.
So, all told, yes, a regular MooLatte of retrogress and progress. A sophisticated brew. As we say, a subject to be expanded upon later.
Jibbenainosay, what sayeth you?
We ran across a dialogue on the very strange linguistic relation of "progress" and "conservatism," in which Jibbenainosay expressed the following:
All that conservatism gets us is monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold. Without change, there is no profit.
["Monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold" -- that should really be the title of yet another Shriekback retrospective collection.]
Leaving aside the question-begging of "guillotines" (as the Confidence Man pointed out, the Guillotine was, at the time of its adoption, a progressive innovation; "crucifixion" might be a better term as part of that little quadrivium), Jibbenainosay's central thesis is extremely sound: that "conservatism" per se is a morass of logical impossibilities. That is, conservatism truly is founded on the bedrock of the profit motive; and profit being, essentially, Modernism in action, and Modernism being a viral agent, it is hard to see how broad-based social retrogressivism is in any wise compatible with profit-seeking.
In any event, these are thoughts for expansion at a later date.
This recent news is what brought the exchange back to the Confidence Man's attention.
Zell Miller's double-dealing and lunatic aberrations aside, this is a curious gesture indeed.
As some associates have pointed out to the Confidence Man, why stop with the 17th Amendment? Why not retract the Emancipation Proclamation, women's suffrage, etc. etc.?
Well, the Confidence Man has Confidence that, to be sure, Miller and many of his cohort may have inclinations in that direction; yet this particular matter seems to hang more on the question of progress than retrogress. That is, Miller wants to move forward via this tactic -- and the key is to grasp what strategic end he is seeking.
Now, obviously, Miller's rhetorical feint is toward retrogressive populism. Methinks this may be a gesture from the arsenal of the Rove-Norquist brand of political jiu-jitsu, in calling something by the name that would most accurately describe its complete opposite phenomenon.
As in, when Miller advocates for this change on the basis of reducing the influence of Washington special interests, he means precisely to increase the influence of same -- and to reduce the costs associated with exerting that influence. Think about it: it would be much easier and cheaper to graft a subset of a state legislature than to underwrite a statewide Senate election campaign.
The other rhetorically counterfactual argument regards the relative power of states -- as in rural vs urban and small vs large population. This repeal movement is not about strengthening state powers, but about holding on to power in states that are trending larger, more urban, more diverse, and more Democrat.
So, all told, yes, a regular MooLatte of retrogress and progress. A sophisticated brew. As we say, a subject to be expanded upon later.
Jibbenainosay, what sayeth you?
April 27, 2004
Ladies and Gentlemen -- Live From the Damascus County Fairgrounds, It's GRAND FUNK RAILROAD!!!
We're comin' to your town/We'll help you party down/We're --
Wait a second. These guys are the only "terrorist band" the Confidence Man is aware of ... and we haven't heard from Astronaut Body in several days ... hmmmmmmmmm ...
Wait a second. These guys are the only "terrorist band" the Confidence Man is aware of ... and we haven't heard from Astronaut Body in several days ... hmmmmmmmmm ...
April 24, 2004
The Horror!
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/africa/04/24/nigeria.ambush/index.html
"It was very shocking and it took us by complete surprise," company spokesman Deji Haastrup told AP.
"We are in total darkness as to what could be the motive," he added.
Ah, Deji, Deji. The Jibbenainosay could have reminded you that this life itself is a veil over The Motive. Who can say what a "motive" is, even? Yes, we all know that Chevron is a major distributor of love, joy, equity, and health benefits to the population of the entire world. But some things... some things are beyond our ken. Let us not embark on a futile down-river search for meaning in this (am)bush, but instead take this incident as a reminder of the limits of our understanding in this vale of Tears.
"It was very shocking and it took us by complete surprise," company spokesman Deji Haastrup told AP.
"We are in total darkness as to what could be the motive," he added.
Ah, Deji, Deji. The Jibbenainosay could have reminded you that this life itself is a veil over The Motive. Who can say what a "motive" is, even? Yes, we all know that Chevron is a major distributor of love, joy, equity, and health benefits to the population of the entire world. But some things... some things are beyond our ken. Let us not embark on a futile down-river search for meaning in this (am)bush, but instead take this incident as a reminder of the limits of our understanding in this vale of Tears.
April 23, 2004
Goofy Supervillain Job Title of the Year
Oh, sweet merciful heavens. DIRECTOR OF DEMENTIA, indeed.
The Confidence Man would send in his cv, but he fears he may be simultaneously over- and underqualified ...
The Confidence Man would send in his cv, but he fears he may be simultaneously over- and underqualified ...
That Would Explain Why Condi Peed On the Carpet
More from Bryan Curtis's condensation of Woodward's Plan of Attack at Slate:
Page 127: When Karl Rove worries about the perception in the media that he's meddling in foreign affairs, Bush says: "Don't worry about it. Condi's territorial. She's a woman."
Page 127: When Karl Rove worries about the perception in the media that he's meddling in foreign affairs, Bush says: "Don't worry about it. Condi's territorial. She's a woman."
The Historical Duplicity of the Swedes
Um ... the Confidence Man reads Bryan Curtis's condensation of Woodward's Plan of Attack at Slate, and ... well, is dumbstruck:
Page 250: Karl Rove, a Norwegian-American, is obsessed with the "historical duplicity" of the Swedes, who seized Norway back in 1814. This nationalism manifests itself as hatred for Swedish weapons inspector Hans Blix.
Now, the Confidence Man is sensitive to the moody intransigence of Norwegian-Americans; Mrs. Confidence Man is of Norwegian extraction, and Ikea binge-shopping aside, she has a virulent antisweditic streak that must be appeased.
However, Mrs. Confidence Man never held the power to convince the leader of the free world to disregard a UN weapons inspector -- to the best of the Confidence Man's knowledge, that is; perhaps the Confidence Man is living with a full-fledged member of the International Norwegish Conspiracy ...
Page 250: Karl Rove, a Norwegian-American, is obsessed with the "historical duplicity" of the Swedes, who seized Norway back in 1814. This nationalism manifests itself as hatred for Swedish weapons inspector Hans Blix.
Now, the Confidence Man is sensitive to the moody intransigence of Norwegian-Americans; Mrs. Confidence Man is of Norwegian extraction, and Ikea binge-shopping aside, she has a virulent antisweditic streak that must be appeased.
However, Mrs. Confidence Man never held the power to convince the leader of the free world to disregard a UN weapons inspector -- to the best of the Confidence Man's knowledge, that is; perhaps the Confidence Man is living with a full-fledged member of the International Norwegish Conspiracy ...
Our Potty-Mouthed President
Why, the Confidence Man wonders, in the wake of Woodward's new kiss-up-and-tell book, have the media so conveniently forgotten Bush's little "fuck Saddam" moment?
Remember, this was in March 2002 -- which puts his jolly little bellicosity growing tumescent a full 6 months before Woodward's timeline.
Curious ...
Remember, this was in March 2002 -- which puts his jolly little bellicosity growing tumescent a full 6 months before Woodward's timeline.
Curious ...
Dubyathor, Steward of the Marshy Hunting Grounds
Aw, crap -- this is gaining traction again.
Mr. Bush is saying to sports enthusiasts who hunt and fish that he has been a good steward of the environment while balancing conservation with energy exploration.
Mr. Bush is saying to sports enthusiasts who hunt and fish that he has been a good steward of the environment while balancing conservation with energy exploration.
Peer Review
This is the sort of absolute crapola that has made the Hoover Institution the shining beacon of incompetent partisan research that it is today.
A Hoover Institution scholar told a House committee Thursday that same-sex marriages destroy heterosexual marriages, citing a coincidence of out- of-wedlock births in Scandinavia and the Netherlands after acceptance of homosexual unions.
[snip]
Stanley Kurtz, who holds a doctorate in social anthropology from Harvard University and is a research fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution think tank, said the Dutch example is particularly striking because Holland had an ample stock of "cultural capital," or conservative social tradition, before it legalized same-sex marriage in 2000.
Uh-huh. Holland. An "ample stock" of "conservative social tradition."
Like, say, this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
Or perhaps Dr. Kurtz is referring to this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
No, wait, it must be this Dutch "conservative social tradition."
Ignoring, for the moment, the fact that Kurtz can't distinguish between coincidence and causation, he doesn't even know how to construct a qualitative baseline for his analysis. Which is a polite way of saying that he's, ahem, lying.
(Plus, there's that very strange assertion that "cultural capital" equals "conservative social tradition." We're more likely to believe that's a misunderstanding on the part of the writer -- but, geez, if this Kurtz ding-dong believes half of the shit he says in this article, it's certainly possible that he's poorly trained [or simply dishonest] enough to conflate the two.)
Who is this putz Kurtz?
Kurtz has become the leading proponent of a social science approach to this argument with his studies of marriage in Scandinavia and now Holland [...]
Oh, I see. The leading proponent of this approach. Uh-huh, tell me more:
[...] publishing his pieces in conservative opinion journals such as the National Review and Weekly Standard.
Ah. Yes. Those paragons of sound scientism.
I suppose that if one is a frothing cultural retrograde, proselytizing to other frothing cultural retrogrades, then being edited by the staves at NR and WS would constitute a certain kind of "peer" review, would it not ...
A Hoover Institution scholar told a House committee Thursday that same-sex marriages destroy heterosexual marriages, citing a coincidence of out- of-wedlock births in Scandinavia and the Netherlands after acceptance of homosexual unions.
[snip]
Stanley Kurtz, who holds a doctorate in social anthropology from Harvard University and is a research fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution think tank, said the Dutch example is particularly striking because Holland had an ample stock of "cultural capital," or conservative social tradition, before it legalized same-sex marriage in 2000.
Uh-huh. Holland. An "ample stock" of "conservative social tradition."
Like, say, this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
Or perhaps Dr. Kurtz is referring to this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
No, wait, it must be this Dutch "conservative social tradition."
Ignoring, for the moment, the fact that Kurtz can't distinguish between coincidence and causation, he doesn't even know how to construct a qualitative baseline for his analysis. Which is a polite way of saying that he's, ahem, lying.
(Plus, there's that very strange assertion that "cultural capital" equals "conservative social tradition." We're more likely to believe that's a misunderstanding on the part of the writer -- but, geez, if this Kurtz ding-dong believes half of the shit he says in this article, it's certainly possible that he's poorly trained [or simply dishonest] enough to conflate the two.)
Who is this putz Kurtz?
Kurtz has become the leading proponent of a social science approach to this argument with his studies of marriage in Scandinavia and now Holland [...]
Oh, I see. The leading proponent of this approach. Uh-huh, tell me more:
[...] publishing his pieces in conservative opinion journals such as the National Review and Weekly Standard.
Ah. Yes. Those paragons of sound scientism.
I suppose that if one is a frothing cultural retrograde, proselytizing to other frothing cultural retrogrades, then being edited by the staves at NR and WS would constitute a certain kind of "peer" review, would it not ...
"Then It's the Municipality's Moose"
Boy, right about now Larry Walker must be feeling grateful that he doesn't live in Alaska.
New Stadium for the A's!
Well, OK, no, not an actual new facility. But expect a name change in concordance with this.
Might we suggest something along the lines of "Drainage Ditch Field at McAfee Coliseum Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis"?
Hm. "Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis" -- that may have to be the title of the Confidence Man's spin-off baseball-only blog ...
Might we suggest something along the lines of "Drainage Ditch Field at McAfee Coliseum Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis"?
Hm. "Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis" -- that may have to be the title of the Confidence Man's spin-off baseball-only blog ...
April 21, 2004
Lady Mondegreen of Foggy Bottom
The Confidence Man has been following the dribs and drabs of detail cascading from Bob Woodward's latest cri de boudoir with, as they say, bated breath.
The one element that has gotten the most play, however -- the executive-exculpatory moment of CIA Director Tenet supposedly giving Chimpy McFlightsuit the official go-ahead to claim that Iraq had WMDs -- seems to the Confidence Man to be awfully congruent with the wave of blame-Tenetism sweeping the Beltway.
Now, the whole question of how Tenet has triangulated his way into the longest tenure as Head Spook in the annals of Foggy Bottom is an entirely separate and provocative tale.
No, what we're concerned with here is Tenet's alleged phrasing: according to Woodward, he told Bush that the case for Saddam having WMDs was "a slam dunk case."
We suspect that Tenet said something else entirely, and either Bush or another earwitness misheard him.
Yes, we believe that Tenet jumped up, waved his arms dismissively, and told Bush that allegations of Saddam's cache of WMDs were "Islam bunk, Ace."
The one element that has gotten the most play, however -- the executive-exculpatory moment of CIA Director Tenet supposedly giving Chimpy McFlightsuit the official go-ahead to claim that Iraq had WMDs -- seems to the Confidence Man to be awfully congruent with the wave of blame-Tenetism sweeping the Beltway.
Now, the whole question of how Tenet has triangulated his way into the longest tenure as Head Spook in the annals of Foggy Bottom is an entirely separate and provocative tale.
No, what we're concerned with here is Tenet's alleged phrasing: according to Woodward, he told Bush that the case for Saddam having WMDs was "a slam dunk case."
We suspect that Tenet said something else entirely, and either Bush or another earwitness misheard him.
Yes, we believe that Tenet jumped up, waved his arms dismissively, and told Bush that allegations of Saddam's cache of WMDs were "Islam bunk, Ace."
Cheney Vows To 'Extend Protections To the "Weakest Members of Our Society"'
Wait. Kreepy Unka Dick's not referring to these guys when he talks about the "weakest members of our society"?
April 20, 2004
1 + 1 = ?
Hmmm. Intriguing series of comments from President Andrew Jackson in his ESPN.com chat yesterday (emphases added):
Andrew Orefice, Neptune, NJ: Peter: Is Alfonso Soriano poised to stay in Texas this season and thereafter, or are they willing to deal him before July 31st? What are you hearing about the Mets' interest in him, given the uncertainty of Jose Reyes hammy?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think they will pay him what he can make on the open market. I think they will try to trade him for pitching. The question is who can afford 9-10 million and has pitching to give up? They would like to get a SS and some young pitching.
[snip]
Jurgen (Toronto, ON): Thanks for the chat, Peter. I was wondering if you think Billy Beane is preparing to trade one of the Big Three (perhaps for another bat or two)? There was a lot of speculation when he traded for Redman in the off-season, and even despite Harden's struggles, he's still got Blanton and now Saarloos near-ready in the minors. Who is mostly likely to be dealt, and to which club?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think he will. None are eligible for free agency until after next year. I think he will get Hudson sign. I think he figures with Dye coming back he just needs to find an offensive 2B. He's convinced Bobby Crosby will hit 20 HRs by seasons end.
Hmmm, indeed.
If, indeed, Texas is actively looking to leverage Soriano for young pitching before the deadline, I would imagine that we'd stand a good chance of seeing him in Oakland this year for a stretch-run rental (and a subsequent letting-him-walk-for-a-draft-pick).
Double-hmmm: might we also link this to the recent benching of Durazo? Erubiel would make for an attractive throw-in with a pitching prospie or two to Texas for Soriano.
Yes, the Confidence Man is wish-casting here. And we're big fans of Marco Scutaro (for his defense, for his bat, but most of all for the venerable Bill King's wonderful attempts at the correct Venezuelan pronunciation of "SKyOO-TyAH-roooohww"). But, geez -- just think about a 3-4-5 of Soriano-Chavez-Dye ...
Andrew Orefice, Neptune, NJ: Peter: Is Alfonso Soriano poised to stay in Texas this season and thereafter, or are they willing to deal him before July 31st? What are you hearing about the Mets' interest in him, given the uncertainty of Jose Reyes hammy?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think they will pay him what he can make on the open market. I think they will try to trade him for pitching. The question is who can afford 9-10 million and has pitching to give up? They would like to get a SS and some young pitching.
[snip]
Jurgen (Toronto, ON): Thanks for the chat, Peter. I was wondering if you think Billy Beane is preparing to trade one of the Big Three (perhaps for another bat or two)? There was a lot of speculation when he traded for Redman in the off-season, and even despite Harden's struggles, he's still got Blanton and now Saarloos near-ready in the minors. Who is mostly likely to be dealt, and to which club?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think he will. None are eligible for free agency until after next year. I think he will get Hudson sign. I think he figures with Dye coming back he just needs to find an offensive 2B. He's convinced Bobby Crosby will hit 20 HRs by seasons end.
Hmmm, indeed.
If, indeed, Texas is actively looking to leverage Soriano for young pitching before the deadline, I would imagine that we'd stand a good chance of seeing him in Oakland this year for a stretch-run rental (and a subsequent letting-him-walk-for-a-draft-pick).
Double-hmmm: might we also link this to the recent benching of Durazo? Erubiel would make for an attractive throw-in with a pitching prospie or two to Texas for Soriano.
Yes, the Confidence Man is wish-casting here. And we're big fans of Marco Scutaro (for his defense, for his bat, but most of all for the venerable Bill King's wonderful attempts at the correct Venezuelan pronunciation of "SKyOO-TyAH-roooohww"). But, geez -- just think about a 3-4-5 of Soriano-Chavez-Dye ...
Derogative Baseball Epithet
The Confidence Man (a booster of the Green & Gold, since you ask) is mighty pleased to see the NY Costanzas off to such an uninspiring start: team totals through 4/19 of .217 BA, .334 OBP, .381 SLG, .715 OPS.
Now, obviously, these numbers, like these, will not remain at this low threshhold through the end of the season.
But, for the time being, may we suggest a collective epithet for the Yankee lineup: "Check-Forgers' Row."
Now, obviously, these numbers, like these, will not remain at this low threshhold through the end of the season.
But, for the time being, may we suggest a collective epithet for the Yankee lineup: "Check-Forgers' Row."
April 19, 2004
I'll Allow as how You're from Kentucky ...
This is absolutely priceless.
Jibbenainosay, which counts for the bigger dis in Your Old Kentucky Home -- being called a fag, or being called a Moonie?
Jibbenainosay, which counts for the bigger dis in Your Old Kentucky Home -- being called a fag, or being called a Moonie?
Speaking of Things We Missed at the Time ...
Well, ain't this just a kick in the pants.
The Confidence Man is more and more of the opinion that Kreepy Unka Dick is currently being fitted for an ice floe of his very own ...
The Confidence Man is more and more of the opinion that Kreepy Unka Dick is currently being fitted for an ice floe of his very own ...
First, They Came for the Satirical Screenwriters. Then, They Came for the Smart-Ass Humorist/Bloggers ...
As we mentioned before, it's been pretty obvious for some time that the White House has Ed Neumeier captive somewhere.
Now comes even more evidence that Ed's scenarios are being pere-verted by the NeoCons running Bush foreign policy.
And the Confidence Man now has a sneaking suspicion that Karl Rove may have absconded with Dan Radosh as well:
While Laura Bush sat reading a book, Rove gave a PowerPoint presentation on the campaign's strategy, themes and timetable.
Opening his laptop, he displayed for Bush in bold letters on a dark blue background:
PERSONA:
Strong Leader
Bold Action
Big Ideas
Peace in World
More Compassionate America
Cares About People Like Me
Leads a Strong Team
Now comes even more evidence that Ed's scenarios are being pere-verted by the NeoCons running Bush foreign policy.
And the Confidence Man now has a sneaking suspicion that Karl Rove may have absconded with Dan Radosh as well:
While Laura Bush sat reading a book, Rove gave a PowerPoint presentation on the campaign's strategy, themes and timetable.
Opening his laptop, he displayed for Bush in bold letters on a dark blue background:
PERSONA:
Strong Leader
Bold Action
Big Ideas
Peace in World
More Compassionate America
Cares About People Like Me
Leads a Strong Team
Tinfoil Hat Time
OK, the Confidence Man had been vaguely aware of the Laura-Bush-nee-Welch-killed-her-teen-sweetheart-in-a-vehicular-homicide rumors, but only recently ran across the legit confirmation of said rumors.
Now, what jumps out from these accounts is a rather, shall we say, suspicious confluence of details: November 6, 1963? North Texas? As in ... two weeks before November 22, 1963, and only a 6-1/2 hour drive away from here?
OK, one other thing jumps out at the Confidence Man from the USA Today report: Laura Bush has an astonishing instinct for the wrong choice of words. Mrs. Bush 'did say in March, when asked at a campaign stop about the crash, ''I know this as an adult, and even more as a parent, it was crushing ... for the family involved and for me as well.'''
"Crushing"?!? Jesus, that's sick.
Now, what jumps out from these accounts is a rather, shall we say, suspicious confluence of details: November 6, 1963? North Texas? As in ... two weeks before November 22, 1963, and only a 6-1/2 hour drive away from here?
OK, one other thing jumps out at the Confidence Man from the USA Today report: Laura Bush has an astonishing instinct for the wrong choice of words. Mrs. Bush 'did say in March, when asked at a campaign stop about the crash, ''I know this as an adult, and even more as a parent, it was crushing ... for the family involved and for me as well.'''
"Crushing"?!? Jesus, that's sick.
On the Theme of Mysterious Reappearances, Revisited
Or, Is This What Happens When You Put a Guy on the Disabled List One Time Too Often?
One also gets the sense that Larry Walker's neighbors haven't seen enough bad movies: '"It is so quiet here," James Thomas, one of Walker's neighbors, told the Post "You never expect anything like this."'
One also gets the sense that Larry Walker's neighbors haven't seen enough bad movies: '"It is so quiet here," James Thomas, one of Walker's neighbors, told the Post "You never expect anything like this."'
Budathor, Steward of Hasenpfeffer?
Urgh. We thought that damn "steward of" meme had been ground to a nub, when lo and behold, on an ESPN telecast two weeks ago, the channel's Superfluous Female Human Interest Sideline Interviewer "Sam" [we missed her last name] introduced a mid-game interview with Tyrannous MLB Despot-for-Life Bud Selig by referring to Seligula as "the steward of baseball."
"The steward of baseball"? What the fuck is up with that? Is Bud merely a regent holding the throne until the Dauphin comes of age, or the Rapture, whichever comes first?
"The steward of baseball"? What the fuck is up with that? Is Bud merely a regent holding the throne until the Dauphin comes of age, or the Rapture, whichever comes first?
Speaking of Mickey D's ...
A question for Jibbenainosay: Have you seen the new tv ads for the all-white-meat Chicken McNuggets? You know, the one featuring the ambiguously raced actor who bears a striking resemblance to Derek Jeter? With the VO script emphasizing the purity and integrity of the new meat composition?
And did this ad make you think of the MooLatte?
And did this ad make you think of the MooLatte?
DoPJ: Department of Poetic Justice
The CEO of McDonald's dies of a heart attack.
OK, folks, again with the reality-reading-like-an-unsuccessful-story-pitch-to-The-Onion? The Confidence Man anticipates that in the coming weeks we shall read of the following executive passings:
-- Firestone and GM CEOs die in head-on crash
-- Blackwater CEO assassinated by his own mercenaries, whose services were sold to the high bid from a gentleman in a burnous
-- Halliburton CEO drowns in 50K bbl vat of crude oil
-- RJR Nabisco CEO dies of emphysema
Other items of note in this blind quote:
'News of the death of the CEO, known for his affable personality, shocked operators of McDonald's restaurants attending the franchisee meeting, which occurs every two years. "He was such a beloved character," said one McDonald's operator in attendance, who declined to be named. "People were actually crying."'
"Actually" crying? Why does this make me think of the "Waring Hudsucker merged with the infinite" moment?
A "beloved character"? Not as beloved as Hamburgler, Jack.
And ... f'r Pete's sake, why on earth would someone insist on giving this trite little anecdote on background?
OK, folks, again with the reality-reading-like-an-unsuccessful-story-pitch-to-The-Onion? The Confidence Man anticipates that in the coming weeks we shall read of the following executive passings:
-- Firestone and GM CEOs die in head-on crash
-- Blackwater CEO assassinated by his own mercenaries, whose services were sold to the high bid from a gentleman in a burnous
-- Halliburton CEO drowns in 50K bbl vat of crude oil
-- RJR Nabisco CEO dies of emphysema
Other items of note in this blind quote:
'News of the death of the CEO, known for his affable personality, shocked operators of McDonald's restaurants attending the franchisee meeting, which occurs every two years. "He was such a beloved character," said one McDonald's operator in attendance, who declined to be named. "People were actually crying."'
"Actually" crying? Why does this make me think of the "Waring Hudsucker merged with the infinite" moment?
A "beloved character"? Not as beloved as Hamburgler, Jack.
And ... f'r Pete's sake, why on earth would someone insist on giving this trite little anecdote on background?
(cf Chicago, 1968)
Oh, great. Tom Ridge has a sekrit plan to smack down all those smart-ass longhaired peaceniks outside the convention.
April 15, 2004
Simile of the Year
In the Comments to Kevin Drum's Political Animal blog entry (querying why the print and tv media have declined to comment on Bush's fumblestuck perf at the presser on Tuesday), one "Rick Rettberg" says, apropos varying viewer reactions to Bush's perf, "It's a little like the OJ Simpson verdict. Depending on who you are, things look very different."
So, the Confidence Man's follow-up, if I may (I'm not shouting; I think I'm a must-call): does that mean, in this equation, that pro-Bush partisans are the (ahem) moral equivalent of blacks believing in OJ's simon purity?
So, the Confidence Man's follow-up, if I may (I'm not shouting; I think I'm a must-call): does that mean, in this equation, that pro-Bush partisans are the (ahem) moral equivalent of blacks believing in OJ's simon purity?
Fish in a Barrel
Yes, today's entry is a little facile and easy, but what the hell: this would certainly provide a satisfactory explanation for this.
"'Our heavy drinkers sample was significantly impaired on measures of working memory, processing speed, attention, executive function, and balance.'"
M-hm, would explain a lot ... heh heh: "executive function, and balance."
As would the obligatory contravening opinion: "Martin noted the volunteers in the study had gone without a drink for 12 hours and could thus be showing evidence of alcohol withdrawal rather than actual permanent brain damage."
"'Our heavy drinkers sample was significantly impaired on measures of working memory, processing speed, attention, executive function, and balance.'"
M-hm, would explain a lot ... heh heh: "executive function, and balance."
As would the obligatory contravening opinion: "Martin noted the volunteers in the study had gone without a drink for 12 hours and could thus be showing evidence of alcohol withdrawal rather than actual permanent brain damage."
April 14, 2004
Conflicted Suture Impulses
The Confidence Man is quite torn by this.
As a chubby man who quite often finds himself barefoot (and in police custody), the Confidence Man would naturally seem to identify with the escaped miscreant. However, the Confidence Man is also quite often red-faced, especially in the slapstick scenarios in which he so often finds himself the butt of the joke, so some sympathy with the quasi-competent officers of the law is in order as well.
"He was a big fellow, pretty strong, but he could run." An epitaph suitable for the Confidence Man -- or perhaps for this fellow, when his number is called ...
As a chubby man who quite often finds himself barefoot (and in police custody), the Confidence Man would naturally seem to identify with the escaped miscreant. However, the Confidence Man is also quite often red-faced, especially in the slapstick scenarios in which he so often finds himself the butt of the joke, so some sympathy with the quasi-competent officers of the law is in order as well.
"He was a big fellow, pretty strong, but he could run." An epitaph suitable for the Confidence Man -- or perhaps for this fellow, when his number is called ...
"Boldness and Courage"
Ugh. The Confidence Man disappears for a couple of weeks into his Insecure Undisclosed Location, and when he pops his head above ground, this happens.
Jesus H. Christ. This whole "Bush presidency" thing really is about bringing on the Rapture, isn't it?
Ye cats! Could that be the real occult meaning of Chimpy McFlightsuit's infamous "bring it on!" statement last year?
I mean, my god: 'Bush called Sharon's plan historic and urged Palestinians to match Israel's "boldness and courage."'
This can only mean one of two (not-necessarily-exclusive) things: either this is like a PBS fundraising drive, and "boldness and courage" is a euphemism for essentially blackmailing the Palestinian lobby into matching the cash donated by the Likudniks/PNAC/Neocons to Karl's Roi-Soleil Restoration Fund ... or it's a genuine "bring it on" dare for the Palestinians (and their supporters) to escalate the violent tactics of the intifada even further.
Billmon at Whiskey bar has a nice analysis here.
Jesus H. Christ. This whole "Bush presidency" thing really is about bringing on the Rapture, isn't it?
Ye cats! Could that be the real occult meaning of Chimpy McFlightsuit's infamous "bring it on!" statement last year?
I mean, my god: 'Bush called Sharon's plan historic and urged Palestinians to match Israel's "boldness and courage."'
This can only mean one of two (not-necessarily-exclusive) things: either this is like a PBS fundraising drive, and "boldness and courage" is a euphemism for essentially blackmailing the Palestinian lobby into matching the cash donated by the Likudniks/PNAC/Neocons to Karl's Roi-Soleil Restoration Fund ... or it's a genuine "bring it on" dare for the Palestinians (and their supporters) to escalate the violent tactics of the intifada even further.
Billmon at Whiskey bar has a nice analysis here.
April 07, 2004
You Talk a Lingo I Understand
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Southwest/04/07/plucked.eyeball.ap/index.html
There's not much to be said about this that wasn't said in my previous post. It's nice to see that the jury's still out on whether or not insanity applies here. It'll be a test of how far psychiatry has come, seeing whether this is interpreted Oedipally (he's not crazy) or Biblically (he crazy).
There's not much to be said about this that wasn't said in my previous post. It's nice to see that the jury's still out on whether or not insanity applies here. It'll be a test of how far psychiatry has come, seeing whether this is interpreted Oedipally (he's not crazy) or Biblically (he crazy).
April 01, 2004
I'll Allow as How You're from Texas
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Southwest/04/01/children.slain.ap/index.html
A dilemma to consider during this fall's elections (emphasis added):
"TYLER, Texas (AP) -- A housewife said the first sign that God wanted her to kill her three boys came Mother's Day weekend when she saw her 14-month-old playing with a toy spear. Deanna Laney said she resisted at first, but the signs kept coming. The baby came to her with a rock, and later in the day squeezed a frog, and she believed God was suggesting that she should either stab, stone or strangle her children. A sobbing Laney recounted in a videotape played at her capital murder trial Wednesday how she smashed her sons' skulls with rocks to prove her faith to God."
"The defense is trying to convince jurors that the signs from God were actually psychotic delusions caused by a severe mental illness that made Laney incapable of knowing right from wrong at the time of the killings, the standard in Texas for insanity."
"Dietz said Laney wasn't thinking about state law when she killed the boys, but acknowledged that she probably knew her act was illegal at the time."
Now, since the sitting President has made it clear that proving "our" faith in God is what we're up to in America, and by extension in the killing of pretty much anyone who we imagine doesn't like "our" God, it seems mighty problematic to be punishing our citizens for doing just that. Furthermore, this story suggests why our government was so craven about the latest Gulf War (detentions at Guantanamo, etc.), since it's absolutely certain that our President "knew [his] act was illegal at the time": it's how you prove you're not insane.
A dilemma to consider during this fall's elections (emphasis added):
"TYLER, Texas (AP) -- A housewife said the first sign that God wanted her to kill her three boys came Mother's Day weekend when she saw her 14-month-old playing with a toy spear. Deanna Laney said she resisted at first, but the signs kept coming. The baby came to her with a rock, and later in the day squeezed a frog, and she believed God was suggesting that she should either stab, stone or strangle her children. A sobbing Laney recounted in a videotape played at her capital murder trial Wednesday how she smashed her sons' skulls with rocks to prove her faith to God."
"The defense is trying to convince jurors that the signs from God were actually psychotic delusions caused by a severe mental illness that made Laney incapable of knowing right from wrong at the time of the killings, the standard in Texas for insanity."
"Dietz said Laney wasn't thinking about state law when she killed the boys, but acknowledged that she probably knew her act was illegal at the time."
Now, since the sitting President has made it clear that proving "our" faith in God is what we're up to in America, and by extension in the killing of pretty much anyone who we imagine doesn't like "our" God, it seems mighty problematic to be punishing our citizens for doing just that. Furthermore, this story suggests why our government was so craven about the latest Gulf War (detentions at Guantanamo, etc.), since it's absolutely certain that our President "knew [his] act was illegal at the time": it's how you prove you're not insane.
March 23, 2004
The Perils of Nonadaptation
Then, on the other side of the evolutionary coin (opposite the Wandering Elk of Wyoming), we have SF Giants second baseman Ray Durham: '"All through high school, Little League, I've slid the same way," said Durham, 32. "And that's the first time that has ever happened to me. But, you know, that's behind me now. I'll continue to slide the same way; I just won't run as fast."'
Ray need not fear dying from ingesting tainted acidic lichen; no, he'll be smashed flat by a semi delivering 8 tons of Handi-Wipes and chicken tenders to the Western Colorado Wal-Mart.
Ray need not fear dying from ingesting tainted acidic lichen; no, he'll be smashed flat by a semi delivering 8 tons of Handi-Wipes and chicken tenders to the Western Colorado Wal-Mart.
Hatchet Men
Jibbenainosay is quite right to link this with human institutional adaptability, and the risks pertaining thereunto.
For, after all, isn't it precisely -- and the Confidence Man does mean precisely -- this kind of adaptability that led to the Enron meltdown?
Food supply running low, the scavengers and foragers decided to evolve themselves into a veritable Adaptability Machine -- and thereby abstracted themselves into transactors of adaptability, rather than the "natural" foragers that their environment had shaped them to be.
As a sidebar, note also in the CNN article the curiously placed invocation of the Colorado State Line, which connotes it almost as an environmental function.
Which, if Jibbenainosay is correct in his assumption that this elk migration was driven by human interlopers, is in fact true. However, editing the story in such a way as to disguise this fact also elides what is no doubt a heated political debate amongst Coloradans and Wyomingians over human migratory patterns ...
... in fact, now that the Confidence Man gets to thinking about it ... Wyoming is ranch country, right? OK, not that the conditions conducive to ranching stop at the state line, but ... anyway: we have elk crossing over into potential cattle-grazing territory, right? Driven by herds of yuppieus americanis establishing nesting territory ("subdivisions," the natives call them) that encroaches on the elk feeding grounds.
Dollars to donuts that acidic lichen ain't natcherly so -- and you'll find a cattleman's bootprints leading away from it ...
For, after all, isn't it precisely -- and the Confidence Man does mean precisely -- this kind of adaptability that led to the Enron meltdown?
Food supply running low, the scavengers and foragers decided to evolve themselves into a veritable Adaptability Machine -- and thereby abstracted themselves into transactors of adaptability, rather than the "natural" foragers that their environment had shaped them to be.
As a sidebar, note also in the CNN article the curiously placed invocation of the Colorado State Line, which connotes it almost as an environmental function.
Which, if Jibbenainosay is correct in his assumption that this elk migration was driven by human interlopers, is in fact true. However, editing the story in such a way as to disguise this fact also elides what is no doubt a heated political debate amongst Coloradans and Wyomingians over human migratory patterns ...
... in fact, now that the Confidence Man gets to thinking about it ... Wyoming is ranch country, right? OK, not that the conditions conducive to ranching stop at the state line, but ... anyway: we have elk crossing over into potential cattle-grazing territory, right? Driven by herds of yuppieus americanis establishing nesting territory ("subdivisions," the natives call them) that encroaches on the elk feeding grounds.
Dollars to donuts that acidic lichen ain't natcherly so -- and you'll find a cattleman's bootprints leading away from it ...
Second-Best Job Title Ever
Now, granted, this is no "Assistant Breeder - Carrot," but it's evocative nonetheless: "Vulnerability Detector."
Speaking of Verdoppelung und Spaltung ...
What an odd sentiment to express: "Since Riske has never been able to hit against himself, it's not surprising that he was unaware of this skill."
This is, indeed, a fascinating twist on the scientific method: propose an impossible and therefore untestable hypothesis to explain away what we already know we don't know. (Hm. I think perhaps the Cheney Cabal has some experience in this mode of explanation.)
Ahhhhhhh, I see now -- it's Jibbenainosay's old pal Doc Ock! Sheldon Ocker strikes again ...
This is, indeed, a fascinating twist on the scientific method: propose an impossible and therefore untestable hypothesis to explain away what we already know we don't know. (Hm. I think perhaps the Cheney Cabal has some experience in this mode of explanation.)
Ahhhhhhh, I see now -- it's Jibbenainosay's old pal Doc Ock! Sheldon Ocker strikes again ...
Mysterious Disappearances and Reapparances Redux, or On the Theme of Verdoppelung und Spaltung
Courtesy of the Rittenhouse Review, we see that there are strange things afoot in the City of Brotherly Love.
We hope for her sake that little Delimar/Aaliyah does not have to "pay the price for her own adaptability" ...
Then, of course, there was this: '"I could never make contact because there was always a machine or something," he said.'
Remember, boys and girls, that in the symbolic exchange there is always a machine or something interceding.
And, furthermore, that this intercession is precisely what makes us "us."
And that Encounters With the Machine should most certainly not be reported to the Proper Authorities. For this Interceding Machine is the N*********r, and must not be invoked, 'pon pain of tongue-splitting.
We hope for her sake that little Delimar/Aaliyah does not have to "pay the price for her own adaptability" ...
Then, of course, there was this: '"I could never make contact because there was always a machine or something," he said.'
Remember, boys and girls, that in the symbolic exchange there is always a machine or something interceding.
And, furthermore, that this intercession is precisely what makes us "us."
And that Encounters With the Machine should most certainly not be reported to the Proper Authorities. For this Interceding Machine is the N*********r, and must not be invoked, 'pon pain of tongue-splitting.
I Thank the Hatchet Man Who Split My Tongue
To show that the Jibbenainosay isn't interested in the mysterious deaths of humans only: he's been folllowing this story from the start.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/03/22/elkdeaths.ap/index.html
Just at the point at which it might be worth at least suggesting how even when we don't just kill them outright, human habitation affects the movement of animals and hence, often, their viability, we get this instead:
"'Elk are incredibly adaptable, tough animals. They'll get by on thin rations and they'll make do somehow. But this year, nearly 300 of them paid the price for that adaptability,' Reed said." (Emphasis added.)
Remember that when you read your Darwin, kids, when you're thinking of your own "management options in the future": you're doomed.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/03/22/elkdeaths.ap/index.html
Just at the point at which it might be worth at least suggesting how even when we don't just kill them outright, human habitation affects the movement of animals and hence, often, their viability, we get this instead:
"'Elk are incredibly adaptable, tough animals. They'll get by on thin rations and they'll make do somehow. But this year, nearly 300 of them paid the price for that adaptability,' Reed said." (Emphasis added.)
Remember that when you read your Darwin, kids, when you're thinking of your own "management options in the future": you're doomed.
March 22, 2004
Best Job Title EVER
"Assistant Breeder - Carrot."
Oh, mercy me. That's the sort of thing that just brightens up the Confidence Man's day.
There's a whole host of good jokes/quips to be made off of that, but I still have milk coming out my nose, so I'll pass for the moment ...
Oh, mercy me. That's the sort of thing that just brightens up the Confidence Man's day.
There's a whole host of good jokes/quips to be made off of that, but I still have milk coming out my nose, so I'll pass for the moment ...
March 20, 2004
The New World
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/03/19/iraq.main/index.html
"In the capital, Iraqis took to the streets to protest the U.S.-led occupation, expressing outrage over poor security and unemployment."
Reading this, Jibbenainosay is embarrassed that he has been hinting that the War in Iraq has not been a "success" by anyone's definition. It sounds more like the U.S. every day, except that people protest.
"In the capital, Iraqis took to the streets to protest the U.S.-led occupation, expressing outrage over poor security and unemployment."
Reading this, Jibbenainosay is embarrassed that he has been hinting that the War in Iraq has not been a "success" by anyone's definition. It sounds more like the U.S. every day, except that people protest.
March 19, 2004
"Gist" Is a Verb?
Hoboy. This is, as they say, sumpfin'.
Nice to see the US military is at long last ramping up their linguistic recruiting.
Priceless: "Ability to deal unobtrusively with the local populace."
Nice to see the US military is at long last ramping up their linguistic recruiting.
Priceless: "Ability to deal unobtrusively with the local populace."
March 18, 2004
Countdown to Mendacity
So, the WHO has announced their findings that legal drugs pose a much greater worldwide health risk than do illegal drugs.
The Confidence Man is accepting predictions for the first "debunking" of this report by the Cheney Cabal as part of their unSound Science campaign.
Won't be tomorrow, as they reserve Fridays for dumping bad news into the Weekend Trench of Dissipated Coverage.
Our guess ... Wednesday of next week, timed to follow a late joint press release Tuesday afternoon by either the Hoover or the AEI in conjunction with some Salty Fatty Snax Industry lobby group (the latter disguised as a "consumer choice" astroturf organization).
Perhaps -- just perhaps -- there will also be a tie-in by some non-AMA group of anti-trial-lawyer MDs decrying the "slipshod methodology" of the WHO study.
Remember, you read it here first.
The Confidence Man is accepting predictions for the first "debunking" of this report by the Cheney Cabal as part of their unSound Science campaign.
Won't be tomorrow, as they reserve Fridays for dumping bad news into the Weekend Trench of Dissipated Coverage.
Our guess ... Wednesday of next week, timed to follow a late joint press release Tuesday afternoon by either the Hoover or the AEI in conjunction with some Salty Fatty Snax Industry lobby group (the latter disguised as a "consumer choice" astroturf organization).
Perhaps -- just perhaps -- there will also be a tie-in by some non-AMA group of anti-trial-lawyer MDs decrying the "slipshod methodology" of the WHO study.
Remember, you read it here first.
March 17, 2004
A Rheabours
Of course, being more or less a local, I don't feel like I should have to respond to this, but when the Confidence Man calls, nature answers.
Knowing what I do about the family dynamics of rural Tennessee and Kentucky, and having learned from Louis Althusser that these kinds of legal maneuvers tend to be a veil for some other ideological imperative, I'd call attention to the specificity of the dictum: only homosexual acts are to be declared against nature. Reproducing with immediate family members (it's what separates us from the monkeys!) is not to be declared such.
I'd love to see a new border-drama-comedy, Dukes of Hazzard-style, staged in Rhea Co. Daisy's the lipstick lesbian, protected by Bo and Luke (gay brothers in love: that's Rhea-style queer) who provide her with high-tension chase scenes out to the county line whenever Boss Fugate thinks his humorously incompetent deputies have got photographic evidence of her non-breeder sexual activity.
Knowing what I do about the family dynamics of rural Tennessee and Kentucky, and having learned from Louis Althusser that these kinds of legal maneuvers tend to be a veil for some other ideological imperative, I'd call attention to the specificity of the dictum: only homosexual acts are to be declared against nature. Reproducing with immediate family members (it's what separates us from the monkeys!) is not to be declared such.
I'd love to see a new border-drama-comedy, Dukes of Hazzard-style, staged in Rhea Co. Daisy's the lipstick lesbian, protected by Bo and Luke (gay brothers in love: that's Rhea-style queer) who provide her with high-tension chase scenes out to the county line whenever Boss Fugate thinks his humorously incompetent deputies have got photographic evidence of her non-breeder sexual activity.
Pack Journalism Exposed
Well this certainly is a fascinating little glimpse from this morning's SF Chron inside of the scandal-mongering pack journos.
And, as a bonus, a very nice little snarkdown of Greta von Susteren: "(One can only speculate what Greta Van Susteren would be doing in a crime-free world. Digging ditches? Teaching second grade?)"
Ah, yes, readers, another patent-pending portmanteau from the Confidence Man: "snark" + "smackdown" = "snarkdown."
And, as a bonus, a very nice little snarkdown of Greta von Susteren: "(One can only speculate what Greta Van Susteren would be doing in a crime-free world. Digging ditches? Teaching second grade?)"
Ah, yes, readers, another patent-pending portmanteau from the Confidence Man: "snark" + "smackdown" = "snarkdown."
Darwin's Rhea, or the American Ostrich
In the words of Screamin' Jay Hawkins, Great Googly Moogly!
The board of commissioners of Rhea County, TN have voted unanimously (8-0) to declare homosexual acts "against nature" and are seeking to ban gays from the county.
Yes, Rhea County, the seat of which is Dayton -- home to the Scopes Trial. The local Fundamentalist Christian Madrassah, in conjunction with the county, holds an annual festival featuring a reenactment of the trial.
The Confidence Man urges his readers to wander on over to the local Chattanooga news story and register their opinions in the online poll -- currently running at a strong 65% voting for shock/outrage/disgust over the Rhea County Commissioners' actions.
"American ostrich" does seem most apposite. These damn crackers are sticking their heads in the sand.
Of course, assuming such a posture leaves their hindquarters exposed ...
Perhaps Mr. Jibbenainosay would like to weigh in on this matter, as he has some, shall we say, intimacy with the locals therabouts ...
The board of commissioners of Rhea County, TN have voted unanimously (8-0) to declare homosexual acts "against nature" and are seeking to ban gays from the county.
Yes, Rhea County, the seat of which is Dayton -- home to the Scopes Trial. The local Fundamentalist Christian Madrassah, in conjunction with the county, holds an annual festival featuring a reenactment of the trial.
The Confidence Man urges his readers to wander on over to the local Chattanooga news story and register their opinions in the online poll -- currently running at a strong 65% voting for shock/outrage/disgust over the Rhea County Commissioners' actions.
"American ostrich" does seem most apposite. These damn crackers are sticking their heads in the sand.
Of course, assuming such a posture leaves their hindquarters exposed ...
Perhaps Mr. Jibbenainosay would like to weigh in on this matter, as he has some, shall we say, intimacy with the locals therabouts ...
March 16, 2004
Errorism Redux
Boy, the Confidence Man has been enjoying Timothy Noah's "Chatterbox" column at Slate for some time now, but his latest column is en fuego.
In fact, Chatterbox provides us with a concise definition for our neologism of Errorism: "the war against empiricism."
Though we should point out that Chatterbox is remiss in not linking this up with the whole "The Cheney Cabal Drives Up in a '76 Chevy and Abducts Science From a Playground and Takes Science to a Secure, Undisclosed Location and Does Unspeakable Things to Science, Leaving Science With Tragic Psychic Scarring" storyline.
The one benefit, we suppose, from that particular storyline, is that Tim Robbins will eventually play the role of Science in an award-winning perf ...
In fact, Chatterbox provides us with a concise definition for our neologism of Errorism: "the war against empiricism."
Though we should point out that Chatterbox is remiss in not linking this up with the whole "The Cheney Cabal Drives Up in a '76 Chevy and Abducts Science From a Playground and Takes Science to a Secure, Undisclosed Location and Does Unspeakable Things to Science, Leaving Science With Tragic Psychic Scarring" storyline.
The one benefit, we suppose, from that particular storyline, is that Tim Robbins will eventually play the role of Science in an award-winning perf ...
The Impact of Global Warming on the Medicare Crisis
When the polar ice caps start to melt, we will have fewer ice floes on which to push our elderly and infirm out to sea ...
Seriously, this theme of "too much cost for benefit to too few patients" is getting out of hand. Gina Kolata of the NYT has been pushing this, in conjunction with the reptilian Tom Scully, for several years.
Yes, genuine cost-benefit analysis can serve to improve the efficacy and efficiency of healthcare.
Yes, there is fraud and waste in Medicare and other state-sponsored healthcare finance schemes.
Yes, a Benthamite public-health analysis schema could improve overall benefits.
But when the punks in charge of all this are in the pocket of the Legalized Mandatory Ponzi Scheme Industry and the Medicinal Space Pork Industry ...
Seriously, this theme of "too much cost for benefit to too few patients" is getting out of hand. Gina Kolata of the NYT has been pushing this, in conjunction with the reptilian Tom Scully, for several years.
Yes, genuine cost-benefit analysis can serve to improve the efficacy and efficiency of healthcare.
Yes, there is fraud and waste in Medicare and other state-sponsored healthcare finance schemes.
Yes, a Benthamite public-health analysis schema could improve overall benefits.
But when the punks in charge of all this are in the pocket of the Legalized Mandatory Ponzi Scheme Industry and the Medicinal Space Pork Industry ...
Catach(ism)resis
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/03/16/iraq.main/index.html
Jibbenainosay offers his condolences. He grew up in the woods of Kentucky, which teem with Baptists, and he hates to see them led into unhealthy places by their government's encouragement of faith-based initiatives.
Still: "Four U.S. Baptist missionaries have died after a drive-by shooting in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, the U.S. military said today. A fifth missionary was wounded. The missionaries were working on a water-purification project, church officials and friends said."
A "water-purification project"? Baptists? Surely this is a euphemism.
Jibbenainosay offers his condolences. He grew up in the woods of Kentucky, which teem with Baptists, and he hates to see them led into unhealthy places by their government's encouragement of faith-based initiatives.
Still: "Four U.S. Baptist missionaries have died after a drive-by shooting in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, the U.S. military said today. A fifth missionary was wounded. The missionaries were working on a water-purification project, church officials and friends said."
A "water-purification project"? Baptists? Surely this is a euphemism.
An Unusual Preoccupation
Now, the Confidence Man does not doubt that certain demons may indeed stalk areas of this land.
However, he has severe doubts that they work for Domino's.
"An unusual preoccupation," indeed -- as opposed, we suppose, to the usual preoccupation born-agains have with The War On Demonism.
However, he has severe doubts that they work for Domino's.
"An unusual preoccupation," indeed -- as opposed, we suppose, to the usual preoccupation born-agains have with The War On Demonism.
Neologism
The Confidence Man is often described by others as "paranoid."
Now, we're not going to engage in the old dodge of "justified paranoia."
No, we prefer to think of it as a case of our Having Confidence -- Confidence, that is, in others more venal and, shall we say, successful than us.
Nonetheless, we understand how this comes off to others at times: as if the Confidence Man were busy night and day in a sweatshop of his own devising, hand-crafting tinfoil hats to ward off the Bad Mana.
Musing on this subject, we realized that there should be a word for such a person, who believes not only in the existence of extra-social end-times conspiracies but also in the viability of individual discipliniary craft to dispell the mental effects of said end-times conspiracies.
Bingo: "millinerism."
Now, we're not going to engage in the old dodge of "justified paranoia."
No, we prefer to think of it as a case of our Having Confidence -- Confidence, that is, in others more venal and, shall we say, successful than us.
Nonetheless, we understand how this comes off to others at times: as if the Confidence Man were busy night and day in a sweatshop of his own devising, hand-crafting tinfoil hats to ward off the Bad Mana.
Musing on this subject, we realized that there should be a word for such a person, who believes not only in the existence of extra-social end-times conspiracies but also in the viability of individual discipliniary craft to dispell the mental effects of said end-times conspiracies.
Bingo: "millinerism."
March 12, 2004
The Cheney Cabal Is Holding Ed Neumeier Hostage
Now, the Confidence Man either forget about or simply never heard this particular rumor:
"After Sept. 11, U.S. government officials reportedly sought out sundry Hollywood screenwriters to help them brainstorm potential terrorist scenarios."
But this would make a lot of sense.
The Confidence Man for the last 30 months or so has been convinced that Kreepy Unka Dick has Ed Neumeier tied to a chair somewhere in a small room in the Secure Undisclosed Location, with electrodes tapping into poor Ed's cerebellum.
"I for one find the concept of a bug that thinks to be offensive!"
"After Sept. 11, U.S. government officials reportedly sought out sundry Hollywood screenwriters to help them brainstorm potential terrorist scenarios."
But this would make a lot of sense.
The Confidence Man for the last 30 months or so has been convinced that Kreepy Unka Dick has Ed Neumeier tied to a chair somewhere in a small room in the Secure Undisclosed Location, with electrodes tapping into poor Ed's cerebellum.
"I for one find the concept of a bug that thinks to be offensive!"
March 11, 2004
Hey! We Resemble That Remark!
Alright, generally speaking the Confidence Man is a huge fan of the particular brand of snark employed by the brilliant young men at Baseball Prospectus. They have a wonderful ability to integrate qualitative snark with quantitative snark.
But this young whippersnapper Nate Silver has simply gone too far with the apposite in his assertion: "Political pundits--you know, the guys in the bowties--are ranked somewhere between child molester and petty thief on the social hierarchy."
Now, insofar as these two blithering idiots are concerned, Young Nathaniel is right on the money.
But to unfairly tar bowtie wearers in general with that particular feather is a grievous insult, indeed. The Confidence Man is not so concerned with his own tattered image; no, it is the honor of this great man which the Confidence Man wishes to uphold.
We must observe, however, that Young Nathaniel does exhibit both a puckish, self-deprecating sense of humor and a willingness to be corrected of his missteps: "Now, where did I put my bowtie?"
Nate, the Confidence Man procures his bowties here.
But this young whippersnapper Nate Silver has simply gone too far with the apposite in his assertion: "Political pundits--you know, the guys in the bowties--are ranked somewhere between child molester and petty thief on the social hierarchy."
Now, insofar as these two blithering idiots are concerned, Young Nathaniel is right on the money.
But to unfairly tar bowtie wearers in general with that particular feather is a grievous insult, indeed. The Confidence Man is not so concerned with his own tattered image; no, it is the honor of this great man which the Confidence Man wishes to uphold.
We must observe, however, that Young Nathaniel does exhibit both a puckish, self-deprecating sense of humor and a willingness to be corrected of his missteps: "Now, where did I put my bowtie?"
Nate, the Confidence Man procures his bowties here.
Heretical? Clandestinely?
... or, Why Much of Mainstream Science Journalism Is Still so Shoddy ...
An article this morning in the WaPo describes the findings at Harvard that female mice produce new egg cells throughout their adult life.
This is surprising enough in its own right, overturning a certain tenet of mammal biology, but the writer and/or editor have to spice the discussion up by describing "the heretical possibility that women, too, clandestinely produce fresh eggs for at least the first half of life."
Now, the Confidence Man is all for "lively" and engaging science writing.
But -- "heretical"? "Clandestinely"?
"Heresy" is a loaded charge to toss around, especially in scientific circles, and trebly so in the current atmosphere of ultra-politicized science "policy" at the federal level being dictated by a bunch of Christian mullahs. Science, contra those further than the Confidence Man down the spectrum toward cultural and ontological relativism, doesn't really trade in heresy or orthodoxy in the sense that the writer uses, and he should know better.
"Clandestinely," though, is a whole 'nother kettle of fish entirely.
First of all, it imputes intent to not only the possible adult production of egg cells in humans, but intent as well to the occultation of this fact from the general public and/or [male?] scientists.
Secondly, it implies almost a sort of female conspiracy in the putative occultation. [Can one person act "clandestinely"? Only as an agent in the service of some other individual or group of individuals. Otherwise, the activity would be merely "private."]
Thirdly, it's unnecessarily colorful, evoking either a Mata Hari-esque dance of seduction and subterfuge, or a rear-guard burqa-clad plot for subversion. [OK, now the Confidence Man himself is engaging in unnecessarily colorful connotation: "rear-guard" actions would more properly be used by sodomites against or within the Taliban, eh? Not that there's anything wrong with that ...]
Fourthly, and this is what really gets the Confidence Man's proverbial goat, the adverbial form of "clandestine" is simply too damn clunky. It's an awkward word, both visually and verbally.
Ahhhhhhhhh, but wait -- we see, now, the writer is being clever [or, perhaps, just lucky]: "[Latin clandestnus, probably blend of *clam-de, secretly (from clam. See kel-1 in Indo-European Roots), and intestnus, internal; see intestine.]"
Ah, yes, "see intestine," indeed. Well, if the writer was indeed going for a genuinely abstruse Latin pun playing on the antiquated/infantile notion of women bearing children in their digestive tract -- bra-vo! Well done! Otherwise, um ... see our notes above ...
An article this morning in the WaPo describes the findings at Harvard that female mice produce new egg cells throughout their adult life.
This is surprising enough in its own right, overturning a certain tenet of mammal biology, but the writer and/or editor have to spice the discussion up by describing "the heretical possibility that women, too, clandestinely produce fresh eggs for at least the first half of life."
Now, the Confidence Man is all for "lively" and engaging science writing.
But -- "heretical"? "Clandestinely"?
"Heresy" is a loaded charge to toss around, especially in scientific circles, and trebly so in the current atmosphere of ultra-politicized science "policy" at the federal level being dictated by a bunch of Christian mullahs. Science, contra those further than the Confidence Man down the spectrum toward cultural and ontological relativism, doesn't really trade in heresy or orthodoxy in the sense that the writer uses, and he should know better.
"Clandestinely," though, is a whole 'nother kettle of fish entirely.
First of all, it imputes intent to not only the possible adult production of egg cells in humans, but intent as well to the occultation of this fact from the general public and/or [male?] scientists.
Secondly, it implies almost a sort of female conspiracy in the putative occultation. [Can one person act "clandestinely"? Only as an agent in the service of some other individual or group of individuals. Otherwise, the activity would be merely "private."]
Thirdly, it's unnecessarily colorful, evoking either a Mata Hari-esque dance of seduction and subterfuge, or a rear-guard burqa-clad plot for subversion. [OK, now the Confidence Man himself is engaging in unnecessarily colorful connotation: "rear-guard" actions would more properly be used by sodomites against or within the Taliban, eh? Not that there's anything wrong with that ...]
Fourthly, and this is what really gets the Confidence Man's proverbial goat, the adverbial form of "clandestine" is simply too damn clunky. It's an awkward word, both visually and verbally.
Ahhhhhhhhh, but wait -- we see, now, the writer is being clever [or, perhaps, just lucky]: "[Latin clandestnus, probably blend of *clam-de, secretly (from clam. See kel-1 in Indo-European Roots), and intestnus, internal; see intestine.]"
Ah, yes, "see intestine," indeed. Well, if the writer was indeed going for a genuinely abstruse Latin pun playing on the antiquated/infantile notion of women bearing children in their digestive tract -- bra-vo! Well done! Otherwise, um ... see our notes above ...
All the News That's Fit ...
Alright, someone in the Daily Press Gaggle needs to push Scott McClellan on this further desecration and denigration of science by the Cheney Cabal in the name of increased profits.
Really, this should be a slam-dunk personalized attack on Bush: he has repeatedly cast himself as a fitness zealot, and especially prior to 09/11/01, there were multiple anecdotes about Bush being excessively snarky to any of his aides who were somewhere north of svelte.
Someone in the Gaggle should directly ask McClellan whether Bush eats fast food, whether he thinks Americans should eat healthy diets, and why he supports poor American dietary and exercise habits. I mean, come on, Helen! Get on it!
(By the way, that "AEI" in the Helen Thomas link is not this AEI, thank Zoroaster.)
Really, this should be a slam-dunk personalized attack on Bush: he has repeatedly cast himself as a fitness zealot, and especially prior to 09/11/01, there were multiple anecdotes about Bush being excessively snarky to any of his aides who were somewhere north of svelte.
Someone in the Gaggle should directly ask McClellan whether Bush eats fast food, whether he thinks Americans should eat healthy diets, and why he supports poor American dietary and exercise habits. I mean, come on, Helen! Get on it!
(By the way, that "AEI" in the Helen Thomas link is not this AEI, thank Zoroaster.)
Spearmint Rhino?
The Confidence Man does not understand these perverted Limeys.
I mean, really: "Spearmint Rhino"? What is that about?
Although we must say, we wholeheartedly embrace the concept of "models of good practice" ...
I mean, really: "Spearmint Rhino"? What is that about?
Although we must say, we wholeheartedly embrace the concept of "models of good practice" ...
March 10, 2004
Godless Americans
Oh, boy. This is a really, really dumb idea.
Maybe not quite as dumb as the whole "brights" kerfuffle, but ...
So dumb, however, that, when considered in conjunction with the fact that it appeared in the Moonie Times, it smacks of a bit of dirty-tricks-ism.
Like, say, the continuing candidacy of a certain gadfly "Democrat" ...
Maybe not quite as dumb as the whole "brights" kerfuffle, but ...
So dumb, however, that, when considered in conjunction with the fact that it appeared in the Moonie Times, it smacks of a bit of dirty-tricks-ism.
Like, say, the continuing candidacy of a certain gadfly "Democrat" ...
Genre Studies
Well, this is a little bit country, and a little bit rock-'n'-roll, isn't it?
Although, to make this a "genre" issue is something strange, indeed: "Some experts believe the sweeping surveillance of a genre of musicians is unprecedented."
Although, to make this a "genre" issue is something strange, indeed: "Some experts believe the sweeping surveillance of a genre of musicians is unprecedented."
March 08, 2004
The Confidence Man Watches CNN
While the Confidence Man sees many things, with this ding-danged head- and chest cold, his hearing is somewhat dodgy.
But nonetheless, he straps on the headphones and attends the evening news on CNN whilst he performs his calisthenics and ablutions, and notes certain minor details.
1. Parsdint Flightsuit is being mighty cute with this impugn-Kerry's-sexuality line: '"Once again, Senator Kerry is trying to have it both ways," Bush said.'
2. Kerry doesn't help matters any with his invocation of either the site of the origin of the contemporary gay rights movement or the nickname of a Confederate hero: '"Why is this administration stonewalling and resisting the investigation into what happened and why we had the greatest security failure in the history of our country?" Kerry said at a hastily arranged news conference.'
3. The Confidence Man caught about 3 minutes of this with the sound off, and honest-to-god, thought he was actually watching this. The empty offices, the strange sense of "is this staged/recreated, and if so for whom," the socially inept insider-outsider dynamic, the stagey "emotional confrontations" ...
But nonetheless, he straps on the headphones and attends the evening news on CNN whilst he performs his calisthenics and ablutions, and notes certain minor details.
1. Parsdint Flightsuit is being mighty cute with this impugn-Kerry's-sexuality line: '"Once again, Senator Kerry is trying to have it both ways," Bush said.'
2. Kerry doesn't help matters any with his invocation of either the site of the origin of the contemporary gay rights movement or the nickname of a Confederate hero: '"Why is this administration stonewalling and resisting the investigation into what happened and why we had the greatest security failure in the history of our country?" Kerry said at a hastily arranged news conference.'
3. The Confidence Man caught about 3 minutes of this with the sound off, and honest-to-god, thought he was actually watching this. The empty offices, the strange sense of "is this staged/recreated, and if so for whom," the socially inept insider-outsider dynamic, the stagey "emotional confrontations" ...
The Greatest Ticket
Hm. Brokaw? Yeah, that would be thinking outside the box.
I don't dislike the idea ... but I'm not sold.
The Confidence Man still thinks that Kerry's best "outside the box" candidate for No. 2 would be ... Oprah!
I don't dislike the idea ... but I'm not sold.
The Confidence Man still thinks that Kerry's best "outside the box" candidate for No. 2 would be ... Oprah!
Forced Perspective
Yes, another reason to be simultaneously respectful and resentful of San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom is his bodacious wifey-wife, Court TV talking head, ex-prosecutor, and, yes, ex-lingerie model, Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom.
However, as this photo makes clear, lil' Kim apparently has ... man hands!
As a side note, she also presents copy editors with a significant challenge keeping track of the appropriate placement or elision of "E"s in her name: none before the Y in her first name, one at the end of her maiden name, and none at the end of her married name (CNN in particular was having trouble adding a vestigial "E" to the end of "Newsom" for the first 2 weeks following the SF gay marriage story breaking).
However, as this photo makes clear, lil' Kim apparently has ... man hands!
As a side note, she also presents copy editors with a significant challenge keeping track of the appropriate placement or elision of "E"s in her name: none before the Y in her first name, one at the end of her maiden name, and none at the end of her married name (CNN in particular was having trouble adding a vestigial "E" to the end of "Newsom" for the first 2 weeks following the SF gay marriage story breaking).
Hard-Drinkin' Homophobes
Well, this is certainly more evidence of Fat Tony Scalia's unfitness for the SCOTUS.
However, the priceless detail is this:
'According to Devlin, the event made no money. He said he didn't recall how much was collected. If all 125 attendees bought tickets, it would have brought in $18,750.
"It was a wash," he said, adding that the bill for the open bar was higher than expected.'
Lawdy, lawdy. Those defend-The-Family-from-the-Sodomites types do enjoy their firewater, apparently ...
However, the priceless detail is this:
'According to Devlin, the event made no money. He said he didn't recall how much was collected. If all 125 attendees bought tickets, it would have brought in $18,750.
"It was a wash," he said, adding that the bill for the open bar was higher than expected.'
Lawdy, lawdy. Those defend-The-Family-from-the-Sodomites types do enjoy their firewater, apparently ...
March 07, 2004
The Eternal Cloudiness of the Piebald Mind
... or, How The Confidence Man Killed Michel Gondry ...
'"Human Nature" was poorly received. "I was really depressed," Mr. Gondry said, but he decided to do something constructive. "I took a notebook and I wrote all my problems and my ideas about the film — why I was upset by certain critics, what I thought was maybe true, and how I could change it." He ended up with 40 pages.'
Michel Gondry does not have Confidence.
'"Human Nature" was poorly received. "I was really depressed," Mr. Gondry said, but he decided to do something constructive. "I took a notebook and I wrote all my problems and my ideas about the film — why I was upset by certain critics, what I thought was maybe true, and how I could change it." He ended up with 40 pages.'
Michel Gondry does not have Confidence.
March 05, 2004
Cause and Affect
(Now, before y'all start in on the Confidence Man's spelling with this-here header, please hold on, keep reading, and your patience shall be rewarded. Have Confidence. This shall all make sense in good time.)
Hm. This is an odd and intriguing article in the LAT. Apparently, nicotine is the new Magick Redemptive Patent Liniment, Salve and Cure-All. Brought to you, of course, by Big Terbacky. Which, in turn, means -- more Space Pork for Nawth Cahwlayna and Kaintuck!
But, the Confidence Man doth digress. The topic here that interests him is Science! or the lack of principled thought therein.
Note in the article the innocuous discussion in the second nut graf of certain scientists' belief that "nicotine holds promise as a powerful treatment for a variety of illnesses, from Alzheimer's disease to depression to schizophrenia."
Now, reading further, we find the reasoning for studying the effects of nicotine on schizophrenics:
Why do almost 90% of schizophrenics smoke — three times the rate of the general population? Why do teens with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, smoke at higher rates than their peers?
[...]
Doctors have long suspected that people with schizophrenia and ADHD are self-medicating — that is, they try to alleviate their symptoms by smoking.
So, ok, sure, perhaps there is potentially something to this discussion of acetylcholine receptors.
The Confidence Man, however, has grave reservations.
Schizophrenia research from the days of Bleuler and Krapelin has been plagued by confusion between affect and effect, and between behavioral symptoms and molecular/chemical/biologic symptoms and pharmacokinetic symptoms.
Not to mention the fact that schizophrenia presents with "symptoms" that are impossibly bound up with linguistic and social structures to be merely biologic in nature. The altered affect so notable in schizophrenia is very likely as much a sociological phenomenon as it is a biological phenomenon.
(A-ha! And now the cute "mis"-spelling in our header becomes apparent as a clever little pun. Aren't we adorable?)
So, back to the nic-fit issue at hand. Apparently, "scientists" have determined that persons with schizophrenia and ADHD -- which are both characterized by altered affect, twitches, mood swings, and nervous, restless energy -- are "self-medicating" with cigarettes.
Uh-huh.
Well, first of all, ANYone who smokes is "self-medicating" per se.
But, more importantly, smoking gives you something to do with your hands and mouth. To calm you down and keep you from tweaking out in other less socially acceptable ways. It's an oral-digital affect and a behavioral/attitudinal affect and a peer-induced behavioral gesture, especially when first adopted and reinforced as a habit.
This "self-medicating" stuff is utter nonsense.
But understandable: research physicians are not trained in sociology or anthropology or linguistics. As evidenced further by this priceless nonsense.
Now, don't get the Confidence Man wrong: he is not saying that nicotine has no effect or no potential as a treatment for these conditions; nor is he denying the molecular/biological evidence of nicotine's effect on the acetylcholine receptors.
No, our point here is that these researchers have Confidence. That is, though they claim to toe the line of Science!, they tread the path of the True Believers.
Hm. This is an odd and intriguing article in the LAT. Apparently, nicotine is the new Magick Redemptive Patent Liniment, Salve and Cure-All. Brought to you, of course, by Big Terbacky. Which, in turn, means -- more Space Pork for Nawth Cahwlayna and Kaintuck!
But, the Confidence Man doth digress. The topic here that interests him is Science! or the lack of principled thought therein.
Note in the article the innocuous discussion in the second nut graf of certain scientists' belief that "nicotine holds promise as a powerful treatment for a variety of illnesses, from Alzheimer's disease to depression to schizophrenia."
Now, reading further, we find the reasoning for studying the effects of nicotine on schizophrenics:
Why do almost 90% of schizophrenics smoke — three times the rate of the general population? Why do teens with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, smoke at higher rates than their peers?
[...]
Doctors have long suspected that people with schizophrenia and ADHD are self-medicating — that is, they try to alleviate their symptoms by smoking.
So, ok, sure, perhaps there is potentially something to this discussion of acetylcholine receptors.
The Confidence Man, however, has grave reservations.
Schizophrenia research from the days of Bleuler and Krapelin has been plagued by confusion between affect and effect, and between behavioral symptoms and molecular/chemical/biologic symptoms and pharmacokinetic symptoms.
Not to mention the fact that schizophrenia presents with "symptoms" that are impossibly bound up with linguistic and social structures to be merely biologic in nature. The altered affect so notable in schizophrenia is very likely as much a sociological phenomenon as it is a biological phenomenon.
(A-ha! And now the cute "mis"-spelling in our header becomes apparent as a clever little pun. Aren't we adorable?)
So, back to the nic-fit issue at hand. Apparently, "scientists" have determined that persons with schizophrenia and ADHD -- which are both characterized by altered affect, twitches, mood swings, and nervous, restless energy -- are "self-medicating" with cigarettes.
Uh-huh.
Well, first of all, ANYone who smokes is "self-medicating" per se.
But, more importantly, smoking gives you something to do with your hands and mouth. To calm you down and keep you from tweaking out in other less socially acceptable ways. It's an oral-digital affect and a behavioral/attitudinal affect and a peer-induced behavioral gesture, especially when first adopted and reinforced as a habit.
This "self-medicating" stuff is utter nonsense.
But understandable: research physicians are not trained in sociology or anthropology or linguistics. As evidenced further by this priceless nonsense.
Now, don't get the Confidence Man wrong: he is not saying that nicotine has no effect or no potential as a treatment for these conditions; nor is he denying the molecular/biological evidence of nicotine's effect on the acetylcholine receptors.
No, our point here is that these researchers have Confidence. That is, though they claim to toe the line of Science!, they tread the path of the True Believers.
March 04, 2004
Utter Nonsense on Science and Technology
Alright, fine, we've already demonstrated our anti-Kerry bias.
But this is just ... maddening.
Yes, Kerry does criticize "this President" for acting "like a modern-day luddite presiding over an anti-science Administration," but this speech has zero grounding in any understanding of the history of technology, and lays out no clear vision for the role of science in society or the role of government in science and technology research.
What the speech does is give some vague generalities, and a hint that Stanford graduates may receive some Space Pork of their own.
Kerry needs to fire whomever wrote this load of crap.
But this is just ... maddening.
Yes, Kerry does criticize "this President" for acting "like a modern-day luddite presiding over an anti-science Administration," but this speech has zero grounding in any understanding of the history of technology, and lays out no clear vision for the role of science in society or the role of government in science and technology research.
What the speech does is give some vague generalities, and a hint that Stanford graduates may receive some Space Pork of their own.
Kerry needs to fire whomever wrote this load of crap.
I Yield the Floor to the Honorable Golden Retriever from Missouri
OK, so the WaPo comes up with an even more ridiculous argument than the Confidence Man for Kerry's VP nom: "A few Kerry advisers said Gephardt could be the right choice because he is squeaky clean, loyal, tireless and as disciplined as any politician in the game."
Could Be ...
... still ain't "is." 'Course, that depends on what your definition of "is" is.
Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson on Tuesday in Iraq:
'"Even if you don't have health insurance," said Thompson, who toured medical facilities in the Iraqi cities of Baghdad and Tikrit on Saturday and Sunday, "you are still taken care of in America. That certainly could be defined as universal coverage. Every American's health care is far superior to what the health care is in Iraq."'
Jesus. Well, I guess I'm glad to know that my QoL baseline is now "Was I suicide-bombed today?" Someone should probably alert Julie Gerberding.
Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson on Tuesday in Iraq:
'"Even if you don't have health insurance," said Thompson, who toured medical facilities in the Iraqi cities of Baghdad and Tikrit on Saturday and Sunday, "you are still taken care of in America. That certainly could be defined as universal coverage. Every American's health care is far superior to what the health care is in Iraq."'
Jesus. Well, I guess I'm glad to know that my QoL baseline is now "Was I suicide-bombed today?" Someone should probably alert Julie Gerberding.
Your Silly Peace Pipe Is no Match for my Axe, Savage!
Well, this seems to be something more in Mr. Jibbenainosay's purview.
The only comment that the Confidence Man has at the moment is to observe that this fellow seems to have at least spent his time productively between shoulder surgeries (note the signature detail on the blow-up of the re-design).
Well, alright, we do have one other comment: why is there nothing about the French on this?
The only comment that the Confidence Man has at the moment is to observe that this fellow seems to have at least spent his time productively between shoulder surgeries (note the signature detail on the blow-up of the re-design).
Well, alright, we do have one other comment: why is there nothing about the French on this?
The Confidence Man Needs a Lexis-Nexis Account
... in order to chart the usage of the term "Baghdad by the Bay" to describe San Francisco (thanks, Mr. Caen; I'm hoisting a glass of vitamin V for ya), broken out by time (specifically, 1991-92 and 2002-04) and by right, left and centrist press outlet.
Yes, it's a fully cooked proposition, but it would be entertaining to see nonetheless.
Yes, it's a fully cooked proposition, but it would be entertaining to see nonetheless.
March 03, 2004
Tempus Fuckit (con apologia por Jibbenainosay)
Ah, yes, Mr. Jibbenainosay phase-shifts into the realm of the temporal.
(My goodness, the Confidence Man should know better than to be typing after 10:00 with a snootful of patent cough medicine in him: he initially typed that above phrase as "phase-shits," which wouldn't be at all pleasant for anyone involved.)
Tell us, Jibb, what the fuck is up with that stock Corbis image accompanying the CNN article? Pencils and pencil sharpeners? Jesus H. Gibson. I guess that following the logic of the article, we would hazard a guess that "pencils" educated in "pencil-only" classes would remain dull and undifferentiated; "pencil sharpeners," on the other hand, would not suffer demonstrably, unless one were to subscribe to the narrow viewpoint that it was the natural destiny and obligation of a pencil sharpener to be filled with pencil lead and to shave it off in narrow increments.
To pursue Jibb's line of questioning, as to what kind of shavers this sort of school system will turn out: well, we, among others, have bandied about with the term "American Taliban" since yon these long years since Mullah Ashcroft's confirmation by the dismal solons.
And speaking of "our" current "born-again oil baron administration," I believe that the titular head and lieu-tenant of same have some firsthand experience with "alcohol-powered cars."
(My goodness, the Confidence Man should know better than to be typing after 10:00 with a snootful of patent cough medicine in him: he initially typed that above phrase as "phase-shits," which wouldn't be at all pleasant for anyone involved.)
Tell us, Jibb, what the fuck is up with that stock Corbis image accompanying the CNN article? Pencils and pencil sharpeners? Jesus H. Gibson. I guess that following the logic of the article, we would hazard a guess that "pencils" educated in "pencil-only" classes would remain dull and undifferentiated; "pencil sharpeners," on the other hand, would not suffer demonstrably, unless one were to subscribe to the narrow viewpoint that it was the natural destiny and obligation of a pencil sharpener to be filled with pencil lead and to shave it off in narrow increments.
To pursue Jibb's line of questioning, as to what kind of shavers this sort of school system will turn out: well, we, among others, have bandied about with the term "American Taliban" since yon these long years since Mullah Ashcroft's confirmation by the dismal solons.
And speaking of "our" current "born-again oil baron administration," I believe that the titular head and lieu-tenant of same have some firsthand experience with "alcohol-powered cars."
With Apologies to Publius
http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCATION/03/03/same.sex.schools.ap/index.html
Who are the kids who go to these schools going to marry? Our historical memory is so short that the Republicans can't remember the Walter Jenkins affair (1964), much less the nancy culture produced by centuries of single-sex education in "jolly" old England.
Jibbenainosay customarily doesn't talk about politics. It's temporal. But his Representatives In Government keep using the word "marriage," which, like "phlebotomy," is a word they should never, ever use in their official capacity -- so it's time to carve my sign in the flesh of the internet.
Reader, if you are confused about this same-sex marriage affair, as I suspect you are, do what you should always do when you are confused by political culture: read the U.S. Constitution. In the case of confusion, this is usually the most important moment: Amendments, Article 10: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."
Think about this: it's very, very important. If the Constitution doesn't mention something -- for example, the word "marriage" doesn't appear in it at this point -- then the issue is in the hands of the States or in the hands of the people. In the current debate, both "parties" tell you that decisions about marriage should rest in the hands either of the federal government or in the hands of the States. Right now, because neither is specifically designated as a regulator (this debate itself has for the moment deprecated the offensive "Defense of Marriage Act"), this power is still, effectively, in the hands of "the people."
Better to have no reference to things like marriage. Worst case, there is only one amendment to the Constitution that an individual with any sense of self-preservation or human sympathy could approve: "The right of citizens of the United States to marry shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation."
All you buckrahs I grew up with in Kentucky out there, having trouble tolerating this post, just remember this: Article [XVIII], Section 1: "After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited." Your born-again oil baron administration can't wait to re-up that one -- with minor modifications, it's their last line of defense against alcohol-powered cars.
Also, please notice that my proposed Amendment will allow you to marry your sisters.
Who are the kids who go to these schools going to marry? Our historical memory is so short that the Republicans can't remember the Walter Jenkins affair (1964), much less the nancy culture produced by centuries of single-sex education in "jolly" old England.
Jibbenainosay customarily doesn't talk about politics. It's temporal. But his Representatives In Government keep using the word "marriage," which, like "phlebotomy," is a word they should never, ever use in their official capacity -- so it's time to carve my sign in the flesh of the internet.
Reader, if you are confused about this same-sex marriage affair, as I suspect you are, do what you should always do when you are confused by political culture: read the U.S. Constitution. In the case of confusion, this is usually the most important moment: Amendments, Article 10: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."
Think about this: it's very, very important. If the Constitution doesn't mention something -- for example, the word "marriage" doesn't appear in it at this point -- then the issue is in the hands of the States or in the hands of the people. In the current debate, both "parties" tell you that decisions about marriage should rest in the hands either of the federal government or in the hands of the States. Right now, because neither is specifically designated as a regulator (this debate itself has for the moment deprecated the offensive "Defense of Marriage Act"), this power is still, effectively, in the hands of "the people."
Better to have no reference to things like marriage. Worst case, there is only one amendment to the Constitution that an individual with any sense of self-preservation or human sympathy could approve: "The right of citizens of the United States to marry shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation."
All you buckrahs I grew up with in Kentucky out there, having trouble tolerating this post, just remember this: Article [XVIII], Section 1: "After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited." Your born-again oil baron administration can't wait to re-up that one -- with minor modifications, it's their last line of defense against alcohol-powered cars.
Also, please notice that my proposed Amendment will allow you to marry your sisters.
Kerry's No. 2
Sigh. Well, we're still not enthused about Kerry as No. 1, but so be it.
In any event, the new parlor game sweeping the land is the guessing game to scry who shall be the No. 2.
There's a vibrant multiplayer discussion here, and in it the Confidence Man discerns the following ideal traits for Kerry's No. 2 to boast:
- a Southerner or Midwesterner, to geographically balance the ticket and to try to appeal to the swing and "Red" states
- a person with a military title
- a "distinguished" (i.e., elderly) figure with gravitas
- a "character" to balance Kerry's woodenness
- someone with fiduciary expertise
- a supporter of Social Security
- someone with solid "domestic" skills and expertise, to balance Kerry's foreign-policy bona fides
- an innovator capable of thinking "outside the box"
- someone with a working-class background, to balance Kerry's blueblooded wealth
- an "outsider" with leadership qualities but no "inside the Beltway" taint
The Confidence Man has the solution.
Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you THE NEXT VICE-PRESIDENT OF THESE-HERE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
In any event, the new parlor game sweeping the land is the guessing game to scry who shall be the No. 2.
There's a vibrant multiplayer discussion here, and in it the Confidence Man discerns the following ideal traits for Kerry's No. 2 to boast:
- a Southerner or Midwesterner, to geographically balance the ticket and to try to appeal to the swing and "Red" states
- a person with a military title
- a "distinguished" (i.e., elderly) figure with gravitas
- a "character" to balance Kerry's woodenness
- someone with fiduciary expertise
- a supporter of Social Security
- someone with solid "domestic" skills and expertise, to balance Kerry's foreign-policy bona fides
- an innovator capable of thinking "outside the box"
- someone with a working-class background, to balance Kerry's blueblooded wealth
- an "outsider" with leadership qualities but no "inside the Beltway" taint
The Confidence Man has the solution.
Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you THE NEXT VICE-PRESIDENT OF THESE-HERE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
We Have Confidence!
Jesus. That was fast.
Just a week ago, the Confidence Man wrote that,
"[I]n the event of a Bush-Cheney win this fall, about halfway through their second term we will see a genuinely ugly private military/commando debacle, along the lines of Iran-Contra."
So ... this week, we get the overthrow (again) of Aristide in Haiti.
What does that have to do with our post, you ask?
Note that Kreepy Unka Dick went on the campaign offensive yesterday, granting interviews to FOX, MSNBC, and CNN.
In response to Wolf Blitzer's query regarding the ouster of Aristide, Cheney replied that Aristide "left with his security detail on an aircraft we provided, not a military aircraft but civilian charter."
As we said, Exfrastructure. Outsource the military operation, and it's not, strictly speaking, a US enterprise.
Just a week ago, the Confidence Man wrote that,
"[I]n the event of a Bush-Cheney win this fall, about halfway through their second term we will see a genuinely ugly private military/commando debacle, along the lines of Iran-Contra."
So ... this week, we get the overthrow (again) of Aristide in Haiti.
What does that have to do with our post, you ask?
Note that Kreepy Unka Dick went on the campaign offensive yesterday, granting interviews to FOX, MSNBC, and CNN.
In response to Wolf Blitzer's query regarding the ouster of Aristide, Cheney replied that Aristide "left with his security detail on an aircraft we provided, not a military aircraft but civilian charter."
As we said, Exfrastructure. Outsource the military operation, and it's not, strictly speaking, a US enterprise.
March 02, 2004
Preemptive Unilateral Moratorium
The Confidence Man hereby declares Gone to Croatan to be a textual zone that shall remain free of the foodie-copy phrase "[blank]ed to perfection," as it is an abomination.
March 01, 2004
On the Theme of Mysterious Reappearances, Revisited
Things are burbling to the surface all over the place in San Francisco.
This is actually quite priceless: "It is presumed that they were taken by medical
students, or ghouls."
Ghouls, indeed. Hm. Should I be worried enough by this to call in Dr. Quatermass for a consultation?
This is actually quite priceless: "It is presumed that they were taken by medical
students, or ghouls."
Ghouls, indeed. Hm. Should I be worried enough by this to call in Dr. Quatermass for a consultation?
"Crossing Over"?
Now, this is either a fairly sophisticated punning header, or ...
Well, or what? I'm at a loss -- probably just the politics editor being cute, since there's no real follow-up of the metaphor (the phrase, yes, but not the full-on mechaphor) in the text.
As in, yes, I see dead Democrats voting.
Well, or what? I'm at a loss -- probably just the politics editor being cute, since there's no real follow-up of the metaphor (the phrase, yes, but not the full-on mechaphor) in the text.
As in, yes, I see dead Democrats voting.
A Bee in my Bonnet
OK, this thing that is really bugging me seems to be official: the NYT pluralizes "millennium" as "millenniums."
For a publication that is otherwise so fusty and procrustean in its stylebook, this sort of usage seems to me to be awfully ... casual.
I mean, what's next: using APOSTROPHES to pluralize? Jesus. I suppose if you're going to Hell in a handbasket, Greengrocer's English would be the metaphorically appropriate instigator, eh?
For a publication that is otherwise so fusty and procrustean in its stylebook, this sort of usage seems to me to be awfully ... casual.
I mean, what's next: using APOSTROPHES to pluralize? Jesus. I suppose if you're going to Hell in a handbasket, Greengrocer's English would be the metaphorically appropriate instigator, eh?
Inexcusable
Speaking of dropping the Bush quote, this morning's SF Chron Oscar wrapup very strangely elides Sean Penn's WMD quip:
'"If there's one thing that actors know, it's that there's no such thing as best in acting," Penn said[.]'
That first comma in the Chron's quote is a clear elision. Anyone who watched the damn show couldn't miss it. Here's a Reuter's quote just in case you missed it:
'"If there's one thing that actors know, other than that there weren't any WMDs (weapons of mass destruction)," he said, to cheers and scattered applause, "it's that there is no such thing as best in acting[.]'
Why in the name of Zoroaster would the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE, of all local newspapers, cut that WMD bit out? Does Judith Miller have some sort of dirt on Ruthe Stein and Carla Meyer?
'"If there's one thing that actors know, it's that there's no such thing as best in acting," Penn said[.]'
That first comma in the Chron's quote is a clear elision. Anyone who watched the damn show couldn't miss it. Here's a Reuter's quote just in case you missed it:
'"If there's one thing that actors know, other than that there weren't any WMDs (weapons of mass destruction)," he said, to cheers and scattered applause, "it's that there is no such thing as best in acting[.]'
Why in the name of Zoroaster would the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE, of all local newspapers, cut that WMD bit out? Does Judith Miller have some sort of dirt on Ruthe Stein and Carla Meyer?
Match Play
Shorter Davis Love III: Gay marriage is destroying the ability of white citizens to putt effectively in match play against chimerized liberal mongrels.
"I don't think it's just golf, I think it's our whole society," Love said. "They don't respect what other people do, don't respect your elders, don't respect other people's space, don't respect traditions or etiquette or customs. You see it in every sport, you see it walking down the street, not holding the door open for a lady when you're supposed to."
Then, in a curious allusion, Love cited the occupant of the White House.
"It's what President Bush is fighting for," Love said. "Traditions and etiquette and being good people."
Note also that the AP version of this drops the Bush quote.
"I don't think it's just golf, I think it's our whole society," Love said. "They don't respect what other people do, don't respect your elders, don't respect other people's space, don't respect traditions or etiquette or customs. You see it in every sport, you see it walking down the street, not holding the door open for a lady when you're supposed to."
Then, in a curious allusion, Love cited the occupant of the White House.
"It's what President Bush is fighting for," Love said. "Traditions and etiquette and being good people."
Note also that the AP version of this drops the Bush quote.
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