February 17, 2005

1 + 1 + 1 = 3

You have got to be kidding me.

Bush has nominated John "Honduran Death Squad" Negroponte to the post of US Intelligence Czar.

Was it just last night that the Confidence Man was musing about American Death Camps in the Southland?

February 16, 2005

Speaking the Unspoken

The Confidence Man has been avidly following the ruckus over the Gannon/Guckert non-credentialed-White-House-"correspondent"-cum-gay-military-escort story.

To wit, this Gannon/Guckert fellow -- who is, it turns out, basically a gay male prostitute and e-entrepreneur -- with the apparent cooperation and assistance of the White House, secured regular admittance to WH pressers to lob softballs at HBush's Press Sec'y.

The Confidence Man understands why the MSM won't touch this one.

but we don't understand why no one is willing to say two names out loud anywhere near this story:

Ken Mehlman.

Karl Rove.

... and, hell, for that matter, Andrew Sullivan. Little Roy has been suspiciously silent on the Gannon/Guckert contretemps -- and, coincidentally, announced his short-lived "retirement" from blogging shortly before the Gannon/Guckert fracas burst into the open.

Libel, schmibel. Follow the monkey.

Arithmetic Progression

1 + 1 = ?

The Confidence Man notes some extremely vague paranoia-mongering and head-scratching amid Left Blogistan a while back regarding the GOP's bizarre "murder-at-will" proviso in the expansion of the Homeland Security dept.

Namely, the loopholes that, beyond declaring the Sec'y of Homeland Security to be beyond the laws of the USA, would designate vast swaths of the US-Mexico border to be legal grey areas.

Now, the Confidence Man is not sure what the problem here should be in figuring this out: the US has, since 9/11, been performing "extraordinary rendition" on swarthy individuals to terrorific states such as Egypt and Thailand, as well as setting up extralegal encampments for the internment of swarthy individuals in Guantanamo and Afghanistan.

By opening up grey areas -- legal black holes -- within the "Homeland," it renders the incarceration and interrogation all the simpler.

Spineless and Starstruck

God bless Carla Marinucci of the SF Chron.

The Confidence Man has had mixed opinions of Marinucci's local political coverage in the past, but this piece -- skewering the Cali media's collective sucking (up) to Schwarzenegger -- is very nicely done.

As for the other scribes at the Chron, the Confidence Man still reveres Tim Goodman above all others -- though Aidin Vaziri is coming up on the outside track.

Oh, So THAT'S What They Were Doing ...

"Report: FBI agent says he warned baseball of steroid use 10 years ago."

Well, thank god for that. Wouldn't have wanted the Feeb chasing down any potential Islamic suicide bombers ...

Seriously. God help us if this jarhead worked out of the Phoenix or Minneapolis offices.

100,000,000 Democratic Voters Can't Be Wrong

The Confidence Man has spent some time herein discussing the Dems' need to cultivate some starpower to help swell their electoral ranks.

What, however, is required -- more so even than the whispering-in-the-ear of lefty celebs -- is the development of a strategic plan to "grow" celebs into viable candidates.

The Confidence Man is speaking here not of the "intensive political seminar" sort of thing (Ken Khachigian and his cronies tried that with Reagan in the '60s; it didn't work then, and it won't now).

No, we're thinking of a power-rail-to-office (or, if you prefer the aquatic metaphor, springboard-to-power): not necessarily the barely legal machinations of Schwarzenegger in Gullyvornya via the Recall, but a similar fast-track to legitimacy in a statewide forum to serve as a base for a plausible national executive candidacy.

Specifically, the Dems need to get a celeb elected governor of a large state (ideally, a Red or swing state, but in any event, not California or New York).

The obvious answer, given the Confidence Man's previous speculations, would be Oprah in Illinois. On deeper reflection, however, Oprah probably presents as many problems as she does solutions; she's also, shall we say, a bit more headstrong than one would wish for the ideal candidate to be (Oprah as a candidate would probably be more like Ross Perot than anyone else).

No, what is needed is a slightly more malleable individual, but who still has the requisite star quality, soccer-mom appeal, understated machismo, blue-collar ethos, and ability to do sincere line readings.

Our thoughts turn to New Jersey -- and we note that there is a gubernatorial race upcoming.

(First things first, we need to convince Sen. Jon Corzine to drop his candidacy. As much as we do admire Corzine, he's (a) not the future of the Party, (b) far more "Senatorial" than "Parsdinchal," and (c) is actually a fine Senator and rainmaker and would do more good in that role.)

So we think now of Native Sons of NJ -- no, not the first person who (ahem) "springs" to mind, but the second.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, we're talking about Mr. Jon Bon Jovi -- your next Democratic Governor of the Great State of New Jersey.

And, thenceforth, the leading candidate for the Dem Presidential nom in '08.

And, yes, we're quite serious about this.

Simile simili gaudet


Drifter accused of kidnapping sings in court
Man charged in Elizabeth Smart case removed from competency hearing
Wednesday, February 16, 2005 Posted: 1:40 PM EST (1840 GMT)
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (AP) -- The drifter and self-proclaimed prophet accused of kidnapping Elizabeth Smart was removed from his competency hearing Wednesday for singing a religious song -- the third time he has done that in court in recent months.
Prosecutors say Mitchell took Elizabeth into the foothills near her home, sexually assaulted her and kept her as his second wife.

But like attracts like, as they say--hence this equally perverse phrase: "An excommunicated Mormon, Mitchell once wrote a rambling manifesto espousing the virtues of polygamy."

February 05, 2005

To Create a Mockingbird


Class seeks to rid kids of Appalachian accents
Friday, February 4, 2005 Posted: 9:20 AM EST (1420 GMT)
PIKEVILLE, Kentucky (AP) -- A new class that seeks to teach youngsters how to lose their Appalachian accents has set off an age-old phonetic debate: Should mountain natives drop the drawl or hold tightly to their twang?

Jibbenainosay hopes that CNN doesn't continue to cover stories like these--or at least, that it does so with the same kind of misleading headline as this one bears. This stuff is top secret. This program of course replaces previous JW Theatre efforts involving painting black children white and teaching the girls to dress and act like boys to "broaden their performance opportunities and improve overall marketability." The Kentucky plot to take over the world proceeds apace: you will never know when we're there, watching you, imitating you, replacing you....

February 02, 2005

Finding Churchill


University faculty defends controversial professor
Wednesday, February 2, 2005 Posted: 11:52 AM EST (1652
BOULDER, Colorado (AP) -- As pressure mounts on a University of Colorado professor who ignited a furor by comparing the World Trade Center victims to Nazis, colleagues have come to his defense -- on free speech grounds.

Normally, Jibbenainosay wouldn't intervene in such a fine hoopla as this, but he feels the urge to point something out. Nowhere in the three CNN front-page articles about Ward Churchill's controversial statements respecting 9/11 and consequent resignation from his chairship is it mentioned that Churchill is one of the leading scholars of Native America. Where do these looney ideas about "U.S. Imperial Arrogance and Criminality" that, according to Governor Bill Owens, defy the facts of history, come from, CNN readers are wondering? How did somebody writing books about U.S. imperialism end up as chair of an Ethnic Studies department?