Kerry's No. 2

Sigh. Well, we're still not enthused about Kerry as No. 1, but so be it.

In any event, the new parlor game sweeping the land is the guessing game to scry who shall be the No. 2.

There's a vibrant multiplayer discussion here, and in it the Confidence Man discerns the following ideal traits for Kerry's No. 2 to boast:

- a Southerner or Midwesterner, to geographically balance the ticket and to try to appeal to the swing and "Red" states

- a person with a military title

- a "distinguished" (i.e., elderly) figure with gravitas

- a "character" to balance Kerry's woodenness

- someone with fiduciary expertise

- a supporter of Social Security

- someone with solid "domestic" skills and expertise, to balance Kerry's foreign-policy bona fides

- an innovator capable of thinking "outside the box"

- someone with a working-class background, to balance Kerry's blueblooded wealth

- an "outsider" with leadership qualities but no "inside the Beltway" taint

The Confidence Man has the solution.

Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you THE NEXT VICE-PRESIDENT OF THESE-HERE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!