The Perils of Nonadaptation

Then, on the other side of the evolutionary coin (opposite the Wandering Elk of Wyoming), we have SF Giants second baseman Ray Durham: '"All through high school, Little League, I've slid the same way," said Durham, 32. "And that's the first time that has ever happened to me. But, you know, that's behind me now. I'll continue to slide the same way; I just won't run as fast."'

Ray need not fear dying from ingesting tainted acidic lichen; no, he'll be smashed flat by a semi delivering 8 tons of Handi-Wipes and chicken tenders to the Western Colorado Wal-Mart.