Via (sigh, OK, I'll cop to it) Drudge, the Confidence Man reads this as, well, perfectly synecdochal.
Perhaps we could get the Orlando authorities to bring in Feith and Wolfowitz to give a demonstration on insurgent pacification and nation building ...
While we're thinking about it, why, precisely, is the "Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association" sponsoring gun safety lectures? OK, we get that "Orlando" + "Minority" + "Youth" + "Golf" = "Tiger Woods" but ... hm: perhaps Tiger took that recent boot camp training a wee bit too seriously ...
April 30, 2004
A Laissez Faire Environment
This story about the abuse of Iraqi prisoners by US captors gets more and more disgusting.
Let me get this straight: we have CONTRACTORS performing and managing interrogations and POW units? (And not only that: we now have contractors serving as bodyguards for Karzai in Afghanistan -- contractors from a company notorious for running underage brothels in the Balkans.)
This is Nuremberg Trial material, folks. Not the specific abuses, though those are apparently nasty in their own right, but the structural system established in which abuses are encouraged. A "laissez faire environment," indeed. Again, this precisely in and of itself has been one of the primary goals of the occupation of Iraq: the creation of what the Confidence Man would call an Antistate, under laboratory conditions as a sort of proving grounds for implementing Antistate measures later domestically.
As a sidebar, the Confidence Man is mighty interested in the role that compact digital imaging technology has played in this prisoner-abuse controversy. Imagine if nearly every single US soldier in Viet Nam had been carrying a tiny camera and had had ready access to instant transmission of images back home. This is a bit of a stretch, but the Confidence Man imagines that in such circumstances, the McCarthy-Nixon race would have been much closer, if not reversed in its historical outcome.
Let me get this straight: we have CONTRACTORS performing and managing interrogations and POW units? (And not only that: we now have contractors serving as bodyguards for Karzai in Afghanistan -- contractors from a company notorious for running underage brothels in the Balkans.)
This is Nuremberg Trial material, folks. Not the specific abuses, though those are apparently nasty in their own right, but the structural system established in which abuses are encouraged. A "laissez faire environment," indeed. Again, this precisely in and of itself has been one of the primary goals of the occupation of Iraq: the creation of what the Confidence Man would call an Antistate, under laboratory conditions as a sort of proving grounds for implementing Antistate measures later domestically.
As a sidebar, the Confidence Man is mighty interested in the role that compact digital imaging technology has played in this prisoner-abuse controversy. Imagine if nearly every single US soldier in Viet Nam had been carrying a tiny camera and had had ready access to instant transmission of images back home. This is a bit of a stretch, but the Confidence Man imagines that in such circumstances, the McCarthy-Nixon race would have been much closer, if not reversed in its historical outcome.
April 29, 2004
True Conservatism
The Confidence Man has been going through his extensive backlog of communiques with Jibbenainosay.
We ran across a dialogue on the very strange linguistic relation of "progress" and "conservatism," in which Jibbenainosay expressed the following:
All that conservatism gets us is monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold. Without change, there is no profit.
["Monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold" -- that should really be the title of yet another Shriekback retrospective collection.]
Leaving aside the question-begging of "guillotines" (as the Confidence Man pointed out, the Guillotine was, at the time of its adoption, a progressive innovation; "crucifixion" might be a better term as part of that little quadrivium), Jibbenainosay's central thesis is extremely sound: that "conservatism" per se is a morass of logical impossibilities. That is, conservatism truly is founded on the bedrock of the profit motive; and profit being, essentially, Modernism in action, and Modernism being a viral agent, it is hard to see how broad-based social retrogressivism is in any wise compatible with profit-seeking.
In any event, these are thoughts for expansion at a later date.
This recent news is what brought the exchange back to the Confidence Man's attention.
Zell Miller's double-dealing and lunatic aberrations aside, this is a curious gesture indeed.
As some associates have pointed out to the Confidence Man, why stop with the 17th Amendment? Why not retract the Emancipation Proclamation, women's suffrage, etc. etc.?
Well, the Confidence Man has Confidence that, to be sure, Miller and many of his cohort may have inclinations in that direction; yet this particular matter seems to hang more on the question of progress than retrogress. That is, Miller wants to move forward via this tactic -- and the key is to grasp what strategic end he is seeking.
Now, obviously, Miller's rhetorical feint is toward retrogressive populism. Methinks this may be a gesture from the arsenal of the Rove-Norquist brand of political jiu-jitsu, in calling something by the name that would most accurately describe its complete opposite phenomenon.
As in, when Miller advocates for this change on the basis of reducing the influence of Washington special interests, he means precisely to increase the influence of same -- and to reduce the costs associated with exerting that influence. Think about it: it would be much easier and cheaper to graft a subset of a state legislature than to underwrite a statewide Senate election campaign.
The other rhetorically counterfactual argument regards the relative power of states -- as in rural vs urban and small vs large population. This repeal movement is not about strengthening state powers, but about holding on to power in states that are trending larger, more urban, more diverse, and more Democrat.
So, all told, yes, a regular MooLatte of retrogress and progress. A sophisticated brew. As we say, a subject to be expanded upon later.
Jibbenainosay, what sayeth you?
We ran across a dialogue on the very strange linguistic relation of "progress" and "conservatism," in which Jibbenainosay expressed the following:
All that conservatism gets us is monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold. Without change, there is no profit.
["Monarchy, guillotines, rust, and mold" -- that should really be the title of yet another Shriekback retrospective collection.]
Leaving aside the question-begging of "guillotines" (as the Confidence Man pointed out, the Guillotine was, at the time of its adoption, a progressive innovation; "crucifixion" might be a better term as part of that little quadrivium), Jibbenainosay's central thesis is extremely sound: that "conservatism" per se is a morass of logical impossibilities. That is, conservatism truly is founded on the bedrock of the profit motive; and profit being, essentially, Modernism in action, and Modernism being a viral agent, it is hard to see how broad-based social retrogressivism is in any wise compatible with profit-seeking.
In any event, these are thoughts for expansion at a later date.
This recent news is what brought the exchange back to the Confidence Man's attention.
Zell Miller's double-dealing and lunatic aberrations aside, this is a curious gesture indeed.
As some associates have pointed out to the Confidence Man, why stop with the 17th Amendment? Why not retract the Emancipation Proclamation, women's suffrage, etc. etc.?
Well, the Confidence Man has Confidence that, to be sure, Miller and many of his cohort may have inclinations in that direction; yet this particular matter seems to hang more on the question of progress than retrogress. That is, Miller wants to move forward via this tactic -- and the key is to grasp what strategic end he is seeking.
Now, obviously, Miller's rhetorical feint is toward retrogressive populism. Methinks this may be a gesture from the arsenal of the Rove-Norquist brand of political jiu-jitsu, in calling something by the name that would most accurately describe its complete opposite phenomenon.
As in, when Miller advocates for this change on the basis of reducing the influence of Washington special interests, he means precisely to increase the influence of same -- and to reduce the costs associated with exerting that influence. Think about it: it would be much easier and cheaper to graft a subset of a state legislature than to underwrite a statewide Senate election campaign.
The other rhetorically counterfactual argument regards the relative power of states -- as in rural vs urban and small vs large population. This repeal movement is not about strengthening state powers, but about holding on to power in states that are trending larger, more urban, more diverse, and more Democrat.
So, all told, yes, a regular MooLatte of retrogress and progress. A sophisticated brew. As we say, a subject to be expanded upon later.
Jibbenainosay, what sayeth you?
April 27, 2004
Ladies and Gentlemen -- Live From the Damascus County Fairgrounds, It's GRAND FUNK RAILROAD!!!
We're comin' to your town/We'll help you party down/We're --
Wait a second. These guys are the only "terrorist band" the Confidence Man is aware of ... and we haven't heard from Astronaut Body in several days ... hmmmmmmmmm ...
Wait a second. These guys are the only "terrorist band" the Confidence Man is aware of ... and we haven't heard from Astronaut Body in several days ... hmmmmmmmmm ...
April 24, 2004
The Horror!
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/africa/04/24/nigeria.ambush/index.html
"It was very shocking and it took us by complete surprise," company spokesman Deji Haastrup told AP.
"We are in total darkness as to what could be the motive," he added.
Ah, Deji, Deji. The Jibbenainosay could have reminded you that this life itself is a veil over The Motive. Who can say what a "motive" is, even? Yes, we all know that Chevron is a major distributor of love, joy, equity, and health benefits to the population of the entire world. But some things... some things are beyond our ken. Let us not embark on a futile down-river search for meaning in this (am)bush, but instead take this incident as a reminder of the limits of our understanding in this vale of Tears.
"It was very shocking and it took us by complete surprise," company spokesman Deji Haastrup told AP.
"We are in total darkness as to what could be the motive," he added.
Ah, Deji, Deji. The Jibbenainosay could have reminded you that this life itself is a veil over The Motive. Who can say what a "motive" is, even? Yes, we all know that Chevron is a major distributor of love, joy, equity, and health benefits to the population of the entire world. But some things... some things are beyond our ken. Let us not embark on a futile down-river search for meaning in this (am)bush, but instead take this incident as a reminder of the limits of our understanding in this vale of Tears.
April 23, 2004
Goofy Supervillain Job Title of the Year
Oh, sweet merciful heavens. DIRECTOR OF DEMENTIA, indeed.
The Confidence Man would send in his cv, but he fears he may be simultaneously over- and underqualified ...
The Confidence Man would send in his cv, but he fears he may be simultaneously over- and underqualified ...
That Would Explain Why Condi Peed On the Carpet
More from Bryan Curtis's condensation of Woodward's Plan of Attack at Slate:
Page 127: When Karl Rove worries about the perception in the media that he's meddling in foreign affairs, Bush says: "Don't worry about it. Condi's territorial. She's a woman."
Page 127: When Karl Rove worries about the perception in the media that he's meddling in foreign affairs, Bush says: "Don't worry about it. Condi's territorial. She's a woman."
The Historical Duplicity of the Swedes
Um ... the Confidence Man reads Bryan Curtis's condensation of Woodward's Plan of Attack at Slate, and ... well, is dumbstruck:
Page 250: Karl Rove, a Norwegian-American, is obsessed with the "historical duplicity" of the Swedes, who seized Norway back in 1814. This nationalism manifests itself as hatred for Swedish weapons inspector Hans Blix.
Now, the Confidence Man is sensitive to the moody intransigence of Norwegian-Americans; Mrs. Confidence Man is of Norwegian extraction, and Ikea binge-shopping aside, she has a virulent antisweditic streak that must be appeased.
However, Mrs. Confidence Man never held the power to convince the leader of the free world to disregard a UN weapons inspector -- to the best of the Confidence Man's knowledge, that is; perhaps the Confidence Man is living with a full-fledged member of the International Norwegish Conspiracy ...
Page 250: Karl Rove, a Norwegian-American, is obsessed with the "historical duplicity" of the Swedes, who seized Norway back in 1814. This nationalism manifests itself as hatred for Swedish weapons inspector Hans Blix.
Now, the Confidence Man is sensitive to the moody intransigence of Norwegian-Americans; Mrs. Confidence Man is of Norwegian extraction, and Ikea binge-shopping aside, she has a virulent antisweditic streak that must be appeased.
However, Mrs. Confidence Man never held the power to convince the leader of the free world to disregard a UN weapons inspector -- to the best of the Confidence Man's knowledge, that is; perhaps the Confidence Man is living with a full-fledged member of the International Norwegish Conspiracy ...
Our Potty-Mouthed President
Why, the Confidence Man wonders, in the wake of Woodward's new kiss-up-and-tell book, have the media so conveniently forgotten Bush's little "fuck Saddam" moment?
Remember, this was in March 2002 -- which puts his jolly little bellicosity growing tumescent a full 6 months before Woodward's timeline.
Curious ...
Remember, this was in March 2002 -- which puts his jolly little bellicosity growing tumescent a full 6 months before Woodward's timeline.
Curious ...
Dubyathor, Steward of the Marshy Hunting Grounds
Aw, crap -- this is gaining traction again.
Mr. Bush is saying to sports enthusiasts who hunt and fish that he has been a good steward of the environment while balancing conservation with energy exploration.
Mr. Bush is saying to sports enthusiasts who hunt and fish that he has been a good steward of the environment while balancing conservation with energy exploration.
Peer Review
This is the sort of absolute crapola that has made the Hoover Institution the shining beacon of incompetent partisan research that it is today.
A Hoover Institution scholar told a House committee Thursday that same-sex marriages destroy heterosexual marriages, citing a coincidence of out- of-wedlock births in Scandinavia and the Netherlands after acceptance of homosexual unions.
[snip]
Stanley Kurtz, who holds a doctorate in social anthropology from Harvard University and is a research fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution think tank, said the Dutch example is particularly striking because Holland had an ample stock of "cultural capital," or conservative social tradition, before it legalized same-sex marriage in 2000.
Uh-huh. Holland. An "ample stock" of "conservative social tradition."
Like, say, this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
Or perhaps Dr. Kurtz is referring to this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
No, wait, it must be this Dutch "conservative social tradition."
Ignoring, for the moment, the fact that Kurtz can't distinguish between coincidence and causation, he doesn't even know how to construct a qualitative baseline for his analysis. Which is a polite way of saying that he's, ahem, lying.
(Plus, there's that very strange assertion that "cultural capital" equals "conservative social tradition." We're more likely to believe that's a misunderstanding on the part of the writer -- but, geez, if this Kurtz ding-dong believes half of the shit he says in this article, it's certainly possible that he's poorly trained [or simply dishonest] enough to conflate the two.)
Who is this putz Kurtz?
Kurtz has become the leading proponent of a social science approach to this argument with his studies of marriage in Scandinavia and now Holland [...]
Oh, I see. The leading proponent of this approach. Uh-huh, tell me more:
[...] publishing his pieces in conservative opinion journals such as the National Review and Weekly Standard.
Ah. Yes. Those paragons of sound scientism.
I suppose that if one is a frothing cultural retrograde, proselytizing to other frothing cultural retrogrades, then being edited by the staves at NR and WS would constitute a certain kind of "peer" review, would it not ...
A Hoover Institution scholar told a House committee Thursday that same-sex marriages destroy heterosexual marriages, citing a coincidence of out- of-wedlock births in Scandinavia and the Netherlands after acceptance of homosexual unions.
[snip]
Stanley Kurtz, who holds a doctorate in social anthropology from Harvard University and is a research fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution think tank, said the Dutch example is particularly striking because Holland had an ample stock of "cultural capital," or conservative social tradition, before it legalized same-sex marriage in 2000.
Uh-huh. Holland. An "ample stock" of "conservative social tradition."
Like, say, this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
Or perhaps Dr. Kurtz is referring to this Dutch "conservative social tradition"?
No, wait, it must be this Dutch "conservative social tradition."
Ignoring, for the moment, the fact that Kurtz can't distinguish between coincidence and causation, he doesn't even know how to construct a qualitative baseline for his analysis. Which is a polite way of saying that he's, ahem, lying.
(Plus, there's that very strange assertion that "cultural capital" equals "conservative social tradition." We're more likely to believe that's a misunderstanding on the part of the writer -- but, geez, if this Kurtz ding-dong believes half of the shit he says in this article, it's certainly possible that he's poorly trained [or simply dishonest] enough to conflate the two.)
Who is this putz Kurtz?
Kurtz has become the leading proponent of a social science approach to this argument with his studies of marriage in Scandinavia and now Holland [...]
Oh, I see. The leading proponent of this approach. Uh-huh, tell me more:
[...] publishing his pieces in conservative opinion journals such as the National Review and Weekly Standard.
Ah. Yes. Those paragons of sound scientism.
I suppose that if one is a frothing cultural retrograde, proselytizing to other frothing cultural retrogrades, then being edited by the staves at NR and WS would constitute a certain kind of "peer" review, would it not ...
"Then It's the Municipality's Moose"
Boy, right about now Larry Walker must be feeling grateful that he doesn't live in Alaska.
New Stadium for the A's!
Well, OK, no, not an actual new facility. But expect a name change in concordance with this.
Might we suggest something along the lines of "Drainage Ditch Field at McAfee Coliseum Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis"?
Hm. "Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis" -- that may have to be the title of the Confidence Man's spin-off baseball-only blog ...
Might we suggest something along the lines of "Drainage Ditch Field at McAfee Coliseum Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis"?
Hm. "Under the Shadow of Mt. Davis" -- that may have to be the title of the Confidence Man's spin-off baseball-only blog ...
April 21, 2004
Lady Mondegreen of Foggy Bottom
The Confidence Man has been following the dribs and drabs of detail cascading from Bob Woodward's latest cri de boudoir with, as they say, bated breath.
The one element that has gotten the most play, however -- the executive-exculpatory moment of CIA Director Tenet supposedly giving Chimpy McFlightsuit the official go-ahead to claim that Iraq had WMDs -- seems to the Confidence Man to be awfully congruent with the wave of blame-Tenetism sweeping the Beltway.
Now, the whole question of how Tenet has triangulated his way into the longest tenure as Head Spook in the annals of Foggy Bottom is an entirely separate and provocative tale.
No, what we're concerned with here is Tenet's alleged phrasing: according to Woodward, he told Bush that the case for Saddam having WMDs was "a slam dunk case."
We suspect that Tenet said something else entirely, and either Bush or another earwitness misheard him.
Yes, we believe that Tenet jumped up, waved his arms dismissively, and told Bush that allegations of Saddam's cache of WMDs were "Islam bunk, Ace."
The one element that has gotten the most play, however -- the executive-exculpatory moment of CIA Director Tenet supposedly giving Chimpy McFlightsuit the official go-ahead to claim that Iraq had WMDs -- seems to the Confidence Man to be awfully congruent with the wave of blame-Tenetism sweeping the Beltway.
Now, the whole question of how Tenet has triangulated his way into the longest tenure as Head Spook in the annals of Foggy Bottom is an entirely separate and provocative tale.
No, what we're concerned with here is Tenet's alleged phrasing: according to Woodward, he told Bush that the case for Saddam having WMDs was "a slam dunk case."
We suspect that Tenet said something else entirely, and either Bush or another earwitness misheard him.
Yes, we believe that Tenet jumped up, waved his arms dismissively, and told Bush that allegations of Saddam's cache of WMDs were "Islam bunk, Ace."
Cheney Vows To 'Extend Protections To the "Weakest Members of Our Society"'
Wait. Kreepy Unka Dick's not referring to these guys when he talks about the "weakest members of our society"?
April 20, 2004
1 + 1 = ?
Hmmm. Intriguing series of comments from President Andrew Jackson in his ESPN.com chat yesterday (emphases added):
Andrew Orefice, Neptune, NJ: Peter: Is Alfonso Soriano poised to stay in Texas this season and thereafter, or are they willing to deal him before July 31st? What are you hearing about the Mets' interest in him, given the uncertainty of Jose Reyes hammy?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think they will pay him what he can make on the open market. I think they will try to trade him for pitching. The question is who can afford 9-10 million and has pitching to give up? They would like to get a SS and some young pitching.
[snip]
Jurgen (Toronto, ON): Thanks for the chat, Peter. I was wondering if you think Billy Beane is preparing to trade one of the Big Three (perhaps for another bat or two)? There was a lot of speculation when he traded for Redman in the off-season, and even despite Harden's struggles, he's still got Blanton and now Saarloos near-ready in the minors. Who is mostly likely to be dealt, and to which club?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think he will. None are eligible for free agency until after next year. I think he will get Hudson sign. I think he figures with Dye coming back he just needs to find an offensive 2B. He's convinced Bobby Crosby will hit 20 HRs by seasons end.
Hmmm, indeed.
If, indeed, Texas is actively looking to leverage Soriano for young pitching before the deadline, I would imagine that we'd stand a good chance of seeing him in Oakland this year for a stretch-run rental (and a subsequent letting-him-walk-for-a-draft-pick).
Double-hmmm: might we also link this to the recent benching of Durazo? Erubiel would make for an attractive throw-in with a pitching prospie or two to Texas for Soriano.
Yes, the Confidence Man is wish-casting here. And we're big fans of Marco Scutaro (for his defense, for his bat, but most of all for the venerable Bill King's wonderful attempts at the correct Venezuelan pronunciation of "SKyOO-TyAH-roooohww"). But, geez -- just think about a 3-4-5 of Soriano-Chavez-Dye ...
Andrew Orefice, Neptune, NJ: Peter: Is Alfonso Soriano poised to stay in Texas this season and thereafter, or are they willing to deal him before July 31st? What are you hearing about the Mets' interest in him, given the uncertainty of Jose Reyes hammy?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think they will pay him what he can make on the open market. I think they will try to trade him for pitching. The question is who can afford 9-10 million and has pitching to give up? They would like to get a SS and some young pitching.
[snip]
Jurgen (Toronto, ON): Thanks for the chat, Peter. I was wondering if you think Billy Beane is preparing to trade one of the Big Three (perhaps for another bat or two)? There was a lot of speculation when he traded for Redman in the off-season, and even despite Harden's struggles, he's still got Blanton and now Saarloos near-ready in the minors. Who is mostly likely to be dealt, and to which club?
Peter Gammons: I dont' think he will. None are eligible for free agency until after next year. I think he will get Hudson sign. I think he figures with Dye coming back he just needs to find an offensive 2B. He's convinced Bobby Crosby will hit 20 HRs by seasons end.
Hmmm, indeed.
If, indeed, Texas is actively looking to leverage Soriano for young pitching before the deadline, I would imagine that we'd stand a good chance of seeing him in Oakland this year for a stretch-run rental (and a subsequent letting-him-walk-for-a-draft-pick).
Double-hmmm: might we also link this to the recent benching of Durazo? Erubiel would make for an attractive throw-in with a pitching prospie or two to Texas for Soriano.
Yes, the Confidence Man is wish-casting here. And we're big fans of Marco Scutaro (for his defense, for his bat, but most of all for the venerable Bill King's wonderful attempts at the correct Venezuelan pronunciation of "SKyOO-TyAH-roooohww"). But, geez -- just think about a 3-4-5 of Soriano-Chavez-Dye ...
Derogative Baseball Epithet
The Confidence Man (a booster of the Green & Gold, since you ask) is mighty pleased to see the NY Costanzas off to such an uninspiring start: team totals through 4/19 of .217 BA, .334 OBP, .381 SLG, .715 OPS.
Now, obviously, these numbers, like these, will not remain at this low threshhold through the end of the season.
But, for the time being, may we suggest a collective epithet for the Yankee lineup: "Check-Forgers' Row."
Now, obviously, these numbers, like these, will not remain at this low threshhold through the end of the season.
But, for the time being, may we suggest a collective epithet for the Yankee lineup: "Check-Forgers' Row."
April 19, 2004
I'll Allow as how You're from Kentucky ...
This is absolutely priceless.
Jibbenainosay, which counts for the bigger dis in Your Old Kentucky Home -- being called a fag, or being called a Moonie?
Jibbenainosay, which counts for the bigger dis in Your Old Kentucky Home -- being called a fag, or being called a Moonie?
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